subaru555
IVF Mar '13
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- Jul 16, 2009
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Saturday 16th October 2010 Induction of Labour (41 weeks 1 day)- Went to hospital to get monitored as Roo wasn't moving so much, they said I'd be induced that night even thought everything seemed fine. I was scared. I had told the midwife I wouldn't be induced for being over my dates at my appointment 3 days prior and I had a strict natural birth plan. I had a feeling something was going wrong, a horrible feeling. So I agreed to be induced and went home to get my bag at 6PM. We were told not to hurry back as they wanted me to be ready to labour. We arrived back at 9PM and were shown to my bed on the ward and DH was sent home while I awaited the gel. I was then told that I would not be getting induced that night because they were understaffed and I was so angry due to my phobia of hospitals and being stressed. I was assured the gel would be done at 9am.
Sunday 17th October 2010 Actual Induction took place (41 weeks 2 days)
8AM - I had my breakfast
2PM - DH arrived at visiting time. My mum then came in at 3. She had to go and speak to the head midwife because I was crying due to waiting and waiting and it was getting too much for me because I was worried something was wrong with the baby. They kept messing me about and actually said at one point oh we're really busy you might not be getting induced today.
4.40PM - Gel inserted finally and I had my dinner and sat and ate a whole 99p size bar of Galaxy! I was happy something had been done!
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA170001.jpg
8PM - All of a sudden - Contractions started, hard and fast. I tried the birthing ball and eventually started to get worried because the pain was so intense I was starting to moan through them. -Bearing in mind I'm in a room with 4 other women in their beds with their curtains open (mines were shut) and they were watching the tv, chatting!
1030PM - I was in the bath in the ward/ still not down in the labour ward and at this point I was STILL waiting on paracetomol as they had forgot about me. I got in the bath and tried to relax through the contractions - I have a very clear memory of crying to DH and saying "I need something, even paracetomol, I need something" and he kept having to go out and ask when someone was going to get it for me - to be fobbed off with "soon". He ran the shower down my back which did actually help a lot. My waters broke with like a big bang - they made the bath shudder and DH felt the bath thump. DH was going ballistic as they kept ignoring him and saying they'd be along shortly. It got to the point where he helped me out the bath - the midwife didn't even help and I was lying on the bathroom floor naked crying and rolling in agony and she said oh I'll need to check you before we let you down to labour ward and I was shouting well do it! And she went oh yeah you're 4cm you can go now. We then had to wait for someone to come up from labour ward with a wheelchair to take me down and it felt like and hour, it got the point where DH picked me up off the floor, wrapped me up and sat me on the wheelchair saying he was taking me down himself - at that point the midwife came round the corner and she said I'm here to take you down and off we went. I was in absolute agony and when I finally got down to the labour ward I thought I was dying.
The clock on the ward which I'd passed several times since the Saturday had stopped at 11:25 and when I arrived on the bed in the labour ward it was exactly 11:25PM. It was strange.
Diamorphine injected - helped ease the pain a lot, but then the contractions were going off the scale and I needed an epidural. The epidural took 4 attempts to get in and 50 minutes. Then it didn't work and only took the edge off the pain. I was one of the 2 out of 20 or 1 in 10 that it doesn't work for!
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180009.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180016.jpg
5am - fully dilated and started to push, I heard his heartbeat drop and somewhere in me found the energy to whisk up in blind panic and look at the monitor beside me which through my blurry gas and air vision appeared to be about 81 bpm, I then said is he okay? whats wrong? whys his heart rate dropping - help him! So they tried with all their might with two hands inside to stretch me as I was pushing - yeah...
but I seen the other midwives face and she was looking at the other one shaking her head with eyes that were saying no chance, she then said look if we don't cut you he is really going to get into difficulty - more than he already is and straight away I said just cut me please just cut me quick - she was so nice as I remember her clearly saying "You don't want to be cut, if you're really sure that this is the right decision for you then I'll do it" and I was crying out please cut me and get him out. I needed episiotomy as he got stuck. I pushed so so so hard it was like something you can never explain, like you're trying to push from your stomach down, off of your body? Another midwife entered the room - at this point there were 3 midwives trying to get him out and pulling. Not only his head got stuck, but his shoulder got stuck too, and he had the cord wrapped round them so they had to pull that over his head then try and get his shoulder out of my pelvis. - Which has caused the damage. Thank god for my midwives, they were so amazing and really respected my birth plan and understood everything that was happening was not what I wanted and tried to do everything to avoid it. They kept DH really calm and happy go lucky even when things were hard for him.
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180013.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180012.jpg
0600 hours on the 18th of October 2010 - Birthday - 10lbs 11.5 oz
Rhuaraidh was born, placed on my tummy for two seconds then taken away as he couldn't breathe and was going blue - I've never been so terrified in my life!!! He was taken straight up to IC.Neonatal and I was stitched up and given a bed bath by a nurse. I got DH to take a lot of pictures throughout the labour as people say you forget about the labour or how bad things were etc but I wanted to remember my labour, I'd waited for this day for what felt like my whole life and it was finally here, albeit excruciatingly painful but it still was a memory of when my Son was coming into the world. I then needed the jag which I also didn't want, to expel the placenta - he wasn't feeding on me so it would've taken forever and the blood was running out of the episiotomy into a bucket beneath me on the floor!! They told me that the only reason he came out was because of my efforts and that if I hadn't tried as hard as I did then he wouldn't have maybe even been here because it was dangerous the way he was - as he was so big AND back to back.
920am
We got to go to ICU to see him properly for the first time and he was in an incubator. It was such a strange feeling to touch his skin, skin that I'd made and grown in my tummy. I just loved him so much straight away. I remember feeling "this is all wrong, this is not how it was supposed to be, you shouldn't be in there, you should be with me in my arms, feeding." "we were supposed to have an hour alone in the delivery room where you were on my skin and now you're in there, do you even know I'm your mum? do you feel safe? what if everythings not okay?"
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180021.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180028.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180024.jpg
245pm
I then went up to the ward and got back to see him, when I got to hold him for the first time. He was all wires and it was scary to hold him, he was so heavy but it just felt right and I thought "you're mine, I love you so much" The nurse then came over and said his x-ray came back fine but they thought he'd blown a hole in his lung from the delivery when he came out. That was big words to hear. It was like my body caved in and my lungs collapsed - such an intense hurt inside. But he was okay and we had to focus that his drips would be turned off hopefully and that he didn't have an infection. I got moved to my own room that night so I didn't need to listen to all the crying babies, while I spent the night alone.
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180033.jpg
Day 2
I went down at 830 am to feed him and was told hopefully he would be able to come up to be with me in the ward at 1pm - what an amazing feeling.
1130am
The door knocked and the midwife said, "Is someone ready for a baby?" in a happy voice. My heart jumped and she brought him in. I had my baby with me!!
I was told I'd get to go home upon the results of Roo's blood test to check for infection as he was still getting antibiotics via his hand every 12 hours. If it was negative then we'd get to go home. But then as usual results were delayed. They forgot I was in a room on my own and missed me on the pain relief and breakfast rounds. So I was in agony and I was trying to breast feed when I was totally starving!
We then spent the night trying to establish breastfeeding, he was latching on fine and midwife helped check everything was going fine but after 40 minutes on the breast he would drop off crying and this went on for hours and hours - he fed about every hour for the whole day, he was so hungry. Eventually at midnight I broke down and DH persuaded me over the phone to ask for a bottle - which he took nearly 2oz in 7 minutes, my poor baby was so hungry. He then slept for 3 hours after the bottle. He must've needed it so bad.
4 am - I went and asked for paracetomol, was told to go back to bed and someone would bring it up.
630am - went and reminded them I'd been waiting since 4am for paracetomol and I was really really sore now and they said oh someone must've forgot. Then gave me it there and then.
Day 3
I had to wait all day for the blood results and we never even got them, still getting stressed from breastfeeding. Felt really lonely but enjoyed being able to hold Roo all day and watch him sleep in his bed. Was so tired and visiting hours were only 2-8 for DH which was nowhere near enough for support. I was moved onto the ward at 11PM (yes I know, what a time to be moved) just when I'd got Roo settled. Someone else without their baby needed the room, which was fair enough. I was much better on the ward and was in a room with one other girl as the 2 other beds were empty until the morning. It wasn't so stuffy and I was right next to the staff room for pain relief!
Day 4
7am - the anitbiotics lady came in and said good news he's not got an infection so he can have his cannula out
I gave Roo his first bath - the hospital were shocked I wanted to do it myself, they kept saying oh it's okay we'll just take him away and bath him for you. I was so shocked at them.
10am - Midwife came to do "mum check-out" checks. She only got half way through and someone asked her to go and do something so she left the notes said she'd be back in a minute and never came back.
I was adamant I was going home because the treatment I was getting was ridiculous. I have been put off having another baby because of the way they treated me. I have never felt so alone, scared, in pain (when I could've had pain relief - any time I asked I had to wait at least 2-3 hours for it) Now that I knew Roo was okay, we were just waiting on my notes. We were told we were waiting for a paediatric test on Roo and the doctors would be round at about 2pm.
5pm - After several questions of what was happening throughout the day, we finally got a midwife come round to do my checks at 5pm to which she said oh I'll find out about your babies checks.
6pm - She appeared at the curtain and said "you're free to go, the checks were done in neonatal days ago". So we'd been in all day for no reason!
630pm
We were finally home.
The journey was complete.. after all these years, I, Me, had a baby, home. And he is mine. My heart just melts. The love is unbelievable.
Sunday 17th October 2010 Actual Induction took place (41 weeks 2 days)
8AM - I had my breakfast
2PM - DH arrived at visiting time. My mum then came in at 3. She had to go and speak to the head midwife because I was crying due to waiting and waiting and it was getting too much for me because I was worried something was wrong with the baby. They kept messing me about and actually said at one point oh we're really busy you might not be getting induced today.
4.40PM - Gel inserted finally and I had my dinner and sat and ate a whole 99p size bar of Galaxy! I was happy something had been done!
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA170001.jpg
8PM - All of a sudden - Contractions started, hard and fast. I tried the birthing ball and eventually started to get worried because the pain was so intense I was starting to moan through them. -Bearing in mind I'm in a room with 4 other women in their beds with their curtains open (mines were shut) and they were watching the tv, chatting!
1030PM - I was in the bath in the ward/ still not down in the labour ward and at this point I was STILL waiting on paracetomol as they had forgot about me. I got in the bath and tried to relax through the contractions - I have a very clear memory of crying to DH and saying "I need something, even paracetomol, I need something" and he kept having to go out and ask when someone was going to get it for me - to be fobbed off with "soon". He ran the shower down my back which did actually help a lot. My waters broke with like a big bang - they made the bath shudder and DH felt the bath thump. DH was going ballistic as they kept ignoring him and saying they'd be along shortly. It got to the point where he helped me out the bath - the midwife didn't even help and I was lying on the bathroom floor naked crying and rolling in agony and she said oh I'll need to check you before we let you down to labour ward and I was shouting well do it! And she went oh yeah you're 4cm you can go now. We then had to wait for someone to come up from labour ward with a wheelchair to take me down and it felt like and hour, it got the point where DH picked me up off the floor, wrapped me up and sat me on the wheelchair saying he was taking me down himself - at that point the midwife came round the corner and she said I'm here to take you down and off we went. I was in absolute agony and when I finally got down to the labour ward I thought I was dying.
The clock on the ward which I'd passed several times since the Saturday had stopped at 11:25 and when I arrived on the bed in the labour ward it was exactly 11:25PM. It was strange.
Diamorphine injected - helped ease the pain a lot, but then the contractions were going off the scale and I needed an epidural. The epidural took 4 attempts to get in and 50 minutes. Then it didn't work and only took the edge off the pain. I was one of the 2 out of 20 or 1 in 10 that it doesn't work for!
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180009.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180016.jpg
5am - fully dilated and started to push, I heard his heartbeat drop and somewhere in me found the energy to whisk up in blind panic and look at the monitor beside me which through my blurry gas and air vision appeared to be about 81 bpm, I then said is he okay? whats wrong? whys his heart rate dropping - help him! So they tried with all their might with two hands inside to stretch me as I was pushing - yeah...
but I seen the other midwives face and she was looking at the other one shaking her head with eyes that were saying no chance, she then said look if we don't cut you he is really going to get into difficulty - more than he already is and straight away I said just cut me please just cut me quick - she was so nice as I remember her clearly saying "You don't want to be cut, if you're really sure that this is the right decision for you then I'll do it" and I was crying out please cut me and get him out. I needed episiotomy as he got stuck. I pushed so so so hard it was like something you can never explain, like you're trying to push from your stomach down, off of your body? Another midwife entered the room - at this point there were 3 midwives trying to get him out and pulling. Not only his head got stuck, but his shoulder got stuck too, and he had the cord wrapped round them so they had to pull that over his head then try and get his shoulder out of my pelvis. - Which has caused the damage. Thank god for my midwives, they were so amazing and really respected my birth plan and understood everything that was happening was not what I wanted and tried to do everything to avoid it. They kept DH really calm and happy go lucky even when things were hard for him.https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180013.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Baby%20related/Labour/PA180012.jpg
0600 hours on the 18th of October 2010 - Birthday - 10lbs 11.5 oz
Rhuaraidh was born, placed on my tummy for two seconds then taken away as he couldn't breathe and was going blue - I've never been so terrified in my life!!! He was taken straight up to IC.Neonatal and I was stitched up and given a bed bath by a nurse. I got DH to take a lot of pictures throughout the labour as people say you forget about the labour or how bad things were etc but I wanted to remember my labour, I'd waited for this day for what felt like my whole life and it was finally here, albeit excruciatingly painful but it still was a memory of when my Son was coming into the world. I then needed the jag which I also didn't want, to expel the placenta - he wasn't feeding on me so it would've taken forever and the blood was running out of the episiotomy into a bucket beneath me on the floor!! They told me that the only reason he came out was because of my efforts and that if I hadn't tried as hard as I did then he wouldn't have maybe even been here because it was dangerous the way he was - as he was so big AND back to back.
920am
We got to go to ICU to see him properly for the first time and he was in an incubator. It was such a strange feeling to touch his skin, skin that I'd made and grown in my tummy. I just loved him so much straight away. I remember feeling "this is all wrong, this is not how it was supposed to be, you shouldn't be in there, you should be with me in my arms, feeding." "we were supposed to have an hour alone in the delivery room where you were on my skin and now you're in there, do you even know I'm your mum? do you feel safe? what if everythings not okay?"
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180021.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180028.jpg
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180024.jpg
245pm
I then went up to the ward and got back to see him, when I got to hold him for the first time. He was all wires and it was scary to hold him, he was so heavy but it just felt right and I thought "you're mine, I love you so much" The nurse then came over and said his x-ray came back fine but they thought he'd blown a hole in his lung from the delivery when he came out. That was big words to hear. It was like my body caved in and my lungs collapsed - such an intense hurt inside. But he was okay and we had to focus that his drips would be turned off hopefully and that he didn't have an infection. I got moved to my own room that night so I didn't need to listen to all the crying babies, while I spent the night alone.
https://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm39/kaylz_555/Rhuraidh/PA180033.jpg
Day 2
I went down at 830 am to feed him and was told hopefully he would be able to come up to be with me in the ward at 1pm - what an amazing feeling.
1130am
The door knocked and the midwife said, "Is someone ready for a baby?" in a happy voice. My heart jumped and she brought him in. I had my baby with me!!
I was told I'd get to go home upon the results of Roo's blood test to check for infection as he was still getting antibiotics via his hand every 12 hours. If it was negative then we'd get to go home. But then as usual results were delayed. They forgot I was in a room on my own and missed me on the pain relief and breakfast rounds. So I was in agony and I was trying to breast feed when I was totally starving!
We then spent the night trying to establish breastfeeding, he was latching on fine and midwife helped check everything was going fine but after 40 minutes on the breast he would drop off crying and this went on for hours and hours - he fed about every hour for the whole day, he was so hungry. Eventually at midnight I broke down and DH persuaded me over the phone to ask for a bottle - which he took nearly 2oz in 7 minutes, my poor baby was so hungry. He then slept for 3 hours after the bottle. He must've needed it so bad.
4 am - I went and asked for paracetomol, was told to go back to bed and someone would bring it up.
630am - went and reminded them I'd been waiting since 4am for paracetomol and I was really really sore now and they said oh someone must've forgot. Then gave me it there and then.
Day 3
I had to wait all day for the blood results and we never even got them, still getting stressed from breastfeeding. Felt really lonely but enjoyed being able to hold Roo all day and watch him sleep in his bed. Was so tired and visiting hours were only 2-8 for DH which was nowhere near enough for support. I was moved onto the ward at 11PM (yes I know, what a time to be moved) just when I'd got Roo settled. Someone else without their baby needed the room, which was fair enough. I was much better on the ward and was in a room with one other girl as the 2 other beds were empty until the morning. It wasn't so stuffy and I was right next to the staff room for pain relief!
Day 4
7am - the anitbiotics lady came in and said good news he's not got an infection so he can have his cannula out
I gave Roo his first bath - the hospital were shocked I wanted to do it myself, they kept saying oh it's okay we'll just take him away and bath him for you. I was so shocked at them. 10am - Midwife came to do "mum check-out" checks. She only got half way through and someone asked her to go and do something so she left the notes said she'd be back in a minute and never came back.
I was adamant I was going home because the treatment I was getting was ridiculous. I have been put off having another baby because of the way they treated me. I have never felt so alone, scared, in pain (when I could've had pain relief - any time I asked I had to wait at least 2-3 hours for it) Now that I knew Roo was okay, we were just waiting on my notes. We were told we were waiting for a paediatric test on Roo and the doctors would be round at about 2pm.
5pm - After several questions of what was happening throughout the day, we finally got a midwife come round to do my checks at 5pm to which she said oh I'll find out about your babies checks.
6pm - She appeared at the curtain and said "you're free to go, the checks were done in neonatal days ago". So we'd been in all day for no reason!
630pm
We were finally home.
The journey was complete.. after all these years, I, Me, had a baby, home. And he is mine. My heart just melts. The love is unbelievable.
for the terrible way they treated you! 
