scared husband

[marmar]

Hello,

This is my first pregnancy . My husband and I are 35. I am asking how he feels about this. I believe he is happy but he said he is very scared about the whole thing. I am not too sure why he has the jitters so much. I wish I knew how to console him better to not have such built up nerves. Its new for me too!
Any advice?

 

[Gia7777]

I think being scared can be a very normal reaction/emotion for both men and women alike no matter the age or individual situation. I know in my situation my husband (who is a bit older at 47) was scared when we first found out, mainly because it was such a surprise and just the week before he was talking early retirement... But as they say Life Happens when you are busy making other plans and after the shock wore off he has been elated ever since.

Has your husband been any more specific about what he is scared of? (e.g being older parents, your health and pregnancy, being able to provide, etc?) I think if you could find out more specifically that may make it easier to work though. Keep your chin up, Im sure he's just as happy as can be for the both of you!

 

[Andypanda6570]

When I got pregnant at 40 ( total total total surprise, we were definitely done having children) my 3 boys were 20,17 and 11 and my husband was almost 40
When i told him I thought he was going to pass out he was upset and felt like we were done we finally had our alone time, he said Ann we raised our boys he just was not that happy. He felt like when he was 50 my precious Ava would be 10 and he would not be in the same shape he was when he had our boys he was 19 21 and 29 so big difference, so my response was I guess get some counseling cause I am having this baby I would say about 10 weeks into the pregnancy he started to really change and get excited and was over the moon when we found out it was a girl Sadly I lost my Ava at 18 and half weeks, i gave birth to her and we buried her on 3/11/2011. My point is though most men come around as soon as they hear that first heartbeat I heard Ava's at 7 weeks it was 192 and I cried with such joy/ Your husband is feeling what is normal but I bet he will come around and realize this will be the best journey of his life with you and his child.
Wishing ALL The Best XOXOXOOXOO

 

[Torontogal]

I think a bit of shock and fear is normal even if the pregnancy is planned/wanted - we were both in shock for a week or so even though we had been trying and you wouldn't have thought we'd be in shock. Maybe hang back a little give him a week or so to ease into it?
And, Congratulations!

 

[marmar]

Thank you for the advice, info, and encouragement.

 

[happymamma]

It's very common, esp for 1st time dads that they get scared. To them, its a huge responsibility. They are usually the bread winners, they feel a huge pressure, cuz this tiny little baby will depend on him for everything. Also some men are just scared and freaked out about the whole pg and delivery thing.

My advice, would be to sign up for some prenatal classes for one, and maybe theres a class in ur area for 1st time dads, where they go to express their feelings, fears,... they have that where I live. The more they learn about the whole thing, the more supportive they will be for you also. Alot of ppl tend to forget, it's not just us who need care, the men do too, and if you show them that u realize that, the happier everyone will be!

Lol, you'd think I love my dh or something

 

[suzimc]

My husband is a bit scared too, mostly because I can be a bit highly strung and he's worried that if it all goes wrong I won't be able to cope. He's also worried because he's a student while I'm the family breadwinner so he'll be the one who has to take a year out after my maternity leave and be a stay at home dad for a while. I think sometimes we forget about the worries of the man cos we're so caught up in the excitement and fear of early pregnancy. Sometimes we need to be gentle with them and they come round. Also think about a mad pet...it'll give him something else to worry about when he goes for a poo to realise that cat has run off with the toilet paper! x