really upset about it all today

[Mynxie]

and I have no idea why. Over 4 years since I stopped taking the pill, 54 months ago, pretty much to the day, maybe around 23 cycles max in that time and 3 failed pregnancies, 2 fucked up appointments and a fucked up permanently damaged arm later and no where, but resentment for my body and guilt for being a failiure of a wife.

People say they'd give their right arm for something, I pretty much did and still don't have a LO. It's fucked up, it's all so fucked up.

It's got to the point now where I don't particularly LIKE random children, cause it's me distancing myself from the desire to have children. To pretend that it isn't there and to want to physically scream and shout and lash out at certain people

It's a fucked up life.

 

[Sammy2009]

Hi sorry you are feeling so down.... i know how you feel we have been TTC for 2 years (approx) and there have been tears and anger all the way through. One day you will get that BFP.... hopefully really soon as well. What happened to your arm hun? I hope you are feeling a little better, its not easy this TTC lark.

 

[CareBear]

Sorry you've feeling down today

 

[Mynxie]

thank you

sammy I have a neurological condition, when they took blood for the fertility clinic appt to check hormones (again!) it caused the condition to spread to that arm (the only limb that wasn't already knackered).

 

[Clueless]

It's a fucked up life.

It is.

 

[NeyNey]

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry to read this, I hope that it does get a little brighter for you soon. I know it's horrible when we hit these rock bottom days. thinking of you xoxox

 

[mrsstreet0417]

Sorry you're having such a hard day hon

 

[Mynxie]

thank you ladies, like NeyNey says, it's one of those rock bottom days. I just wish that I was better at dealing with things sometimes

 

[AnnaBanana9]

Honey, I just wanted to send you love and You know where I am if you need anything.
xx

 

[Mynxie]

thank you hun xx

 

[rani36]

Hope your feeling better today mynxie,i do although agree with u it is a fucked up life and soooooooooo not fair.All the junkies etc have kids who dont even appreciate them and here we are begging and hoping for even just one!