sadness over no baby

[kipperc]

hi

I lost my baby in june just a day before my sister lost hers also. my sister is pregnant again and due in may. i have not got pregnant since my miscarriage and i am really starting to get down over this. it is also so hard with my sister been so close to giving birth i try to be happy for her but it alsois really hard to listen to her baby talk.

Is there anybody else in the same situation who can relate to how im feeling cos i feel so alone,

 

[hb1]

I think any one who has had a loss feels the same - my sister has a bouncy 6 mth old ( who I adore ) and my friend gave birth a month or so after my mc - I can't help but feel pangs of sadness over my own situation when reminded by other babies - but I met my friends little girl when she was 4 weeks old and was really fine with it - I had dreaded it but it was so lovely to meet her.

I would chat to your sister - as she has had a loss to then she will totally empathise I'm sure - maybe you can talk to her about your ttc and how hard it is after a loss and she can provide support for you too - I bet she's had tons of worries being pregnant after a loss too.

Sorry you're feeling so alone and hope you get a bfp soon

hx

 

[tinybutterfly]

know how you feel, i get more depressed and sad as every cycle goes by,
my bday is coming up (and this year it's on our mother's day) ... i'm not going to be smiling
if i'm not pregnant again by then.

i'm glad i don't have to go to work now untill friday, i work in day care and lately i've had a
hard time working with the babies and finding out about all the mom's who are pregnant again,
some having due dates that are close to the one i had, it hurts...alot

 

[Tulip]

I know exactly how you feel sweetie.... I had four babies close to me born just a week after we lost Ruby. There's also one due on her due date, one a week later and another one a week after that. It just feels like one long procession of babies with me looking on enviously

 

[kipperc]

thanks everyone for your messages.

i can't really talk to my sister as we are not very close and to be honest she wouldnt understand how i feel.

 

[kanga]

hi Kipper, I'm really sorry to hear you feel you can't talk to your sister.

I have a close friend at work who has just announced her pregnancy and she knows about my mmc. I feel I can't be happy for her and almost resent her for getting pregnant which seems silly, but its just how I feel. I just feel really mad that she got pregnant and that it should be me!

I feel I cant talk to her either so I am finding being on here with girls in a similar situ a help, and also talking to my dh. Keep doing the same and it will get easier for you as it has for me.

It will be your turn in time when the big man smiles on you, until that time stay positive and around people who care about you and understand.

can you tell your Mum how you feel and get her to leak the info to your sister? playground tactics I know but needs must!

 

[kipperc]

my mum is to excited for the birth of her first grandchild to understand how i feel

 

[hb1]

oh Kipper - that is very hard - if they can't try and support you while being happy about the new baby then maybe just distance yourself a little - maybe write your mum a letter? Sometimes something read in a quiet moment will hit home a little more than trying to claw through the baby excitement that's going on.

My sister has a 6 mth old and even after my mc my mum kept shoving baby pics in my face - and even ones of other family friends who have had babies since - sometimes I'm cool with it but other times I have just had to say flat out that it's too much for me - I have even been quite spiteful and bluntly changed the subject to my mc - felt bad about it as my mum is lovely and caring but sometimes even those close to us forget!!

There's no right answer with family and every family has it's own dynamics - maybe seek solace with close friends and we're always here - your broken cyber chums!!

hx

 

[LunaBean]

Hey My sister and I started trying at the same time..I've had two miscarriages and she has a 2 months old It's hard when she sends me pix of my nieces every single day, about 10 times, but I'm happy for her..it's still hard tho. Look at it like this tho, when you have your baby, they'll be able to grow up and play together, and your sisters baby will be that bit older, so will be able to look out for your baby when they grow up abit!!!

Alot of my friends are also pregnant or have recently had babies, but it'll be our turn soon!! You always have everyone on here to rant to when you're just fed up with it all

 

[Dannib247]

aww hun i can totally relate.. i lost our baby in feb 09 and still havnt fallen again but my 16year old sister fell in march exactly 1 month after our loss (she lives with us also and it was 'accidental) she terminated and fell again in october she is due july, but the month she fell again was the month we did absolutely everything we could to concieve.. hun its just an awful feeling to be excited but sad at the same time xx

 

[kipperc]

i don't really have a relationship with my mum that i could say look mum it still hurts to hear about her baby coming soon. i think to be honest its just gonna blow up one day really. i think its harder to cos im settled with my partner and we are getting married and shes still like a kid even though she is 19 she had a house realised it was tough and decided her and her boyfriend were just moving back with my mum and i just think she is gona play mum for abit get board and my mum will take over. its hard when all i want is to be a mum through the good and bad times.

 

[hb1]

It's always harder being "the independent one" - everyone assumes you're ok - and you will be - you will be a fiercly strong and wonderful mother to very much loved children hx

 

[kipperc]

just found out im expecting as excited as i am im so scared its going to go wrong wiith my last pregnancy itwas all good then had abit of bleeding hardle anything at all when i went to the hospital and told my babyhad died was horrible. im really looking forward to my 12 week scan but really scared at the same time i keep trying not to get my hopes up but it so hard. we havent told anyone either so its hard to keep it to myself when i wanna shout it from the roof tops.

 

[debgreasby]

Congrats xxx