Really?? Thoughtless comments...

[Mrs Eleflump]

Today someone who works in one of the sister departments to mine came over to me, all 'I didn't know you were pregnant, congrats!' etc, so far so good...

Then she says 'why did you wait til now to announce it??' So I said, I announced at 13 weeks, the news must just not have travelled well. Again, ok...

and THEN she says 'oh, well, that's a good replacement for your cat, isn't it?'

Er...WHAT?

We lost our beautiful moggy to cancer last Bonfire night, and we're still gutted about it. I mean, really devastated, still missing him badly and there are still tears for him. He was the centre of our universe while we had him and we loved him to bits, and always will. He was never 'just' a cat, to us he was a person in his own right, and a full member of our family. We haven't even considered getting another cat because we're nowhere near ready for it, regardless of the fact we're expecting.

This woman is known for her big mouth, but she is the THIRD person who's said something like this to me. I can't believe people can be so thoughtless. Our cat and our baby are two completely different people, and one is not a 'replacement' for the other, or 'better' than the other. I resent the implication that we're having a baby because we lost our cat, or that the baby is 'instead' of another cat.

Is this just me being hormonal, or am I right to feel upset and offended by this?

 

[busytulip]

You have every right to be upset. I am sorry that anyone has said something so callous and crass as that to you. That is just awful.

 

[shirlls]

that was so thoughtless of her. Sorry for the loss of your cat. Unfortunately some people don't recognise the value of cherished pets but that doesn't give them the right to make thoughtless comments.

I know it's not the same thing but I lost my cat in a tragic household accident a few years ago, someone not the biggest cat lover said in response when I told her and someone else about it said "oh, your cat must have really suffered, it's a good job it was just an animal and not a child" ('just an animal' grrr!). It still riles me to this day.

Your cat was one of the family, and nothing will ever replace him so don't listen to people like her, it is just ignorance.

x

 

[Nina83]

Holy crap, that is a stupid thing to say! Insensitive as well!
I'm sorry about your cat, my Moms cat passed a few years ago and it hurt.

 

[ToughhGal]

I would be upset too! I have a cat and a dog and love those boys sooo much!

 

[tamina800]

That is an idiotic comment and you have every right to feel upset.
People and their stupidity never ceases to amaze me...
Sorry about your cat.

 

[RinnaRoo]

Not everyone has pets that are apart of their family like that. Me being one of them.
Its it tough to loose an animal that you've cared for, but just brush off peoples ignorant comments, sometimes they just don't know what else to say.

 

[Mrs Eleflump]

Thank you lovelies I wondered if I was overreacting, but glad to see I'm not!

I'm so sorry for your losses, Shirlls and Nina. It is so hard to lose a furry (or feathered, or scaly) family member.

I know not all people feel this way about pets, and I definitely appreciate that...it's odd, one of the other people who has said this sort of thing to me is my Aunty, who hates cats with a passion, so I can sort of understand it from her, though I was so hurt when she said it, but the other person is someone whose life completely revolves around her cats, they are her babies the way George was ours, so I really don't understand that at all!

I'm definitely not going to make a big deal of it with her, as people have said some pretty weird stuff to me about this pregnancy. Several people have been quite offensive and thoughtless about various things, from me needing to go back to work full-time after maternity leave (I'm the main earner by a long way, but apparently that means the baby will be emotionally stunted ), to delving into the reasons my husband doesn't have a driving licence and how that apparently means we're going to have a total nightmare getting to the hospital in labour shrug: that's what friends and taxis are for...!), and if I got hung up on all of it I'd just be perpetually irate I think this today was just the last straw in my tolerance, as I'm just really really tired...I've just woken up from a 3-hour nap!

It's good to be able to vent on here...it's nice that people understand

 

[Yo_Yo]

So sorry about your cat honey

Was a stupid comment to make to you, and I don't get how the she came to think let alone say such a dumb thing.

 

[Mrs Eleflump]

Indeed, Yo_Yo...some people are really lacking a filter, aren't they! I don't see what's so inadequate about leaving it at 'what lovely news, I'm happy for you' and perhaps asking about the due date, lol.

 

[pinkribbon]

I'm sorry about the loss of your cat

Some people just don't realise they're being insensitive unfortunately