Re-night wean toddler...

[Feronia]

Ahhhh. My previously night-weaned 2-year old has been asking me for milk ALL NIGHT since my milk came in. She's keeping me awake FAR more than the newborn and I'm feeling very sleep deprived. I let her nurse a bit the first few nights due to engorgement, and then I started telling her that she needed to wait for the morning. Since midnight she's asked me for milk about every half hour and I kept cuddling her and saying she needed to stop asking me and wait until the morning. Finally at 4 I had enough and told her she didn't get any milk for a while (not my best parenting moment) and she threw a tantrum and we've been awake since then. I need sleep!

I nurse her throughout the day when she asks but she's asking me way too much at night, she's nursing more than the newborn.

 

[MommyJogger]

This passes! Mine wanted a lot of milk at first, too. I think part of it is feeling out their position now that the new baby is here. We just nursed through it for the most part, with at least a couple bad mom moments of my own, and he calmed down on his own. Do you cosleep with both? I found mine would ask much less at night if he slept on daddy's other side, rather than between us. But we have had at least a couple handfulls of "we're up at 4am because toddler wanted milk and baby was already nursing/mommy was very empty and can't let down for the toddler anymore".
I'm usually very against bribing, but when I knew I was empty and he'd get upset that I wasn't letting down, it really did help to be able to promise something they really like when they woke up if they fell asleep again for a while. It was gentle and effective, so I was willing to compromise my "no bribes" rule.
Congratulations! You'll figure it out. Those first weeks with 2, especially tandeming, are.... well, they're great, but you slog through them at the same time.

 

[Feronia]

Thanks! We are co-sleeping for the most part, she likes to go down to sleep in her room (I give her a choice) and then she wanders in sometime in the night. So far she's not jealous of him at all and loves him a lot, and I let her nurse whenever she wants during the day, but night time has been awful. I'm so glad to hear it passes.

She hates dad in the middle of the night, it's so strange. She won't sleep next to him, only me. So if I just keep denying the milk at night and say "not until the morning" will she finally stop asking again and sleep through like she used to?

 

[MommyJogger]

She definitely will. I find it helps us to talk about night time happenings during the day when good moods abound. Then if she nurses before bed, remind that this is the last milk until the sun shines. I hear people recommend groclocks a lot for this, that might help her understand when she gets to nurse again. "In the morning" is a surpriisngly abstract concept at that age and at least part of the tantrum is possibly from a lack of concrete understanding of when it will be okay to nurse again. All she knows is she keeps waking up and getting told no, and it probably feels to her like she's been asleep a really long time.

 

[Feronia]

Thanks so much, those are excellent tips!

 

[Marythefairy]

I second the groclock recommendation. My toddler doesn't bf anymore but it has been Brilliant for getting the hang of when morning is. If she wakes and the sun isn't out yet she will play in her bed and I get a shout of morning uppity uppity up time as soon as the sun rises. It's become part of our bedtime routine to set the clock each night.