Really worried about OH's nephew - advice please

[Sparky0207]

Just need a bit of advice as im really concerned about OH's nephew. I've never got on with my OH's brothers girlfriend and she has always tried to compete against me so when I announced I was pregnant, it was no suprise that she got pregnant too.
But now its gone a bit ott and im getting very concerned about her little boy. He was 3 weeks early and has always been quite small. When I put my little girl on hungry milk at 3 months (on HV advice), she put him on hungry milk - when he was just 3 weeks old and only just taking 4oz bottles. Now that we have moved our little one on to solids (again on HV advice) she has started feeding him solids but hes only 11 weeks old and still quite small. She said its to try and make him sleep through the night but he goes from 10 til 6 already which I think is great for an 11 week old!
She has never ever taken him to be weighed and he has only seen the HV twice - once when he was 3 days old and once when he was a week old, every other time she has had an appointment she has missed it and not bothered to book another one.
She goes out every single weekend and just gives him to anyone who'll have him overnight for her to go out. She pays no attention to him whatsover - we spent 5 hours there the other day and in that time I had to change him and feed him twice as she clearly wasnt bothered that he needed seeing to. His bum is sore and she often leaves him to cry. Also she will make up 3 bottles before she takes him to bed and just leave them on the side to save her going downstairs in the night. She often lies in til the afternoon and just leaves him in his cot to cry. So many people have spoken to her about it but she is not taking notice and im really concerned. OH's brother is unaware of all this as he works long hours and she always makes out that she got up at the crack of dawn and has had a hard busy day. I want to help for the babys sake but dont know where to start

 

[ryder]

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have a childrens aid or something?

 

[bev309]

If you don't want social services involved, could you perhaps talk to your OH & get him to have a word with his brother & tell him what you have seen? If that didn't work then I would have to inform someone, I can see it would be hard as it is family, but that poor baby needs help!

 

[xJG30]

I'd be ringing social services.. that's not on at all.
If not that, then speak to the father.. they can't carry on like that.

 

[passengerrach]

try telling the babys dad whats going on say u dont want to pry but ur getting very worried about the child

 

[ColtonsMom]

I agree with everyone else. Try telling the babies dad, if that doesn't work I would call social services, immediately.

 

[eclipse]

Oh that poor baby!!! Send him my way!! Oh wait....I would also talk to dad and make him aware, and if he isn't responsive, get Social Services involved STAT before irreparable harm happens to the baby because of her neglect. A little one needs his mommy and if she isn't willing to be one, they need to find someone who will. Sorry to be harsh, but I cannot deal with this stuff very well after some of the stuff I've seen in the ER.

 

[charlie07]

OMG!!! That's shocking. Agree with everyone, get through to the dad and hopefully he can get through to the mum. keep an eye on the situation, but I know it would be killing me to do just that!! Oh she needs a swift boot up the behind!

 

[jax]

Reading your post makes me want to cry - there are so many people out there who long for a baby and without sounding too harsh, it seems that she just doesnt give a toss. I agree with all the other posters, I would talk to your OH and see what happens and if nothing changes then I would speak to your health visitor - perhaps they can make an appointment with her at her house? If all else fails call social services

 

[jen1604]

Oh that poor baby.I would be a bit tempted to just take him away and keep him.But I realise you cant really do that.So I agree with everyone else.Talk to the dad and if nothing is done by him ring social services.x

 

[AppleBlossom]

Poor baby I would definately tell the baby's dad. And I remember her being a pain in the arse when you were both pregnant!

 

[Sparky0207]

Thanks all.
I have spoken to OH and he is going to speak with his bro. A few people have tried before but his bro is soooo defensive of her and because the family dont get on with her (im sure you can all see why), he thinks we are just trying to split them up.
I dont want to get SS involved but if he doesnt respond then ive got no choice.
She has been complaining that the baby has got colic all the time and all he ever does is scream. Poor little thing has probably got a nasty tummy from the food shes trying to feed him too soon and the bottles shes feeding him that have been sat on the side for hours.
I want to bring him home and adopt him. Poor little thing deserves so much better. I feel partly to blame as im convinced she only got pregnant because I was. Poor baby didnt ask to be born

 

[alloyd519]

I think you should start out by talking to your OH and see if he'll talk to his brother, that way it's coming from his family and you don't look bad. If that doesn't work i'd say you might have to get social services involved, that poor child

 

[Chel]

Thats just awful!

The dad needs to pull his finger out also, unless he's away in the army or something, theres no amount of hours he can be working that gets him off the hook for also being negligent. If she's not doing the right thing by their son, he's the babies next defense.

I'm supprised the poor little thing isn't really sick - giving him bottles that have been left out! Thats disgusting! And giving him solids at 11 weeks is totally insane.

If your not sure what to do, maybe just call SS and just tell them about the situation first and find out what they recommend you do and what they would do if you make a formal complaint. And then maybe give that information to her or to your OH's brother - so they know what their legal rights and responsibilities are as parents.

 

[xHx]

Where are the grandparents? Can they not say anything? x