Really hurt..

[Gizzyy]

Hi,
I'm 21 and live with my partner, we moved out in march. The only family I have up where i live is my grandparents as my mum doesn't bother with me and my dad lives in London. I didn't want to move up here but I had no choice. I'm glad I met my partner and his family are lovely.

Everything was fine last year until my partners stepsister got pregnant and moved up here with his family, I'd always go vibes she didn't like me and I was told she is a very jealous and selfish person but I tried to get along with her nonetheless even when i was having my mc last year i was comforting her about her pregnancy when she was feeling emotional. Basically I tried to be her friend so she would accept me.
Now a year along she has had her baby but I was on another pregnancy site today and I came across her profile..On one of her threads from a few months ago She was basically slating her mum, stepdad and me. She said: Quote " my 24 y/o brother has a new girlfriend who is here friday lunchtime to sunday night every f**king week, theyre licking her arse completely saying how unfortunate she is because she lives with her grandparents (fell out with her mum a couple of years ago) and how wonderful and amazing she is etc.... and just making me feel like shit."

From reading this I am hurt and now I don't even want to tell me inlaws that I am pregnant in fear of her overreacting. It's making me not want to be around my partners family right now. I've already held off telling them until after christmas so she can enjoy her first Christmas with her baby. Sorry if this is the wrong section I just really need advice I'm feeling down as my partner is the only person I have once my grandparents are gone and if I can't get on with his family/Sisiter Idk what to do.

 

[BabyBlondex]

She sounds like a jealous cow to me,must be hard for you hun xx

 

[bther]

She sounds awful. Show your partner what you found on the internet and talk it through with him and tell him how you feel now. Don't bend over backwards for her and just do what you want to do - if you want to tell your in laws at christmas that you're pregnant, tell them! You don't need to be all pal-ly with her if she's writing horrible things about you. She's in the wrong, not you. Big hugs. I hope it sorts out soon. xxx

 

[Sassymom]

My advice? Kill her with kindness. Don't let her know that you found her post, just be the wonderful person you are. Shower her with praise and love and slowly she'll see that the good things her parents say about you are true and she'll feel horrible she ever said a bad thing about you

I hope it all works out for you and congrats on your pregnancy!!!

 

[Gizzyy]

Thanks for the advice everyone It means alot. I did tell my OH about what she wrote but of course he just said that's what she's like..
It didn't comfort me that much but yes I think It's best not to worry too much about her and concentrate on my baby. It's just so hard as she is always around now.

 

[bther]

My advice? Kill her with kindness. Don't let her know that you found her post, just be the wonderful person you are. Shower her with praise and love and slowly she'll see that the good things her parents say about you are true and she'll feel horrible she ever said a bad thing about you

I hope it all works out for you and congrats on your pregnancy!!!

LOL!! I read the first four words and thought "Whoa! Murder isn't necessary!"

 

[BabyBlondex]

Lmao!

 

[Sassymom]

My advice? Kill her with kindness. Don't let her know that you found her post, just be the wonderful person you are. Shower her with praise and love and slowly she'll see that the good things her parents say about you are true and she'll feel horrible she ever said a bad thing about you

I hope it all works out for you and congrats on your pregnancy!!!

LOL!! I read the first four words and thought "Whoa! Murder isn't necessary!"

Lmao!!

 

[2Pups4Kids]

I had a VERY similar relationship with my husband's brother's ex-wife. Ever since I starting visiting with his family when we started dating (almost 7 years ago now...) she always treated me as if I wasn't there. She made passive aggressive comments any time she WOULD communicate with me... and I found out later when she and my brother-in-law were splitting up, she would constantly b*tch about me to my husband's brother about how I'm not right for my husband. I barely knew her, and was astounded that she felt like she knew what was right for my boyfriend (at the time). Plus, during their split, she kept in close contact with HIS family and felt entitled to being part of family events, forcing him to not attend, which I felt was wrong.

It took sending her an e-mail giving her my piece of mind. For 4 years, I didn't say a word to argue with her and only wanted her to accept me, but this was where I drew the line.

She was surprisingly extremely receptive to it (and I think it's because she was being called out on her crap) and actually e-mailed my brother-in-law saying that someone who really cared about him sent her an honest e-mail... and she gave him and his family the space he needed.

Sometimes, people like that are totally comfortable with being passive-aggressive but are NOT confrontational, so when they're called out on what's going on, they listen. Surprisingly. Doing it in a private manner really helped me. The rest of the family had no idea the conversation ever took place, and that's the way it should be. It's important that she knows how she's affecting you, because maybe she doesn't realize (as silly as it sounds). Otherwise, she's going to keep going on the way she is.

 

[Bevziibubble]

She sounds very jealous in all this! I would just ignore it, be civil to her. You're the bigger person in all this. She may one day realise she was wrong about you, but if not, don't worry, it sounds like the rest of the family are fab

 

[Gizzyy]

I had a VERY similar relationship with my husband's brother's ex-wife. Ever since I starting visiting with his family when we started dating (almost 7 years ago now...) she always treated me as if I wasn't there. She made passive aggressive comments any time she WOULD communicate with me... and I found out later when she and my brother-in-law were splitting up, she would constantly b*tch about me to my husband's brother about how I'm not right for my husband. I barely knew her, and was astounded that she felt like she knew what was right for my boyfriend (at the time). Plus, during their split, she kept in close contact with HIS family and felt entitled to being part of family events, forcing him to not attend, which I felt was wrong.

It took sending her an e-mail giving her my piece of mind. For 4 years, I didn't say a word to argue with her and only wanted her to accept me, but this was where I drew the line.

She was surprisingly extremely receptive to it (and I think it's because she was being called out on her crap) and actually e-mailed my brother-in-law saying that someone who really cared about him sent her an honest e-mail... and she gave him and his family the space he needed.

Sometimes, people like that are totally comfortable with being passive-aggressive but are NOT confrontational, so when they're called out on what's going on, they listen. Surprisingly. Doing it in a private manner really helped me. The rest of the family had no idea the conversation ever took place, and that's the way it should be. It's important that she knows how she's affecting you, because maybe she doesn't realize (as silly as it sounds). Otherwise, she's going to keep going on the way she is.

Thanks for all advice I think you girls are right. She is a very jealous person and I think she will need to be put in her place if she starts having a go at me about my pregnancy which she has no right.
2pups4kids: I think you hit the nail on the head there! She is passive aggressive and isn't woman enough to say things to my face apart from snide comments every now and then. Every time she's bitched about me it's been behind my back and I've found out.

I think confronting her could be a good idea but she is very prone to going off on one so I'm not sure.. xxx

 

[Night Flower]

Tell your families when youre ready but then if she gives you shit. Bitch her ass out. Dont allow her to disrespect you.

She was very cruel to you during your M.C. What a little brat. How old is she? 4?

 

[2Pups4Kids]

Thanks for all advice I think you girls are right. She is a very jealous person and I think she will need to be put in her place if she starts having a go at me about my pregnancy which she has no right.
2pups4kids: I think you hit the nail on the head there! She is passive aggressive and isn't woman enough to say things to my face apart from snide comments every now and then. Every time she's bitched about me it's been behind my back and I've found out.

I think confronting her could be a good idea but she is very prone to going off on one so I'm not sure.. xxx

I know what you mean. It was easier for me knowing I wouldn't have to face her again (because of the divorce), so I can see how hard it can be. It's just sad that people have to bother themselves with being negative toward someone they haven't even gotten the chance to know better. What's the point in being a terrible person to someone who did absolutely nothing to deserve it? I don't get people sometimes. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

 

[Gizzyy]

Thanks hun. Yep I don't understand it either.. some people can just be so malicious and it's a shame because I would quite happily have been a good friend to her and helped out with her daughter if she needed it. Such is life guess it's their loss not ours x

 

[2Pups4Kids]

Thanks hun. Yep I don't understand it either.. some people can just be so malicious and it's a shame because I would quite happily have been a good friend to her and helped out with her daughter if she needed it. Such is life guess it's their loss not ours x

Exactly, and staying positive is the only way to get through it