Rant

[Leah_xx]

Here we go again.
My MIL recently started a huge fit cause I cant go camping with them this weekend due to the fact my family is camping out this weekened to.
I knew nothing about them going camping. The OH never even felt it was neccessary to tell me.
But with that said she started going on about my baby shower.
She said things like:

1.She was like am I even gonna be included.
2.This is my baby too.
3. Its mostly my family so I should be included.
4. Jacob gets half the things you get cause he needs them,
and they keep going
so i told her
1. We havent said anything or started planning cause of Jacob's graduation and his party.
2. This isnt your baby. Your the grandma. Your not the babies parent
3. The list consist of 100 peopl. 70 of the people is my family pretty much.
4. Jacob wont be home but on the weekend and if that with football season.
What if i need something that i got so he has it for his house,
he has the big things right now.
so she told me he needs a new crib cause his is on recall.
so i told her to tell her son to get up off his lazy butt and call the company to get the part for the crib. cause mine is staying on there.


ugghh
he isnt even worried about anything but starts fights between our two families. so i get put in the middle and they like to stress me out.
none of his family dont care about me. They just want this baby all to him and themselves.

i dont know what to do. HELP
?

 

[leo_mummy]

she does sound abit controlling, and its good that your able to stand up for yourself and correct her in what you don't like that she is saying to you.

i kind of have similar problems, cause my MIL is abit cntrolling. She seems to thnik that she is the one carrying the baby, and that when he comes, the baby will be only staying with her all the time, and that is not the case.

As for your OH, you need to sit down with him and set both your priorities straight, because he is causing rifts between you and your MIL and that is not good.
When the baby comes, you do not need to be feeling awkward around her because of what she is telling you to do.

Hope that everything gets sorted out soon, because the stress is not good for you and neither for baby.

 

[Horse&Heart<3]

Well that all sounds very stressful. And I can tell you need a hug. I dont see why she needs that crib when obviously don't have one and your the mother, the baby will obviously be living with you. If he has is own crib at all, then why would she even think of taking that crib away from you. And not to mention more than half of your family is going to the baby shower, so a lot of those gifts are towards you and the baby, not your boyfriend, your not married yet.

It sounds like you need to spend some more time with his family. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend's family cause mine hasn't completly warmed up to the idea of a baby running around the house. But your boyfriend also can't start fights between the two families. Tell him that needs to be fixed. The families need to come together to help support the both of you.

I think his mom just wants to feel more included in the pregnancy so her saying all of these things, is maybe underneath it all is her trying to say I want to be included in your life and the babies. Start a relationship with her. I'm going out to the mall with my boyfriend's sister and her mom to get his sister an outfit for a concert she is goin to with her dad. Be kind of overly friendly and happy when your wih em.

Their going to be much more apart of your lives and maybe she is worried the baby would be spending more time at your house then her's?

Hopefully this helped. 3

 

[Justagirlxx]

Sounds like you should have two seperate showers if she is going to act that way about who's stuff is who's and who gets what. I'd just say f*** it, none of your fam will be coming to my shower and then just keep all the stuff from your own shower and they can have their own. I know this sounds pretty harsh but its pretty harsh for her to be saying the MOTHER of the child can't keep some of the stuff expecially if you need it. I mean you cant get doubles of everything!

 

[Leah_xx]

It sounds like you need to spend some more time with his family. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend's family cause mine hasn't completly warmed up to the idea of a baby running around the house. But your boyfriend also can't start fights between the two families. Tell him that needs to be fixed. The families need to come together to help support the both of you.

QUOTE]

i do spend time with his family
we go on vacations and go out to eat. im always at his house.
but she seems to just go into a tizzy now around me

 

[Leah_xx]

Sounds like you should have two seperate showers if she is going to act that way about who's stuff is who's and who gets what. I'd just say f*** it, none of your fam will be coming to my shower and then just keep all the stuff from your own shower and they can have their own. I know this sounds pretty harsh but its pretty harsh for her to be saying the MOTHER of the child can't keep some of the stuff expecially if you need it. I mean you cant get doubles of everything!

im like to the point where if i do have more out burst like that im going to tell her to have her own baby shower for him.
she is always bashin on my mom which royally ticks me off and its like hello im sitting right her

 

[Horse&Heart<3]

Then this is something of her own that she needs to get over. Like I said before, you need support. Not the stress or the b*tchin. And saying stuff about your mom infront of you? That's just low and immature. Atleast she doesn't do it behind your back. But still it's your mom, her future grandchild's other grandma. It's about time she comes to accept that this is your's and her son's baby. Not just my son's baby. I just think she needs a bit of a reality check espicially if your there so much.

 

[Horse&Heart<3]

I would understand if you and her son weren't there often. But not if your there a lot.

 

[Leah_xx]

yeah i kno exactly what you mean
but she is the kinda person who it has to be all about them
and she has to be in charge of EVERYTHING
literally

 

[MommyGrim]

I'm sorry! One thing you could think about if this problem isn't resolved by the time LO gets here, is to make a list of rules. And if everyone doesn't follow those rules they don't get to see LO...which may be a little harsh at first but I think they'll take you more seriously if you stand behind it. That way your MIL will know that YOU are the mom and SHE is the g-ma...kinda to help thicken that border that she doesn't really see aparently...

Hope it helps!

 

[Leah_xx]

I'm sorry! One thing you could think about if this problem isn't resolved by the time LO gets here, is to make a list of rules. And if everyone doesn't follow those rules they don't get to see LO...which may be a little harsh at first but I think they'll take you more seriously if you stand behind it. That way your MIL will know that YOU are the mom and SHE is the g-ma...kinda to help thicken that border that she doesn't really see aparently...

Hope it helps!

Thanks
it does sorta make sense to do that
cause honestly with me being only 17 and not turning 18 till march they cant force me to let thm see the baby.
they would have to take me to court
but i hope it doesnt get that extrme
since the OH wont be home but on weekends if not every other. so they will never have her.
they all work, where as my mom isnt workin so she can stay home and watch the bby so i can finish my last year in high school

 

[Horse&Heart<3]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. She sounds kind of controlling to me.