Sadly, joining you here soon.

[badunkadunk13]

Hello everyone. I'm currently just over 22 weeks pregnant with my 4th pregnancy. My first two resulted in miscarriages and my third a beautiful baby boy (who is now 2 1/2 years old). On Wednesday, I saw a specialist that I had been recommended to after my 20 week scan (I had to wait 3 weeks for the appointment). We were told that our little girl has hydrocephalus/ventriculomegaly and Spina Bifida. She will likely be paralysed from the waist down and incontinent her entire life. Because of the amount of fluid that has built up in her brain, she WILL have some sort of brain damage and likely it will be quite severe. Unless something completely miraculous happens at our follow-up on Monday, we've made the gut-wrenching decision to terminate this pregnancy. Firstly and foremost, it wouldn't be fair to her (Christina Paige). She'd have to be put through many, many painful and major surgeries beginning not even 24 hours after her birth. These would continue all her life. On top of that, her quality of life would be low, as her brain damage could go as far as to place her in a near vegetative state. It wouldn't be fair to our son. We feel that we'd be making a decision when he's 2 1/2 years old for him to be a lifelong caretaker for her. When my husband and I eventually pass on, he'll have to take care of her. Lastly, we feel it would be selfish of us to keep her simply because we feel she's OURS and we don't want to go through the pain of termination. We think what we're doing is going to be best for our family and best for our daughter. So that's my story. We're unsure of when this procedure will take place, and it's still not 100% that it will...but it is 99.9% sure.

Here's to hoping that my past experiences and this current one will allow me to be able to offer sound advice and a loving ear to those that need it. I know I'm going to be needing some advice and some ears here in the near future. Even though we're at peace that we've made the right decision, it's still going to hurt like hell to let her go.

 

[Tiff]

You never have to explain your reasons for wanting to terminate the pregnancy, hun. It's a tough decision and while it's easy for other people to point fingers and preach, it's a different story when you are the one having to live with the consequences.

So sorry to hear that it had to be like this. I used to do respite work with a girl who had hydrocephalus - but she didn't have any brain damage. I haven't been in your situation, but just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

 

[DiddyDons]

I am so sorry babe Im thinking of you and always here if you need me. Theres a forum that I post frequently on for stillbirths, neo natal losses, late m/c's and TFMR....just letting you know incase you want to talk to others that are sadly in the same situation. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[babytots]

hunni i just saw this i'm half asleep (but cant actually sleep) so only just noticed it.

hunni it sounds like you are doing whats best for you and your family and you didnt need to explain your reasons as to why you are giving your baby angel wings. i'm so so sorry you are facing this hunni. it sounds like christina paige has the same problems as what jessica had (though i wont know til next month her proper diganosis) my heart goes out to you hunni it really does i'm so shocked that this is happening to yet another lovely sept-embryo.

thinking of you and your family at this diffcult time. x

 

[babytots]

I am so sorry babe Im thinking of you and always here if you need me. Theres a forum that I post frequently on for stillbirths, neo natal losses, late m/c's and TFMR....just letting you know incase you want to talk to others that are sadly in the same situation. Sending you lots of hugs

i use this one too hunni and it helps a great deal though its so so sad that there are so many others suffering too.. x

 

[Staceyxxx]

I dont know what to say but if you want to talk i'm here

 

[LeaArr]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I think you are doing what's best for you and your family, hard though it may be

 

[Las78]

Hun, I'm so very sorry, no parent should have to make a decision like that, my heart goes out to you. I am glad you are at peace with your decision and can't imagine how very hard this must be for you. My thoughts are with you all hun x

 

[daisygirl]

i'm so so sorry hun i can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

 

[hayley x]

Im so sorry to read this... my thoughts are with you xxx

 

[Naya69]

iam so sorry to hear of your loss and if its any comfort if i was in that awfull situation i would do the same thing xxx

 

[badunkadunk13]

It is a comfort knowing that. I was extremely weary of treading into the miscarriage/loss forum knowing that most of the women here didn't have a choice in their loss. I immediately assumed I'd catch tons of bad feelings for making this choice. The support has been overwhelming. Thank you all so much.

 

[borntobeamum]

Hi sweety, my heart goes out to you.

Please dont feel that you need to "justity" your decision, especially not to any of us on here. Many of us have been through similar, I had to make the deicsion about Gillian and letting her have her wings, but I know that I sometimes feel like I have to explain why I done what I done......

My heart goes out to you and I have got a great deal of support being on here and talking to other mums who have gone through the same sort of things.

here any time if you need to talk over anything.

 

[Barneyboo]

I am so so sorry for you and your DH x x x x

 

[CurlySue]

Sometimes, the kindest thing is to let people go, however much we love them. It's so hard watching a little one suffer. Knowing that they will suffer all their lives is a very painful thing. I know I'd do the same thing. I know it's a totally different situation but when my brother was ten he was in a road accident. Before he died, we were told he had a broken neck, a broken back and severe brain damage, that he would most likely never speak, eat, move, was completely paralysed.

He died twenty four hours later and as hard as it sounds, I was glad that he died. I could not have seen him live that way. You don't want either of your children to suffer. You are taking away her pain.

 

[Las78]

I was extremely weary of treading into the miscarriage/loss forum knowing that most of the women here didn't have a choice in their loss.

Oh hun, I'm sorry you felt that way - we are all here for you. We didn't have a choice in our losses however I'm certain that yours isn't a choice that you want to make but rather have to make so in many ways no different to ours, but when I think of my m/c I have no doubt that what you are going through must be so very much harder as mine just happened so quickly there was no time to think, this time for you now must be extremley painful. Sending you

 

[Pearl]

im so sorry to hear about this. thoughts with u hun xx

 

[soulsister]

Hi sweetie

I just wanted to say that we are all here for you - I had a similar experience last year, we had to make the choice to tx aat 23 weeks for Pallister Hall syndrome.

I too never felt comfortable on the normal miscarriage forums, but soon discovered that ours is still a great loss, and the decision we had made was the kindest thing to do for our LO.

I wish you much strength and peace at this difficult time. If you ever need to ask me anything, or I can offer any help, please just let me know.


laura x

 

[CareBear]

I'm so sorry to hear this and agree with the others that I would make the same decision too

 

[MissingBubs]

My thoughts are with you sweetheart. XX