Really upset with my ds atm

[annanouska]

He's 27 months, epilepsy (controlled), spd, disordered speech. He doesn't speak masses but says daddy, never mummy! He is obsessed with his dad and loves him loads, he does 2 days nursery I do the rest, appointments, days out, washing cooking etc. I do everything for him but he just wants daddy.

The hardest bit is his violence to me, today he has pulled my hair to the point my head is dragged down then gone to bite my face. I put my arm p to protect me and ive got 5 horrific bites on my arm, I've got an ice pack bandaged on right now as its agony.

I'm just so upset with it all right now. I've tried my best I do my best eg he seems to hate me.

I hoe sebody in here can just understand how I feel, I know the main board will go off on a lecture about about discipline and it tolerating this. I ignore him when it happens as if I say no etc he laughs and does it more. I don't smack, he can't u der stand time out etc x

 

[Lief]

Is his epilepsy controlled by keppra by any chance?
I'm not sure what to say about dealing with your son, I don't think its as simple as just using discipline, your sons medical conditions could be causing his behavioural problems.

 

[annanouska]

He's no tegretol which has calmed him massively! I really feel he is on the spectrum but he passed the ADOS. This was all because I set the sand timer showed him its nappy change time and he disagreed

 

[Lief]

I used to be on keppra and found it affected me in a very bad way, made me quite aggreessive and I hated everything and everyone. I was them switched to topamax, that was much better for me. My sister was the opposige way around, topamax affected her badly and she's on keppra now. Epilepsy drugs affect everybody differently, I think its definitely worth asking your sons doctor about the behavioural changes to see what they think. I also see your son has a spee h disorder, maybe he's really frustrated that he can't get his point across how he wants to? Does he sign?

We usually take our frustrations out on those we love, I dont think your son hates you he might just feel because he knows you love him so much he can get away with more.

My sisters friends son passed the ADOS when he was young and has gone on to be diagnosed now that hes older.

 

[Vampire Mom]

Hannelore got VERY aggressive and out of sorts on Tegretol. Wound up doing an EEG and she started a fit and it was caught that she was seizing during the fits.

Still have massive hissy fits, but those are more because she's 2 1/2. But she's not launching herself at me to bite and claw, so it's an improvement. She does have pretty impressive tantrums when she can't express herself right.

 

[RachA]

I wouldn't definitely agree that children take their frustrations out of those they love. It's a sign they are comfortable with you.
Obviously that doesn't help what he's doing.
I don't know about the epilepsy meds but I would ask if it could be those that are affecting him.

It's hard trying to discipline children who don't understand. Esther will laugh if I tell her off for hurting and will do it all the more. Different things work on her at different times. Sometimes distracting her works, sometimes I have to just hold her tightly until she calms down enough for me to talk to her (if I don't hold her anything and everything in reach gets picked up and thrown), sometimes I am able to say firmly 'no we don't hurt...' And she listens. So much trial and error really. I do think they can be disciplined I just think you have to find a way your child can relate to.

 

[annanouska]

I don't think its his medication he was like this months before starting the drugs if anything he is much less violent and calmer now he is on the drugs!

He genuinely doesn't seem to understand pain and emotion that's he hurting me or I'm cross etc. I do try distraction and I deff think holding until calms down is worth a try.

I just get so fed up sometimes that I'm tying so hard for him and he just seems to always hate me. I know he doesn't it just seems that way at times x

 

[Vampire Mom]

Look up Parenting That Heals website/blog. Christie is very helpful I've found. She's dealing with traumatic adoptions, but I've found her methods to help Hannelore when she has major breakdowns because she can't communicate well enough yet.