Really Struggling

[hulahoops04]

Hi everyone. Just wanted a bit of support really from people who understand. My husband and I have been TTC since March 2009. I've had blood tests, which did show I have slight hypothyroidism, so I'm now on Thyroxine. My cycles are irregular and so I have my ultrasound scan booked for 13 July and my husband is having his SA on the same date. Our GP has today referred us to the fertility clinic.

Thing is I'm finding it very difficult to cope. Didn't help that our appointment this morning at the GP was at the same time as the baby clinic. I had to sit in another room to stop me crying. The other big issue is that i'm a midwife, so as you can imagine as much as I love my job, it is becoming unbearable at the minute. I feel I am completed overwhelmed with it. I know that 15 months is not too long to have been trying, but i think my job makes it so difficult for me to cope knowing it may never happen, or will at least be a long road.

My husband is terrified that the SA will show he has a problem as he knows this is something that I want more than anything.

Sorry for the ramble. Just needed to get it off my chest xxx

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi hun,

Gosh with your job I think anyone would find it incredibly tough! I really hope that July's appointment gives you some answers. But its sooo hard doing all the waiting all the time.

 

[ladypink]

Hi hun, no wonder you're finding it hard, i can't imagine what it's like trying to cope with being around babies and mums; I can't even cope at ASDA on a Saturday or in work; looking after everyone else's children all day! (Teacher) My OH was nervous about SA as well but this is the only test men really have to do as long as everything is norm so at least it's over pretty quick. 15 months of TTC is still a long time and it's hard! We've been ttc for over 2 years and around 12-18 months was a really difficult time for us too. See this first app as a positive step towards being parents, good luck hun, xxx hugs

 

[Deb111]

Hi hun,

I find my job pretty difficult, teaching 5 yr olds day in day out, but yours must be so much harder to deal with

It is such a difficult road dealing with fertility problems ... there's so much waiting involved and your mind starts running away with "what if's" - it doesn't help, but it's impossible not to

I hope you get some answers soon hun xx

 

[Flake-y]

Hey there; It's a horrible time, going for all the tests, but every test that gets done, every day that passes, you are one step closer to your bfp.

And 15 months is long enough to be trying; that's lots of cycles of being disappointed when af arrives; it's tough, I know.

But you are on your way to getting some answers! I hope all your tests go ok & if there is a problem, it can be fixed easily.

Lots of luck!!!

 

[Starbright]

Sorry to hear you're struggling honey. (((big hugs)))
Good luck for your appointment - hopefully it will bring some answers and you can start to think about where to go from here. Take care
xxxxx

 

[Dancingkaty1]

hi...i know exactly how u feel....

i am a qualified nursery nurse and have always worked in the 0-1 year old room. when i conceived my dd in 2005 i decided to start childminding from home after i had her as too be closer to her. i got married in 2008 and started ttc number 2, i decided to return to work in the baby room as my dd was 3 and i wanted her to mix more with others her own age in preparation of going to school sept 2010. ( she was able to go in the 3-5yr room) i loved being back with babies, but every mth my af caught me i would be sooo down, i knew i was soooo capable of being a great mummy to a new baby but it just wasnt happening for us. after 9 mths of working there and 12 mths ttc i was made redundant as they were making staff cuts. at the time i was angry but im glad it happened as i was getting too upset anyway.

we had many tests done....99% of them were at my local hospital, right next to the midwife department where they do scans etc and id see ladies with nice pregnant bumps i used to even drop my dd at nursery & 99%of the mums had pushchairs with babies in or were pregnant, it really got me down.....

i was eventually put on clomid after being diagnosed with polycysts on my only ovary....conceived twins on our 4th cycle, just after i had a lap & dye that was nearly 2 years of ttc.

am now 21 weeks, please dont give up hope....i know how hard it is but it will be ur turn soon....xxx

 

[annie25]

hi hun,

i'm in your boat and feel much the same im a radiographer so i deal with people/babies/children alot too i have been ttc 20 cycles now and have slight PCOS awaiting ultrasound on tuesday to see if anything else is going on and DH handed in sample on monday just gone.

it's a tough time watching everyone else go on getting pregnant and having their babies since you have been ttc and in my case more than once with some people! i have been married 2 years and both my bridesmaids have had babies in that time and although im chuffed for them it's hard when all i get is a occasional cuddle and no my own baby.

please try to keep your chin up and ramble away thats what we are all here for xxx

 

[mel_16]

I can honestly say I understand.

Today I found out my best friend is pregnant and whilst I want more than anything to be happy for her, in reality I'm gutted. It is so hard watching all my colleagues get pregnant and having to be all happy about it when all I want to do is cry.

We've been trying for almost 2 years but the doctors won't do any tests until it has been 2 years. My husband refuses to see there is a problem and accept how hard I'm finding it all. I can't talk to anyone because they are all pregnant/have kids and I don't want it all over work that I'm not coping too well.

In the past 2 years my sister has had her second, most of my work colleagues have had one and in some cases are onto baby 2. All I do is field comments about when I'm going to have one and it really really hurts. Even my parents have started on that I don't want to leave it too late to start a family! I didn't realise it could be this difficult.

I hate feeling this way and it is starting to impact at work as I don't want to be there anymore and I'm starting to make mistakes.

But what can you do?? Pick yourself up, slap on a smile and pretend that everything is ok I guess.