Scared of Vaginal Birth. Really want c-section!

[justanicegirl]

Hi Everyone.

Im approx 8 weeks pregnant and seriously getting stressed out about having to have a natural birth. Im 34 and this is Number 1 for me - the reason ive left it so long is because of a total fear of labour! I think im in denial that im even preggo as i dont want to even think about what i will have to go through in 7 months. Ive read up about the pros and cons and truely believe a c-sections is the right option for me. Im worried im gonna be forced to have a natural birth though and im panicking about it already!

I just dont know what to do, i reckon if i bring this up with my midwife at my first meeting she might have me commited to the nuthouse over this fear. Is there any advise anyone can give me with how to handle this? When do i bring the subject up? Whats the likelihood i will be able to get a c-section? Is there any hope? xxx

 

[ellismum]

Firstly, congratulations! This first few weeks after getting your BFP can be one rollercoaster of emotion and changes but give it time, you may feel differently further along in your pregnancy.

I really doubt you will be offered a c-section given there is no medical cause or previous birth experience. I know you feel that it's best for you but what they look at is what's best for the baby too and that will be as nature intended.

Please talk to your midwife about your fears as soon. As possible. you wont be the only one to be fearful and she will offer you help and support. Also, have you looked at what is offered to help
labour In addition to the usual like G&A and epidural such as Hypnobirthing?

 

[Lettuce]

There is a genuine phobia over childbirth, I've forgotten what it's called. If you have this I would speak to a midwife ASAP, then there is time to either have help to work through this, or to organise birthing alternatives.
I was afraid of labour, lots of women are, but it wasn't a phobia, so I managed through it. (ended up with an emcs anyway, after 36hours of labour, and 2 hours pushing) and I'd gladly do labour again rather than c section!
If it's a phobia, they will help you! good luck and try not to let this spoil the enjoyment of your pregnancy, it's a wonderful time.

 

[misshopefull]

As others have said I would talk to your midwife asap. My friend had a very difficult birth with her first baby and really wanted a c-section this time but the consultant wouldn't agree to it

Talk to your midwife and try not to let the fear of the birth ruin your pregnancy

 

[lillmoo]

poor you i had a major fear of childbirth, i put off having a baby for years because of it, when i got pregnant i'd watch one born every min in tears of fear, i just wanted my little bean out, even tho he was much wanted, i braved it, and went into labour naturally, and loved every second of it, i just wish to god i could have avoided my c sec, for me personally, i would have rather done it the 'right' way! i feel so let down as it was a emcs, i know that this may not help as nothing anyone would say would make me feel better, but all i can say is the closer to birth i got the less scared i was, hope you'll be the same

 

[_marmite_]

Hi Justanicegirl,

I'm the same, have huge fears about labour and birth. My mother had two nightmare births and i've been told all my life how awful it is.

I'm not pregnant, but my husband and I are trying for a baby.

The only advice I've heard which has re-assured me, is my friend who has had 4 children says that she cant watch programs like "One born every minute" as it looks so painful!

I said to her but you've had 4 children and she replied, yes but its totally different when its you doing the pushing LOL

The way I see it, if its soo bad, why do woman go on to do it more than once - even those who've had a terrible time.

When I finally do have a babe, im going to try and just go with the flow and think one way or another this little person will be finally in my arms.

You are truly blessed to be pregnant, try to enjoy ever moment xx

 

[Mrs HM]

Hi hun,
I had a section nine weeks ago and believe me it's not plain sailing either! The recovery can be slow and it is major surgery. However, my hospital's policy is that if you ask for a section you can have one after they can be sure that you have considered all of the options and are still certain that the surgery is right for you and your baby. So as far as I am aware you cannot be forced to labour and birth your baby.

I laboured until I was 6cm without any meds, and it honestly wasn't that painful, but if you are worried already you should make sure your midwife listens to your fears and takes them seriously from the start.

I'll just add that when it comes to it you will do anything necessary to make sure your LO is OK, even if it's the scariest thing in the world so have faith in yourself.

Good luck.

 

[calm]

Hi Everyone.

Im approx 8 weeks pregnant and seriously getting stressed out about having to have a natural birth. Im 34 and this is Number 1 for me - the reason ive left it so long is because of a total fear of labour! I think im in denial that im even preggo as i dont want to even think about what i will have to go through in 7 months. Ive read up about the pros and cons and truely believe a c-sections is the right option for me. Im worried im gonna be forced to have a natural birth though and im panicking about it already!

I just dont know what to do, i reckon if i bring this up with my midwife at my first meeting she might have me commited to the nuthouse over this fear. Is there any advise anyone can give me with how to handle this? When do i bring the subject up? Whats the likelihood i will be able to get a c-section? Is there any hope? xxx

It is a genuine phobia that actually means some women will never ever let themselves get pregnant and go to extreme methods to make sure this doesn't happen. The good news is that you have TTC, got pregnant, so you probably don't have the severest case. But you are frightened, phobic, worried... you need to tell doctor/midwife, so that you can talk to someone, who can tell you all your options, either by helping you to overcome your fear and go for it, or let you have a section. I am a phobic person my nature so I do understand, it becomes one big circle of worry you don't know how to get out of.

 

[amjon]

I was absolutely terrified of labor (though probably slightly more of C-section). When they told me I had to be induced (in the hospital) I really didn't want to be there. I wanted a birth center birth with no drugs/ ivs/ etc. They put an IV in first and the inserts. I had 4 days of inserts; they planned on the Pitocin drip when I reached 4cm. I told the nurse I was getting some cramping the last day and asked for Tylenol. That did nothing and I was pretty uncomfortable (but still nothing that made me think I was really in labor) and though I was going to be like that all day, so had them give me the IV drugs. About 10 minutes later I had them running in because she was crowning. They didn't have time to break the bed down ) ), so I delivered with the nurse without the stirrups. It was very peaceful and the pain was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. I really wish they would have checked me before giving me the drugs though as I would have been fine without. I was up within minutes of delivery. I would take natural over a C-section any day, but will probably have to get a C-Section for my next delivery .

 

[xxtweak18xx]

I was scared of giving birth to my baby girl too. Thats why 2 weeks before my due date i asked for an elective c-section. They asked why? I said well i would rather have one then do it natural and bc i already had a surgery done in the same spot at 20 weeks and they said ok and scheduled it. I had mine on Feb 6th and my baby girl was born at 9:45am.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Take it from someone whos had a c section....its awful. It can cause more complications for baby and mum and the recovery is the worst.

I would never want another c section and will be trying for a vbac next time.

 

[Meishka]

Oh my goodness dear! You are experiencing what everyone does! First of all, there really aren't that many horrible deliveries. Most go smooth, you just tend to hear about the hard ones. I'm ttc #2, my first is 10 yrs old now. I want to actually give birth this time with no painkillers at all! I had an epidural with my first and it was easy. After it kicked in I didn't feel anything and actually told the doctor to let me know when they were ready! I even had to ask if I was pushing right because I couldn't feel anything. Lol. Seriously, everyone fears it a lot, but it's not bad at all. You may regret it if u have a c
section by choice for many many reasons! I'm hoping I conceived this month, and if I did, I have already told my partner that I refuse to have a c section unless it is medically deemed to be a life or death situation! Also, many woman have c sections that doctors claim to be necessary when they aren't! I hope you find peace and some joy in the thought of child birth. Womens bodies are built for this, don't you were Hun.

 

[Meishka]

Oops! Meant to say don't you worry Hun! Lol, damn auto correct

 

[Missy86]

You will regret it if you don't try to have a normal birth

I loved my c section experience, but I did labour for 26 hours and got to 9cms
I am hoping for an elective with this baby but at least I know that have have tried my hardest to give birth normally

 

[Arisa]

Hey Just want to say that I had the same fears as you and was terrified of getting pregnant but wanted to at the same time. I had severe panic attacks and even contemplated suicide once getting pregnant because I could not face the idea of vaginal birth and the aftermath of one really. IF you have a medical reason then you will be allowed to have one, however mental health reasons now count as medical reasons, there is tokophobia which is an actual diagnosed fear of childbirth however not all midwives will acknowledge it.

If I were you I would seek counselling and support as I was not given this until I switched midwives a week ago and I'm now 29 weeks so I've left it a bit late but my new midwife knows my mental health and medical history and we are seeing the OB too book a section next week some time so if you push hard enough and are really genuinely still stressed by the time third tri comes then you should be allowed to have one unless you end up with another reason you need one like baby being breech or having a low lying placenta.


I know a lot of women hate the idea of C-sections and see themselves as failures for having them but I feel the other way around, I would regret not having one.
I really hope you get the help and advice you need to make an informed decision because I know there will be risk and benefit to having one

 

[larudy13]

Congrats on your pregnancy.
I wouldnt worry about labor too much, if you fear the pain there is medicines/epidural you can get, I pushed for almost 2 hours and had to get an EMCsection, I had an epidural and got so close to vaginal OH saw our babies hair and I didn't feel any of it.. And recovering from a section with a newborn is not impossible but its really hard, and the pains you feel after are horrible(like the staples pulling your skin.) I am 4 weeks PP now and just barely starting to feel normal at my incision sight, and I still get occasional pains there.

Hopefully you will get over your fears because baby has to come out one way or another, and most hospitals won't give you a section for a first baby without medical reason.

 

[KateyCakes]

Your midwife may offer you counseling or something similar to help though. Hope you work out what you want and what's best for baby. You've still got alot of time to think about it.

 

[GGC]

Firstly a big congrats! Secondly, I know how you're feeling, it was me 2 years ago. I also put off trying as it all frightened me too much. Yes, most women have some fear, but for some of us it's more than 'normal'. I tried talking it through at my first midwife appointment and came away feeling even worse. I moved house and therefore midwives, and it was a totally different experience. She listened and could see my fear was greater than normal. She referred me to the hospital natal support. Whilst I was waiting for my appointment I also started hypo birthing classes as I was determined to beat my fear, however it worsened with panic attacks. I had been referred to a consultant and after talking throug we all decided an elective c-section would be best. It was overall a great experience! Now my lovely little boy is 14 months and my husband and I still agree it was the best decision for me and I certainly don't regret it. I'm now concentrating on bringing up my baby with the knowledge the actual birth was only a small (although life changing) part of this.

Sorry for rambling on, but I wanted to share my experience. My advice is talk to your midwife, if you don't feel you can talk to her then see if there's another you can. Look into and try out all the options you feel might help YOU. Yes, it would have been great to beat my fear but I feel pleased enough that I tried to and I would do it all the same again. You will probably surprise yourself and with a bit of support feel a million times better about gong natural, either way you'll do whats right for YOU and can concentrate on enjoying your pregnancy and then your little bundle. Happy to talk, whatever decisions you make. would love to hear how you get on.

 

[Arisa]

you will most likely be referred to a counselling service depending where you are. In N.Z these services are free when you are pregnant so I have a social worker now too as well as a support system arranged by my midwife and really it will be up to the OBs. My social worker and midwife feel that due to my anxiety and health that has gotten worse since being pregnant, that C-section would be the best option but mind you I am 30 weeks pregnant without any counselling as I had a bad midwife who would not let me have any help and lied to me and told me I could have a C-section then turned me down at the last minute for an OB appt but generally because its your first trimester they should give you counselling and discuss all of your birth options in full and then as the months go on they will assess your anxieties and so on and then decide so you may even find that with the right support and counselling you may not be fearful of a vaginal birth anymore

do you have any concerns of going over due? that is a really big anxiety for me, it was keeping me awake at night and making me throw up. its best to discuss induction as well as its easy to say "oh just wait it out, baby is not ready etc" but when your mental state is failing, it cannot be good for baby or mother to wait it out.

I do hope you get the help and support you need and in the end get the birth you want

 

[skc22]

I agree with the other ladies, seek some counseling and support asap. Its pretty normal to be scared of labor. I went through my entire pregnancy thinking I was going to have an elective section, but they changed their minds at 37 weeks. Personally I wasn't scared of labor at all, I just wanted what was best for my baby and for her to be safe. I had an awful labor which ended in EMCS. But the second I held my baby I said I would do it all again. She was worth everything I went through. Its amazing what our bodies can do. I was induced for 5 days and I only got an epidural at 8cm because I had a gut feeling I was going to have an EMCS anyway. Everyone has different pain thresholds, and you don't get a medal for medication free labor. If you need drugs, take them. That's what they are there for.

Trust me, having a section is no walk in the park. Its major surgery. My LO is 7 months, and half my wound is still open and oozing. Its not infected but I have a collection of fluid in my abdomen, and it leaks about half a cup a day. It has stopped me being able to exercise and loose the baby weight and I am really struggling with it.

Only you know what is right for you and how you feel about labor. I really hope you get the support you need