Same boy hittibg child at school.

[CaptainMummy]

Paige is in primary one, and on 3/4 occasions has come home complaining that a boy has pulled her hair/punched her in the back (twice)/kicked her/told her to shut up... The same boy each time. Im not sure if he is singling her out (she says he didnt do it to anyone else, but He has already had reflection sheets sent home/red cards in class etc)
She said that today he punched her told her to shut up and she told the teacher, but when he punched her the last time she never told anyone (at playtime, no adults closeby)

Does this warrant a note in her diary to the teacher, just to make her aware?

 

[JessyG]

I'd be up at the school.

What did the teacher do on the occassions Paige was able to tell her?

 

[alibaba24]

I would absolutely be speaking to her teacher . x

 

[RachA]

Definitely speak to the teacher about it to make them aware of what Paige has said.
Also try to make sure that Paige brings it to the attention of the teacher when it happens. Although make sure that she isn't making a big issue over nothing. That kind of sounds like I'm saying she's making it up but I'm not. I've had experience of my two telling me they've been hit or something mean has been said but actually it wasn't the case. Yes someone was a bit heavy handed but it wasn't done meaning to be mean. Sometimes children can misinterpret things.
But it's always worth just having a word with the teacher.

 

[CaptainMummy]

Thanks ladies, when she told the teacher today she said the little boy lost all of his golden time.

RachA, thats why I havent mentioned it before. I doubt the little boy is trying to actually hurt her (although she said it hurt her back today) but it still isnt fair for him to get physical. I just spoke to Paiges friends mum and she said her daughter says that he has hit her too, and also thrown jackets and pencils at them and another boy.
It sounds like he isnt singling her out but I feel like it has happened one too many times for me to ignore it. This is her fourth week at school and she has complained 4/5 times already. Too often in my opinion.

I have just written a note to the teacher, so hopefully he justs needs to be told to be less physical and that will be the end of it

 

[sequeena]

Have things been better? I feel for you. I am on the opposite side. Thomas is pushing kids over, pulling hair and stamping on hands in his case he has no idea how to interact and is likely overstimulated at play time but I feel so bad for him and the children on the receiving end

 

[Boomerslady]

I'm really sorry your LO is going through this

I'm too on the other side, Ben got in trouble last year as he kept poking a boy during carpet time, once he was moved to the front the teacher noticed he kept fiddling the the rug corner, he just needed something to do with his hands as he gets bored easily, but the mum of the boy he kept poking still doesn't like me much!!

He pushed someone last week but after talking to him he said they kept pushing him and he was walking away like I told him too but they didn't stop. He lost his golden time for that.

It's just soo hard as his teacher fully agrees he's not malicious, at all. He's just bigger than most in his year, and gets carried away easily. So any rough games can turn sour quickly as other kids feel intimidated and he hurts them without realising.

It's such a horrible situation and I'd hate for any mum to hate me or him because of it. I'd rather we talk and address the situation, if I knew anyone thought Ben was picking on thier LOs I'd be mortified.

 

[CaptainMummy]

Well the teacher pulled me aside on Friday and told me she had spoken to both Paige and the boy and told them to stay away from each other and reminded Paige that she must tell her straight away if anything else happens.

Surprise surprise yesterday she came out of school and told me the boy had kicked her again and had been annoying her and a few friends that she was playing with. She told the teacher and she did something on their behavior chart (Im not entirely sure what they do but its similar to the whole three strikes and you're out thing)

Her best friends mum (who I am quite friendly/chatty with) spoke to me todag and said thay her daughter had been complaining about him too and she also told her mum that he had hit Paige in the face although Paige never mentioned it to me.

I am getting a bit sick of it tbh and I secretly hope he has laid a hand on her today so I can go have a stern word with the teacher to get it sorted out. My girl is the most gentle, timid thing and certainly diesnt deserve to be physically harassed at school

 

[sequeena]

Oh no

 

[Quartz]

These situations are always so difficult as they often involve children who has done nothing wrong and at this age children (a bit like Boomerslady said) children who cant control their emotions and act out.

Firstly my advice is to figure out what you would like to happen (and be realistic). Look at what your school policies are in terms of bullying and figure out if it is that or a child acting out. Schools dont have much room to maneover (at the moment it sounds like there is a behaviour chart they move down. DD has this and if you move down to the bottom you see the headteacher)

Have you talked to the mum? We have a boy in DDs class who has sensory processing issues (amongst others) which causes him to act out and hit others - speaking to her and understanding him a bit more has helped shaped how we all react.

Figure out then what drives the situation - is he a little boy deliberately running up and hurting them or is he is little boy struggling to settle and make friends and is going up to them in the hope they will play with him and cant handle it so strikes out.

Personally I think the teachers advice to them to avoid is wrong - I would say getting them to make friends with each other and promote cooperative play together.

 

[CaptainMummy]

The mum actually approached me today after school and asked if Paige was okay (so Im assuming she knows I made a complaint) and she told me it was so out of character for him and that the teacher hadnt really given her much information about it apart from writing in his homework diary 'hitting in playground'. She told me it os only in the playground, and when she spoke to him about it he told her that nobody wanted to play with him.
I think I probably took it the wrong way, and he isnt setting out to hurt anyone, and just doesnt know how to deal with his emotions in the playground, And I feel quite bad that I tarnised him with the wrong brush...

But it is still frustrating that it is my daughter that gets the brunt of it! Argh!

 

[sequeena]

It's understandable. It's your job to be protective.

 

[Quartz]

Your job is to protect your daughter you did that.

I dont though think the teacher handled it well - telling you that she told them to stay apart when she should have looked into it and figured out he was finding it difficult to make friends and acting out when they (rightly I must say children have a right to say who they can play with) said no. She should then have spent time trying to socialise him and encourage Paige and him to be friends.

 

[FlumpsMamma]

The same thing was happening to my daughter on her first week. A boy, j h bigger than her was chasing her round, punching Her, pulling hair and stealing her glasses. I went into school because every day she was complaining and started hating going to school. I told the teacher everything and the little boy was segregated and taken away from my daughter. I hate to say it but even at such a young age kids can be bullies and bullies aren't going to stop unless made to. I later heard he was picking on my daughters friends and not wanting anyone to play with her, trying to single her out. It all resolved when I went into the school, had a meeting with teachers and parents and they all agreed he would move to the other class. I suggest you have a meeting too and see what can be done for your daughter