berniegroves
A daughter and a son
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2010
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my baby girl is 16 weeks old and i am struggling.
i don't know what i'm feeling as i am so up and down. I love my baby more than anything, i just think she would be better off without me.
she really fights sleep and it had gotten to the point where i would hold her for each of her daytime naps as that way i knew she was getting enough rest each day. A few weeks ago i managed to move one of these naps to her pushchair, but the other two were still on me where i would rock her to sleep.
A problem we have had since she was born is getting her to go down at night. no matter what we did she would start crying as soon as we put her in her moses basket/cot. I nurse her to sleep and then we move her over to her cot, sometimes this doesn't work so i rock her to sleep and move her over.
If we put her down awake she will just scream and scream and i don't want to let her cry it out.
I did some research into attached parenting and realised that was the style i was most close too (breastfeeding, baby wearing etc) and so i started to feel a bit more confident that i wasn't the only one parenting her child to sleep.
But people keep telling me i am wrong and i am ruining her. To start with my OH ignored them, but then DD went through a really bad week last week (i think she was developing new skills and it effected her sleep) and i think OH blamed me. She wouldn't go into her cot at all and he said it was because i hold her for her naps (even though i have been doing this for a while now) and so at the weekend he told me i am not to hold her for naps anymore. So she went in her pushchair for each nap, but only had catnaps each time so wasn't getting enough sleep.
Now this week he has gone back to work and i have an overtired baby as she hasn't napped properly in days and each nap time gets harder to get her to sleep in her pushchair. She cries so much now
she never used to cry during the day at all really, just a bit at nighttime when we were strugling to get her down. Now she is always crying as she is overtired.
I feel awful that this is all my fault. i really felt like i was doing the right thing by holding her as it meant she was sleeping at least and its not like she would still be napping on me at 10 years old so it was only temporary. But i feel now like i ruined everything and she is so unhappy!
It takes so long to get her down at night it is killing me! Every second from the time i get up to the time i go to bed is spent on her. I just wish she would go down easier at night so that i could come back downstairs and have an hour or two for myself and with my husband.
I should add when she goes down she will stay down for at least 7 hours, sometimes as many as 10 hours.
I just don't feel like me, every aspect of my life has changed and there is nothing of me left. I feel resentful of my husband as he gets to eat a relaxed lunch each day and go to the gym during his lunchbreak and make a cup of tea whenever he wants. And whilst his job is high pressured it has at least remained the same. So whilst he is hands on with the baby at home, a large part of his week is the same and predictable. I don't want to feel this way.
He gave me a ring after i had our daughter because he said i did such an amazing job.I have stopped wearing it as i don't feel i deserve it anymore.
I am a terrible mum, i cry so much and sometimes when she won't stop crying i feel so angry.
I just don't know what to do. I thought i was doing my best but then everyone says that wasn't good enough. I feel so lost. And my baby seems so unhappy with me.
i don't know what i'm feeling as i am so up and down. I love my baby more than anything, i just think she would be better off without me.
she really fights sleep and it had gotten to the point where i would hold her for each of her daytime naps as that way i knew she was getting enough rest each day. A few weeks ago i managed to move one of these naps to her pushchair, but the other two were still on me where i would rock her to sleep.
A problem we have had since she was born is getting her to go down at night. no matter what we did she would start crying as soon as we put her in her moses basket/cot. I nurse her to sleep and then we move her over to her cot, sometimes this doesn't work so i rock her to sleep and move her over.
If we put her down awake she will just scream and scream and i don't want to let her cry it out.
I did some research into attached parenting and realised that was the style i was most close too (breastfeeding, baby wearing etc) and so i started to feel a bit more confident that i wasn't the only one parenting her child to sleep.
But people keep telling me i am wrong and i am ruining her. To start with my OH ignored them, but then DD went through a really bad week last week (i think she was developing new skills and it effected her sleep) and i think OH blamed me. She wouldn't go into her cot at all and he said it was because i hold her for her naps (even though i have been doing this for a while now) and so at the weekend he told me i am not to hold her for naps anymore. So she went in her pushchair for each nap, but only had catnaps each time so wasn't getting enough sleep.
Now this week he has gone back to work and i have an overtired baby as she hasn't napped properly in days and each nap time gets harder to get her to sleep in her pushchair. She cries so much now
she never used to cry during the day at all really, just a bit at nighttime when we were strugling to get her down. Now she is always crying as she is overtired. I feel awful that this is all my fault. i really felt like i was doing the right thing by holding her as it meant she was sleeping at least and its not like she would still be napping on me at 10 years old so it was only temporary. But i feel now like i ruined everything and she is so unhappy!
It takes so long to get her down at night it is killing me! Every second from the time i get up to the time i go to bed is spent on her. I just wish she would go down easier at night so that i could come back downstairs and have an hour or two for myself and with my husband.
I should add when she goes down she will stay down for at least 7 hours, sometimes as many as 10 hours.
I just don't feel like me, every aspect of my life has changed and there is nothing of me left. I feel resentful of my husband as he gets to eat a relaxed lunch each day and go to the gym during his lunchbreak and make a cup of tea whenever he wants. And whilst his job is high pressured it has at least remained the same. So whilst he is hands on with the baby at home, a large part of his week is the same and predictable. I don't want to feel this way.
He gave me a ring after i had our daughter because he said i did such an amazing job.I have stopped wearing it as i don't feel i deserve it anymore.
I am a terrible mum, i cry so much and sometimes when she won't stop crying i feel so angry.
I just don't know what to do. I thought i was doing my best but then everyone says that wasn't good enough. I feel so lost. And my baby seems so unhappy with me.
