*scared about transfer*seeking support*

[vkj73]

so my transfer is tomorrow. we are going to do 2 out of 3 (freeze 1). we decided to grow them out, rather than transfer all three today.
i'm super scared about multiples, but i know getting pg at all is a 25% chance at my age with ivf. chance of multiples is 5-10%.

i'm feeling scared, anxious, even having feelings of guilt (spiritually/religious based). i never thought we'd be here, and here we are, the eve of the transfer.

i would so appreciate any advice/words of encouragement. i'm pretty fragile right now.

i think all the hormones running through me are adding to anxiety.

thanks in advance ladies

 

[Letsgo]

Hi vkj,

I am sorry that you are piling the nerves on. I don't transfer until Saturday so I can't speak to that part, but I understand the (pre) guilt. Two years ago we decided that we were only going to pursue medication, and then as we learned more about what was likely based on what didn't work in me, we thought IUI was it. We weren't candidates for that, either, it turns out. Then I got pregnant naturally before we could start my first IVF cycle. That wasn't meant to be, but I know I need to try before I can reset my heart toward another way to have a family. Very few in my circle know we are getting this degree of "help". When our children arrive, they will be loved and that is what matters.

Do you want to talk about your fears about multiples? The statistics are one way we feel like we are in control of the process, playing the odds and trying to see where we fall. If they give you a degree of comfort, take it. I feel like this entire process is the most controlled out-of-control thing we can do to our bodies.

As for hormones, amen. I've been nodding and crying while writing this extremely edited message. Hugs to you. I hope you can rest tonight and wake tomorrow with grace and peace to sail through the day.

 

[highhopes2013]

Try not too worry too much about the transfer itself, it really isn't too bad a process. Best piece of advice I can give u is to keep ure mind on the ultimate goal - having a baby. Ure going through all of this for a precious little baby of ure own, I saw it as a test of sorts and tried to think about how loved that baby would be if we had to go through all of this to create it. Good luck xx

 

[vkj73]

Thank you for your replies and words of encouragement. It helps to not feel alone. I'm not so scared about the actual procedure...it's more so as letsgo said, the control/out-of-control factor, the odds, statistics, etc.

The gamble part is nerve-wracking: will it work at all? Will it be multiples? Will there be other challenges due to my age?

The bottom line is, and as highhopes said, we are going thru this to have a precious baby.

I have to have faith that it will all work out.
It's just that it's the craziest leap of faith ever.

 

[highhopes2013]

It is a huge leap of faith, you are right. And for my first cycle I was too scared to actually believe that it could work. My main reason for putting in two embryos was to up the odds of having one baby. The first time only one implanted and the third time both implanted. I'm seeing it as what is meant to be will be.

The control out of control thing is so true! It's a real roller coaster of a journey. But ultimately, if it gets you pregnant, it's worth all the tears and pain and heartache xxx

 

[Disturbia]

I was thinking the same and decided to transfer only 1 each time. But I think I would be happy to have twins than a fail cycle. Good luck with your transfer and keep your feet warm!