Refusing to poo on the potty or toilet

[Amanda]

We started potty training a couple of weeks ago, and it has gone soooo well! Charlie is now completely dry and is in pants. He has also had 4 dry nights in the past week, I'm so proud of my big boy!

But, he just won't poo on the potty, or on the toilet. He starts with the 'poo face' so we tell him to sit on the potty, and he then gets all upset "My not want wee wee" is all we get, and he even starts crying. If we try and physically pick him up to put him on the potty, he gets hysterical!

On Saturday, he hadn't been since Thursday (when he did it in his pants at nursery - they have the same thing happening there), and he was getting to the stage where he was in pain. He kept saying his tummy and his bottom were sore. But as soon as he would start to poo, and we'd try to get him on the potty, he's stop. He got so miserable with the pain that mid-afternoon, I took his trousers off, left him in his pants, and just let him do it. He stood there and just pushed it out into this pants, and was fine after we cleaned him up.

I mentioned it to the MIL yesterday and she said that DH was the same. He was dry by 3, but took until the age of 4 before he would poo on the toilet! He used to ask for a nappy, then he'd have a poo once he had that on. I don't want to go down that route, so does anyone have any other advise????

 

[mrso]

My son is about the same age and doing the same thing. We actualy took a weeks break from potty training. I didnt want to get him all frustrated and make the problem worse. That really helped a lot. He only poo's on the toilet a few times a week but potty's most of the time.

I have found it is very exhausting. Keep up the good work.

 

[mrso]

I also use a reward system... That has really helped a lot.

 

[Amanda]

Thanks hun. I've actually been and bought him a toddler seat for the downstairs loo and step today with Thomas the Tank engine on, so I'm hoping that if we explain to him that it is so he can poo on the big toilet, it might help.

 

[lozzy21]

hi, most kids when first start potty training dont like to poo in the potty or toilet, its somethng to do with it just falling and not squidging around their bum lol ( i used to work in a nursery). Forcing him to do a poo on the loo/potty could make him scared of it and go back over and not want to do a wee ether. One thing would be to use a pull-up when he needs a poo and not make a big deal if he poo's in his pull up,but make a big deal when he uses the potty and he should eventualy just go in the potty in his own time.
Hope this is some help.

 

[Amanda]

Thanks Lozzy.

I just felt that I needed to get him to stop this soon as one of the women at nursery were a bit 'off' with me the first time he had a 'poo accident'. I've been to pick him up today and it was a different woman (they do different shifts), and she said he'd started to poo, she'd asked him if he wanted to go toilet and he'd said No, so she just left him to do it in his pants, then changed him after. She said that loads of kids start off this way, and asked me to just take some pull-ups in. I feel so much better now having spoken to her today.

 

[emma_27]

My son did this also its really common. I got round it in a few weeks i just watched for when he needed a poo and stripped his bottom half off and he wouldnt poo on the floor so in the end he got the message i really rewarded him when he did his first poo in the potty and he quickly got the hang of it. Good luck with it

 

[Tilly]

Bethanie has put knickers on the other day and seemed to like the idea of pulling them down, but then she panics because the knickers hold her legs together slightly, so she won't sit on the potty. If I do convince her to sit on the potty, she won't actually do anything.. she gets off and starts jumping around saying "mummy mummy no mummy" and crying. She also gets hysterical if you try to "encourage" by lifting her onto the potty.

Im no expert as I am only just thinking about it myself, but I think pull ups and fun rewarding charts/stickers sounds like your best option!

Good luck with it