really need some help about contact

[dawnmichelle]

hello iv posted before about maintenance from my 11 week old babies father when he was saying for me not to tell the jobcentre about him paying because he was worried about csa getting involved, well that is sorted out i told them how much hes giving me. Any way he sees lo once a week and today he asked to take lo out to his mum for an hour she lives 20 mins away, lo hasnt been away from me yet so i txt him and said no and explained my reason, and now he wants to see him twice a week hes very pushy and when he was born he said hed take me to court if he didnt get what he wants, if i refuse him twice a week and dont let him take him out yet will he get alot more from court straight away? his names not on bc because he didnt want it on there. thanks for reading dawn

 

[sarahxx]

he has no legal rights at all as he is not on the birth certificate. this might not be what you want to hear but it's really lucky he's not on it, this will go in your favour as although both of you know he is the father the courts would view him as a stranger iykwim?
but even if he was on it, he wouldn't get more access than twice a week to begin with i don't think. my ex is going for twice a week and i've said it's okay, but my solicitor told me that if i didn't agree to it he wouldn't get it, at least until he proved commitment to contact etc and that could take months.
x

 

[JA1988]

I'm having trouble with my ex about contact. My LO is 10 weeks old and I live 170 miles away from FOB. He is saying that unless I let him stay overnight after visits then he is going to take me to court and that he wants unsupervised contact which I have told him is not happening until LO is no longer bf so definitely not until LO is at least a year and a half. My solicitor has told me that typical access would be little and often, so in your case a court would probably grant him visits no longer than 2-4 hours maximum and no more than 2-3 times a week and certainly not unsupervised. Is LO bf? xx

 

[dawnmichelle]

hiya yea he is bf and i havnt even given him expressed milk in a bottle yet i dont really want too, thanks for your advice x

 

[billy2mm]

he would get contact once every 1-2 weeks so let him crack on!

as for taking lo out - he cant unless you are there since lo wont take ebm in a bottle (he doesnt need to know you havent tried it lol)

 

[dawnmichelle]

thanks iv told him an hour on mondays and an hour on fridays and have offered for him to come along to dylans injections next week, do you think that is fair?

 

[sarahxx]

that seems more than fair xx

 

[billy2mm]

very fair

 

[jess_smurf]

if your BF you have every right to supervise access not fair for a baby to be hungry because he wants time alone with them. if someone in his family wants to see LO they will have to come to you not LO to them

FOB does see olivia every day and i dont mind as he baths her and gets her ready for bed and our friendship is okish. He also understands he will get to see her everyday if she stays with me and knows i get anxious if she isnt with me. if he wants access away fromm me with her then i told him he wont be here everyday

and i refused to express for him, i didnt want to so didnt have to x

 

[bw1691]

Hello,
i think my situation is fairly similar to yours.
FOB sees my LO once a week, i did say it would be more like twice a week but his shifts havent really allowed for that....or so he says.
He hasnt contributed a penny to him, so it winds me right up when he is so quick to tell me what he is entitled to. Unfortunatly i was'nt as wise as you and he is on the birth certificate as at that time i was persitant i would make it work.
A few times he has brought up that he wants to take LO out on his own in his car (call me neurotic but he has only been driving a few months and i dont like the way he drives).
And up until january i had been taking him to FOB parents house every few weeks until my parents recieved a particularly ignorant, unpleasant letter from them.