Scared about the hospital

[mrskx0x0]

When I had my DD I asked for an epidural and they just told me I didn't "need one" and didn't even explain why. Then after the birth she wasn't feeding and I kept telling them but they didn't care or try and help. How could that be normal that she didn't eat for almost 24 hours? Anyway, my sister has just given birth at the same hospital and they turned her away because she was ony 2cm. She refused to go as she could hardly walk and long story short, she was in the bathroom sobbing because her baby was coming. They did get her In the delivery room in time but as they never admitted her they didn't check her notes to see she had the rhesus negative (?) thing and they threw the cord away before doing the blood test. They converted the baby's weight wrong and told her he was 7lb9 when he was really 7lb15 and I have to give birth at this place!! It's the nearest hospital and it's over an hour away so I can't realy go any further afield especially as it's my second.

I feel like the lack of control I felt in the hospital contributed to my PND and I don't want it to happen again

 

[Brightxeyes]

Can you share these concerns with your midwife?
I'm so sorry to hear about your bad experience with them, and your sisters, I hear of all these things, no matter how small it might appear to them, it's a big deal to us, and it gets me worried too!

Obviously you're a bit more experienced now, was that one your first?? So I'd be more inclined to demand now. This is my first and I'm usually too polite to argue unless really riled up! So definitely argue it. They will always try and put off an epidural. But if you want it. Demand it. They say no. Say why the bloody hell not. If they give a reason say I want a second opinion.

You need to have the control as long as it's not beyond reason. I hope you have a better experience this time round! I'm hoping I can also be brave enough to be demanding enough

 

[Mrsturner]

Surely if an epidural is in your birth plan they will let you have one? I asked for one last time and they put me off and put me off because I specifically put no epidural in my birth plan. I ended up having one due to complications during labour and I think I'm going to put epidural optional on my birth plan this time around.
Hopefully, the situation will be better for you this time around as you get a great birth experience x

 

[mrskx0x0]

Yes brighteyes! We shall be forceful and insist. Yes, Scarlett was my first and I had no idea what was going on really. I didn't sleep for two days while I was in there and sod that this time, I'm going straight home if they aren't even going to help me. My OH isn't very good at being assertive but if yours is then maybe you could tell him exactly what you want and then he can fight your corner for you?

 

[RcdM]

That's awful. I agree with Mrsturner, try to establish a specific birth plan with your doctor or midwife so that once you are there, you can make sure everyone who sees you knows what it is. And if they ever say anything that's unclear or doesn't make sense, make them tell you why! And if you don't like that answer, ask to speak to someone else. You deserve to know the reasons for every single decision!

 

[mrskx0x0]

I didn't have a birth plan mrsturner because I couldn't get to the antenatal classes and so I didn't even know I was supposed to have one. To be fair there might not have been enough time to get the anaesthetist down before she was born but if they'd have just said that then I wouldn't have felt so out of control. They also didn't believe me that the gas and air In the portable cylander was coming out after than the one out of the wall. Just because I was in pain doesn't mean I was delusional, argh! I think it's good to leave all the options open. Hopefully this time thinks will be stretchier and less painful lol xxx

 

[NotNic]

Have you considered the possibility of a home birth? I know you won't have an option of an epidural, but the trust in your mw and being in control might help you.

 

[princessatmey]

only prob i had with first was they way mws were about bf. I was transfered frm my local unit(low risk) to large unit 2hrs away an son was born 1.50pm feed him for 10 mins on breast. An didnt no how long wait etc so was on ward waiting be told feed him an on phone my mum 5pmish still not feed him. i eventually asked mw at 6 or 7pm ish. I said hes not been fed since birth mw said well feed him. I was like wht i dunno wht an doin. I eventually got sympathetic mw who held sons head for me too fed him didnt get much so tried expresing only got ml or so so they then said if he dont fed thered be complications an alot docs involved to wich i said just btl feed then. I had nvr held child before so couldnt hold him right at breast plus he had strong neck etc. I was sorta bed ridin as i had severe pre e in labour so was dizzy on standing an doin to much. Was on meds etc. My second i managed have in my local unit an they didnt think was far along as i was in labor didnt examin until i wanted push. All i got was bath an parctmol as refused anything until id been examined. I found some mws are better/nicer than others. Now 13+3 weeks with bubs 3.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I cant see what country your in but in UK if they dont put birth plan doesnt mean you dont get it. If you want something just ask and its given (depending on few reasons)

I was going to say the same, have you thought about home birth?
Hiring a doula?