resistance from family?

[earthquake]

Hi just wondering if anyone has gone through a similar thing and how they coped withh it. My midwife team are really on board with a homebirth. They were the ones that bought the idea up at my booking visit and Mt husband has the view that if the NHS are okay with it them its safe and he knows its what I've always wanted. We told his family and they al agree with us that while I stay low risk a home birth is a great idea, even his sister who is a nurse are really supportive. However my sister had her first child a year age and the baby had the cord stuck round her hand and had to have ventouse delivery.because of this all my family including my parents have called me selfish and that I'm only thinking of myself. I'm still adamant that I want a homebirth but I never know what today to them. They won't accept my evidence that I present to them and its starting to put doubts in my mind that I don't want there. I know that a homebirth is what's best for me, my husband and my baby but his do I convince my family of that?

 

[lozzy21]

If they wont be convinced dont try, you will only start to doubt yourself. Its your baby and your birth and as long as your OH and MW are happy then thats all that matters.

 

[billy2mm]

you dont convince them hun. if you want a hb then do it! dont bother speaking to them at all about it in that case.

 

[Mervs Mum]

WTS! So long as you are happy and your MWs and OH are on board too then you really dont need to waste any more energy on it! You've made an informed decision and that's that!

 

[freckleonear]

Agree with the others. You've made your own decision, there's no need to convince them. My mum was very worried about me having a home birth, probably partly because her first baby was stillborn. We just told her that we were planning a home birth and then didn't enter into any discussion. Just let them know it's happening and it's not up for debate.

 

[Jenniflower]

I just told my mom for the first time last night that we're planning a homebirth. I had to preface it by saying please don't say anything negative about this, we've made the decision and aren't changing our minds. She was quiet for a bit then said "Now you know you can't get an epidural at home right?" Yeeessss moooommm.

In the end she was fine with it, merely because I was confident about all her questions and she finally said "Well if it's what you want, then that's fine" I'd say that's quite a positive experience on my end.

 

[Bournefree]

It's a crazy culture isn't it!

I mean, it's only been about 40 years since the tide has been turned and hospital birth has become the place where the majority of women give birth. Do they really think that evolution has developed in that time to make female human beings unable to birth normally without intervention? You might find more support from your grandparents - as for them it would have been much more frequent experience.

But birth has become sooo medicallised in the "developed" countries, that some Dr's think that women simply can't cope with labour and birth without them>¬? Sadder still is that other women are influenced by a media portrayal of birth being some type of emergency, that if it hadn't been for the hospital they or their babies might have died!!!! .... and they hold that opinion in the face of all evidence that Home birth is just as safe as a hospital birth and there is some data that suggests it is SAFER as the slippery slope of intervention had been prevented in hospital, most of these women might have experiance a normal labour and birth. Why won't they listen?! However, we know better than to listen to hearsay. Those of us who question why nearly a third (or more in some areas - 50% in New York!), of women who are having their labours in hospital are delivered (not born) by c-section! They are certainly not ALL physologically abnormal! But perhaps they were all scared, tence, put under time constraints and offered more monitoring and interventions. That is the tragedy of our hospital systems.

There is little you can do about someone who wants to be ignorant of the facts, but perhaps you could ask them not to speak about your pregnancy or labour and birth, when they have little authority on the subject, and if they wish to be a part of it, they should be supportive!
xXx

 

[earthquake]

hey all thanks for your help. i've just decided that it's not up to them. I keep emailing my dad various medical studies regarding the safety of homebirth and things such as how one intervention leads to another as hes very rational and will read these and form his own opinion (and hopefully influence my mum). going shopping with both my mum and sister and if they start harassing me which is pretty much what they do im just gonna say something about the dangers of smoking during pregnancy which they both did and i didnt feel the need to shout at them. mean i know but it will shut them up.
thanks for making me feel so much more positive and assured of my decision