Registering My Little One..

[MBGibbs]

Hello ladies
I very recently had my little boy and it is wonderful, I love being a mummy.
The thing is, I need to register him, and I don't know wether to register the baby with my surname or his daddy's?
We are engaged and in love but I am sure as many of you will understand, there are rough patches.
I almost feel like giving him OHs name is like giving him up slightly? I feel really sensitive about the thought of him having a different name to mine..
OH would go through the roof if he knew I was even questioning it..
What do you ladies think? What did you do?
Something to be thought about is the fact that after we marry I could always change his name to OHs.. But if I give it to him now and we don't marry I can't change it back to mine..

 

[Ashleii15]

I have a 2 year old son that has his father's last name, and I am 10 weeks pregnant and this baby will have his last name as well. We are also engaged, been together for 3+ years.
If I were you and in your situation/your feelings, I would give your child your last name, I wish you luck

 

[MummyMana]

I'd give him the father's surname, it's the traditional thing to do and a special bond between father and baby. Fathers don't get to give birth, carry the baby, breastfeed and be with the baby 24/7 so the baby gets their name it doesn't matter whether you marry or break up, I mean even if you did break up one day it's not like the baby's dad is suddenly gonna be someone else!

 

[ClairAye]

Firstly congratulations!

Both of our kids have OH's name, we fell pregnant right at the start of our relationship with our son, when he was born we'd been together nine months and LO still got his name, I think it's just the traditional thing to do. Tbh I hate not having the same last name as my children but I just couldn't give them my name!

 

[x__amour]

Both my children have DH's last name. We were engaged when DD was born but have been married for a few years now.

 

[Jennaxo]

Caleb has my surname, I'd decided this before me and FOB split up, I wanted him to have my name incase anything ever went wrong, I always said if we ever got married that I would change his name like I would mine buy for the time being he would have my name because it was just easier. Lucky I did too. But it's your choice a lot of people give then their fathers name because it is traditional.

 

[Cheyby]

I personally want to give my baby OHs surname... for quite a few reasons. But I know if I didn't have his support and if I knew he wouldn't play a role in the babys life, I'd give the baby my surname. Mainly because I feel like it would be more convenient. I'm not quite sure if I ever see OH and I getting married but if we ever do, it wouldn't be like we both have one surname and then our baby has another.

I don't think that it's "giving him up" in any way at all because regardless of whether you get married or not, he'll always be the baby's father. Good luck though

 

[MBGibbs]

Do any of you know wether it changes my/his rights over the baby if I do give him his name?

 

[x__amour]

Here in the US if you are not married, your FOB has to acknowledge paternity to be on the birth certificate which leads to equal rights. If they are not on the birth certificate, they have no set rights unless they go through the legal system.

Not sure how it works where you live.

 

[AP]

No, a surname is a just a name, you could even make up his surname but the fathers rights would not change, it's still his child.

I personally gave my baby my name at last minute. Didn't care what OH thought at the time. We got married a year later and it was a very special day for the three of us. It's easier to change to his than to change to yours ykwim.

Often people think it's traditional but it was traditional to be married before children therefore it went without saying the child would have the fathers surname, as you would too.

I know how you feel about that "giving up" thing. Times have changed , why should a fathers surname have priority over the mothers? I spent my pregnancy saying I'd give my baby OHs surname, looking back I don't even have a reason why. Did I love him? Of course! But I didn't want to give in to common expectations in the end.

 

[MummyMana]

Do any of you know wether it changes my/his rights over the baby if I do give him his name?

A name has no baring on rental rights, you could even give him your mother in laws surname if you wanted

I think you should probably talk to the father about this, he will probably feel quite pushed out if you decide to give the baby your name and that's not what he wants, I mean fathers are pretty pushed out as it is bless them.

For me it was never a question, even if me and OH weren't together she'd have been Harris because she is a Harris, plain and simple. Only reason I wouldn't have would have been if he was a complete and utter nasty and disappeared off the face of the planet when we found out we were expecting.

 

[mayb_baby]

I have a 3 year old son and he has his dads last name, I am 22 weeks pregnant with another little boy and he will have his dads last name as well. We just got engaged on Christmas day and have been together for nearly 8years.

Personally I believe regardless of my FOBs position in my life, I would give my LO his fathers last name as he will always be his dad. My dad was/is a deadbeat mum gave me his surname as he is my dad and I always have that connection to his family who are lovely. If you are engaged and in love do you think he would try and take your baby? You are the mother and you will always have rights over your son regardless of surname. xx

 

[littlefishygg]

To give this from your sons potential future point of view, I have my biofathers surname (him and my mother broke up when I was about 1 and a half years old) she then remarried and I have no contact with my father so I am the only one I know with my surname. But this isn't something I dislike, I just don't really have any emotional attachment to the name, but it did frustrate my mum when I was in school and teachers called her mrs mysurname assuming she had the same name. If I were you and trying planning on marrying the father I would stick with his name, but the fact that you are questioning it suggests to me that you are questioning that relationship so I would go with your name and then change when you get married. Your sons name changing at that time would be a nice symbolism of you all becoming a 'proper' family.

 

[MBGibbs]

Littlefishygg, you're from Portsmouth, I'm from Southampton
Small world! Thank you for your advice

 

[Mummafrog]

For me when it comes to names, tradition is not an important thing. For me it's about whether it sounds nice and the family that it connects a person to. Me and my OH aren't married (yet, might be soon! ) but I want the baby to have his surname because I actually don't like mine, he doesn't mind which name the baby has hehe but I like his because it sounds nicer and also his whole family have it whereas mine have always got divorced and remarried and have lots of different names so I don't think my name really ties me to anything.

As far as legal rights go for the child, the name can be whatever you choose and then here in the UK if you're unmarried then you need to both be present at the registration and sign the birth certificate and then you have equal parental rights, if you are married only one of you has to sign and register baby.