Really upset because of consultant

[lornapj83]

Hi ladies I seen my consultant today and I left in tears she really upset me this is my 6th pregnancy but 7th baby my children are 14 11 twins who turn 10 in a couple of days a 3 year old and a 2 year old so anyway today I seen my consultants colleague and yes I'm a bit over weight and only 5'1 well today she made me feel so small and stupid she kept going on about my weight bear in mind I've lost 5lbs since falling pregnant but I'm no heavier than in my last pregnancy but she starts saying ur baby's shoulders could get stuck because u have more fat basically inside me ? Also my baby has to have a clip on its head in labour so they can keep track of his heartbeat the belt won't work where last time the belly heart monitor worked just fine also she told me I should breast feed not because it's good for my newborn son but for me to lose weight (I'm breast feeding anyway for my son not because of losing weight) but seriously she went on and on about how my weights going to affect my pregnancy and birth also she told me my baby's were all too small at birth so I have to have growth scans my children at birth were 6lb he was 2 weeks early 8lb2 he was 10 days late my identical twin boys were 4lb2 and 5 lb 2 they were 4 weeks early then my last son 7lb11 he was 6 days early and then my little girl was 16 days early and she was 6lb but apparently all my baby's should have been a few lbs heavier my children have had no complications cos of their "low" birth weights and too me they were not too small just average apart from my twins which is expected with 2 what's everyone else's thoughts because out of all my pregnancys no body has ever made me feel more like crap and literally ball like a baby than she has I'm seriously considering putting in a complaint sorry ladies for this massive rant I just wanted others opinions thank in advance xx

 

[NennaKay]

I woul definitely lodge a complaint. Have any of your other doctors ever expressed concern about you or your babies weights? Study all sound like healthy weights to me...

Even if what she is saying happened to be true, that is NOT the way to talk to anyone, let alone someone under your care who is hormonal and pregnant. Sounds like she was having a bad day and took it out on you...

I think she's full of Bologna.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

The low birth weight part is a load of crap. My kids were 5lbs 7oz, 6lbs 11oz, and 5lbs 10oz, and I'm not considered overweight. Some people just make small babies (and yours aren't even that small!).

You know your body best, and if you know your weight isn't affecting your pregnancy, don't let some stranger tell you otherwise. Just do what feels right for you and your baby and forget the rest.

 

[nnaime]

Hello, I'm so sorry for your experience! She should not have attacked you in that way. Find a new doctor/nurse/consultant because no one deserves that kind of harsh judgment. If your other pregnancy's came through fine I would seriously say she's full of it. Put it out of your mind, file that complaint, and let the crumbs fall where they may

 

[lornapj83]

Thanks ladies I knew my babies weights were normal and I've never ever been told they were too small and no I've always had amazing blood pressure I have always lost weight in pregnancy apart from my 2nd I put on 6lbs my births have all been 12 hours and under and apart from my second twins birth being a emergency csec because he got stuck up in my ribs (nothing to do with my weight ) and they have all been safe deliverys even my 2 vbacs only had stitches with my first
my baby's have all grown perfectly according to their percentile lines I was really hurt and felt so humiliated at how she spoke to me it was completely out of the blue I am not seeing her again as I have been booked in for a new consultant on January 5th instead of this lady she was really cruel and mean and I'm not a person who cries apart from sad films lol ( damn hormones ) but today I just broke my heart I think I will ring and put in a complaint just because of how she made me feel she contradicted herself so much too saying cos your over weight u have to have the glucose test because people overweight baby's are massive but then the next breath she's telling me I have to have extra scans because my baby's were all too small especially my first but basically she said because of my height my baby's should have been bigger is that even true ? I had no idea because of a woman's height weight determines a baby's weight at birth anyway thanks ladies for letting me vent out and taking your time to answer me xx

 

[crazy4baby09]

I would definitely find a new dr. I spent the bulk of my last pregnancy afraid to gain anything and worrying about all these complications from my weight (I have pcos so stuggle with my weight, my ob fat shamed me the entire pregnancy she even tried to force me to have a c section saying I wouldn't be able to push my son out because I was overweight, I had him out in 3 pushes) some drs have no tact when dealing with plus sized patients. I would just make sure you eat as healthy as you can and pay attention to your body that and regular prenatal care and you should be fine. I have a different dr this time and not once has she made me feel uncomfortable for my weight, its so much more pleasant and I can enjoy the pregnancy more.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

No, the mother's height doesn't make much difference when it comes to the size of the babies. Like I said, all mine have been small, but I'm 5'8''.

I'm so glad you're getting a new consultant, and I really think you should place that complaint. Because think of it this way, how many other women has she made cry besides you?

 

[xSweetTartx]

I'd file a complaint immediately. She was beyond inappropriate with you!
Struggling with weight or not, it sounds like you have had no issues whatsoever with your children. I personally believe that your diet, not your weight, has more to do with your baby's development.

 

[bettybee1]

Things is doctors are medical there not nurses or Midwifes who think about the whole person the doctor thinks about that one medical problem!

Am not been rude but tbh she was well in her right to say that stuff its isn't nice and no one likes it been said but it is The truth. Been over weight during pregnancy dramatically increases the risks of everything and it's quite hard work for doctors to manage as it makes medical births etc forceps section 100%more difficult!


Having said that anyone can have complications it's just more likely when overweight... If you feel she was rude in the way she came across maybe mention it to someone..but other than that I would take it on the chin and let it fly over your head you have had issues with your previous pregnancy a and most likely won't this time the doctor will blanket case anyone that falls into the overweight cat!

Good luck xx

 

[Kuji]

Definitely file a complaint. I just can't even believe what I'm hearing! There is no doubt that being overweight increases risks, but it doesn't guarantee bad things will happen. She could have easily just mentioned them to you in a professional way and also consider your past pregnancies and leave it at that. Sounds like pregnancy and birth wise, things go well for you, so I don't see why she's being so cruel!

And no, your babies are not small. Baby size can vary from woman to woman, however often 6-8lbs is the norm(again, depending on woman to woman, ethnicity and etc.). However a bigger or smaller baby doesn't mean it's a bad thing! Every child is different and genetics often play a huge role.

I'm overweight myself and my OB hasn't said a thing! I honestly expected her to but she didn't. But I guess seeing as all my tests have come back PERFECT, I think it's safe to say that I'm healthy, despite being overweight. My pregnancy even helped fix my thyroid issues which is a plus I've also lost about 10lbs in a month!

Hearing about your history, I would just dismiss what she's said. Of course it's good to be aware of the risks, but there's a way to tell people and she just didn't do it right...

Anyway, I'm glad that you're seeing someone else, hopefully she/he will be smarter and less cruel. But again, please file a complaint about her. She's most likely also doing this to someone else and it needs to be stopped. She's causing unnecessary stress and hurt to other mothers/unborn babies which she should be ashamed of.

 

[BunnyN]

Things is doctors are medical there not nurses or Midwifes who think about the whole person the doctor thinks about that one medical problem!

Am not been rude but tbh she was well in her right to say that stuff its isn't nice and no one likes it been said but it is The truth. Been over weight during pregnancy dramatically increases the risks of everything and it's quite hard work for doctors to manage as it makes medical births etc forceps section 100%more difficult!

Having said that anyone can have complications it's just more likely when overweight... If you feel she was rude in the way she came across maybe mention it to someone..but other than that I would take it on the chin and let it fly over your head you have had issues with your previous pregnancy a and most likely won't this time the doctor will blanket case anyone that falls into the overweight cat!

Good luck xx

If a doctor is going to work with people they should know how to. By all means mention it but there is no reason to go on about it. It sounds unprofessional to me plus she obvioualy stated things as fact that were not really true. She had no problem with the monitor last time so there isnt really a reason to think there will be this time. Personally I wouldn't accept a monitor anyway because there is no medical reason to use them.

I am overweight and had large babies it never caused me any problems during the births. It might increase some risks but there are lots of things that can increase risks, like being stuck to a monitor during labour, lol. I think staying active during labour was the most important thing for me.

 

[EmmyReece]

I really would file a complaint. She was way beyond her call of duty and sounded like she was downright horrible, to the point of rudeness. By all means explain the risks, but that doesn't give her the right to make you feel like that and if she can't speak to you with respect then she's in the wrong profession. It's absolutely disgusting because although overweight, it doesn't mean that we don't have feelings of our own.

I had a very similar experience a few weeks ago. My consultant was making me feel like filth under her shoe because of my size and made a comment under her breath that I would have trouble if I was having more than one baby. And when I went in on friday for my downs screening blood test I made a point to my midwife that I would not be seeing that consultant again and would not be made to feel that way.

 

[Marumi]

It seems she was on your case way beyond wanting to help you, bashing your weight whenever possible.
You have had successful pregnancies, healthy babies, maybe she should just stick to that.
I would file a complaint because rude people need to know they were rude.

I left my doctor because of a similar problem ...all she would ever talk about was my low weight and how she is sure my baby is not getting enough nutrients because skinny must automatically mean someone doesn't eat enough.
At my recent appointment I had my weight looked at and actually gained 6 lbs too much...

 

[Eleonora]

First of all, having had SIX healthy, happy babies you are obviously JUST FINE!! You are a pregnancy pro and for a doctor to focus on risk factors instead of track record is strange. Obviously pregnancy is a time when we all need to eat well, get some exercise, and be as healthy as possible, etc, etc..we get the message, right? But what I really wanted to say is that so many women receive this kind of criticism and we all hate it! I was in tears just last night because I had to go see a dietician this morning for the 2nd time this pregnancy and I just didn't want to be weighed and scrutinized and have to explain what I had been eating. (Actually she is really nice and hasn't given me a hard time - - the high risk docs are the ones who are really unrealistic about weight gain). So on one hand it is hugely personal, but on the other, please be reassured that zillions of women of all shapes and sizes are receiving this kind of pressure and we all hate it. (So I came home just now and ate chocolate cookies in revenge! ha ha )

 

[wannabenewmum]

Back when I was pregnant with my number four I weighed 18st there abouts ️anyway I was having my 20weeks scan and the sonographer was disgusting , completely rude , she at one point asked how I got In this condition( I thought she meant the baby ) so replied that my husband and I planned him, she went no I meant how did u get so fat , ur too fat too scan as I can't see the heart very well, I started to cry she was pushing so hard , then my little girl asked if I was having a boy or girl and she turned to her and said if mummy was not so huge, I cud tell u , my husband lost it and walked out , he was so angry he demanded to see the head of unit , I of course was devasted , sobbing I never went back for any of my scans due to the mortification,
Your baby's don't seem to me to be particularly low birth weights , i think sometimes these ppl think they know what's best for you , obviously in an ideal world we would all be thinner , but I know it's not that easy , make a complaint hun and really don't let some mindless Moran ruin ur preganancy I wish I hadn't , I spent the whole time worry about my baby because I couldn't do the scans

 

[Left wonderin]

Gosh I'd no 1 file a complaint , no 2 ) get rid and find a new doctor !!! That was disgraceful !!! Even if you were 40 stone NO ONE has the right to speak to anyone that way !!!!!

Hope your feeling a little better , don't let it get to you . Your children were all just perfect xx and great weights for twins

 

[Kuji]

Back when I was pregnant with my number four I weighed 18st there abouts ️anyway I was having my 20weeks scan and the sonographer was disgusting , completely rude , she at one point asked how I got In this condition( I thought she meant the baby ) so replied that my husband and I planned him, she went no I meant how did u get so fat , ur too fat too scan as I can't see the heart very well, I started to cry she was pushing so hard , then my little girl asked if I was having a boy or girl and she turned to her and said if mummy was not so huge, I cud tell u , my husband lost it and walked out , he was so angry he demanded to see the head of unit , I of course was devasted , sobbing I never went back for any of my scans due to the mortification,
Your baby's don't seem to me to be particularly low birth weights , i think sometimes these ppl think they know what's best for you , obviously in an ideal world we would all be thinner , but I know it's not that easy , make a complaint hun and really don't let some mindless Moran ruin ur preganancy I wish I hadn't , I spent the whole time worry about my baby because I couldn't do the scans

Are you serious?! That's awful!!! That's just not appropriate. I really hope this woman got at least some sort of warning or something I feel almost lucky that so far I've been treated like a normal human being when at appointments (I'm 21st in weight). Hopefully the sonographer at my 20 week scan will be just as kind as the others.

I'm really sorry this happened to you though... some people need to learn respect.

 

[BunnyN]

We did most of our scans privately and the did suggest I come back closer to 22 weeks instead of 20 weeks because baby would be above my belly button and it would be easier to see. He was very nice about it and mostly worried about us not getting great pictures. He was so tactfull I had to explain to OH what he was saying. It didnt help that the placenta was at the front too.