Scared of tearing again...

[emzilouu]

Im not scared about labour at all (silly me) I got induced with my son and im not scared about going naturally this time like I really should be, im not scared about contractions, im not scared about having to have a csection or anything but I am scared about tearing again I had an awfully bad tear with my son all up the inside of my vaginal wall and a bad tear on the outside too. i went through all my labour on just 4 paracetamol and then had to have a spinal to have stitches in surgery as my tear was so bad....and im absolutely petrified of tearing again, or my old scars re-opening anyone got any advice?

 

[AC1987]

That's the ONE thing that scares me too! Ugh recovery from stitches down there was the WORST Especially when all they tell you is you can take ibuprofen.

 

[2Pups4Kids]

I'll be a FTM and this is what I'm most afraid of too... I'm assuming if you opt for an epidural, it's not bad... at least that's what I'm hoping!

 

[emzilouu]

The actual tearing didn't hurt but the recovery.......eeee it's worse then labour

 

[teal]

I found recovery from tearing worse than labour and tearing! I also had to have a spinal after delivery! I had an episiotomy and separate 4th degree tear. At my 8 week check I was advised any future births to elect for c-section because of the damage done. Can you talk it over with your midwife or consultant? Good luck

 

[Feronia]

Stay off your back (your hips are 30% more open when you are in an upright position), push slowly, and you maximize your chances of not tearing. Some people will stretch their perineums daily with oil towards the end of pregnancy, but it doesn’t help as much as your position and slower pushing. Sometimes a nuchal hand (or other position) will make things difficult, but I know women who have delivered 10 lb babies without tearing in upright positions.

 

[liz1985]

I had a 3rd degree tear with ds and this time I have been offered a c section but im declining it. The thought of tearing again really does scare me but I feel confidant ive made the right decision. Im hoping for a water birth but if I cant im still going to avoid the epi and giving birth lying in the bed, both of which increase the chances of tearing. Have you talked it through with your midwife? I felt much more calm after talking it all through.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Firstly, you're not silly not to be scared of labour .
I had a bad tear with my 1st. He was back to back, I delivered on my back and he presented with a nuchal hand. He was also quite large (9lb 15oz) for my frame. My poor vagina didn't stand a chance . My recovery was fine, I was hardly bothered by the tear or stitches and was up and about the next day. But still it would have been nice to avoid it!
With my second things were similar but also very different. DD was back to back and came out the same way, although she came shoulder first rather then hand first. However I laboured and delivered in a birthing pool and was able to change position and my skin was able to stretch better with the assistance of the water. Can't rate a water birth highly enough! I had a tiny 1st and 2nd degree tear and didn't get stitched. Being mobile and pushing slowly help.

 

[LockandKey]

I understand your fear, I had a 3rd degree episiotomy cut with my first and recovery with stitches was HORRID!!!! It took so long to fully recover, and it was so painful that I was was so afraid of tearing with my 2nd and spent my entire pregnancy worrying over it, but guess what? I didn't tear even a little bit, just had a teeny top graze that stung a bit when I peed, and that stopped 48hrs after my son's birth. And my son was born at 8lbs 2oz.

Here's what I did, I did perineum massages and stretches daily for 10 mins each session starting at 37 weeks. I did between 50 to 100 kegel exercises daily starting at 26 weeks, I took my time pushing and rested when I needed to, and in between my pushing, my midwife held a warm cloth to my perineum and did massages to help stretch me.

Thanks to all that, I actually felt great after my son's birth. Minutes after he was born I got right up off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, and was walking around normally again the day we left the hospital

 

[goddess25]

I had a 3rd degree borderline 4th with my first birth and the recovery was horrid. I was very scared 2nd time around, I gave birth on all 4s on top of the bed and it helped tremendously and I did daily perineal massage esp in the areas with all the scar tissue and I did tear it was only 1st degree. the midwive told me that in most women they would stitch it, she told me I could stitch it or leave it and I chose to leave it and it was nothing. slight stinging while peeing in the first few days.

3rd labour I pushed out a 10lber and only had a 1st degree tear too, and I was on my knees on the floor. I really believe that position is a huge factor in tearing.

good luck I am sure it will be better than you think.