Scared of Vaginal Birth. Really want c-section!

[hulahoop09]

I want to say a HUGE congrats on being pregnant! I suffer from tokophobia (would cry, shake, hyperventilate etc at thought of being made to have a natural birth & scared I would die from it etc) and have done since my late teens (am now almost 29). At first I just thought I was being silly and thought nothing of it but as I got older it got worse. Then I get together with my now hubby and just put off having a baby and it caused arguements etc as he couldnt understand where I was coming from. He wanted children but I was terrified of a natural birth. I couldnt (still cant) watch or listen to someone in labour/giving birth look at pictures etc. I even considered adopting as I am so terrified.

Well year before last all my friends were announcing pregnancies and I was (as usual) so so broody as I love babies. It really got to me and once again reduced me to tears. So I contacted a counsellor I had saw for depression etc a couple of years before. He gave me a number for local midwives and I called them. I spoke to one who came to where I work and she put me onto another midwife. She came to my home to speak to me and told me that she would help. She was all for natural, homebirth etc and said if I was to get pregnant a c-section WOULD be an option for me.

Well a few months later I was pregnant and she put me in touch with a consultant at the hospital who was VILE!! She basically kind of brushed it off to start but put me in touch with a hypnobirthing MW. I was also referred for CBT. The hypnobirthing mw came to see me and have me a cd and a book to look and listen to and I started CBT. Well the hypnobirthing mw came to see me again and saw that it was a genuine fear and she supported my c-section option (as did my gp, MW and later my therapist) and said she would contact my consultant. I went to therapy but it just didnt help as I COULD NOT go through with a natural birth. Also the hypnobirthing MW said that my fear was so bad that if I was made to have a natural birth my body would shut down and I would end up with an EMCS anyway!! And with a h/o depression, anxiety and my phobia I had a BIG chance of post natal depression. I went to CBT and he also supported my c-section option as I just couldnt cope thinking I was being made to have a natural birth etc. The hospital staff were fab and a few weeks before I went to see the theatre where lo would be born which really helped! I wasnt gonna have a hospital tour as I was scared of bumping into women in labour and freaking out but they got me to go in at about 9pm one night when it was quiet and they even took me in the staff lift just incase I bumped into someone labouring! I saw a mum (who had an EMCS) coming out of recovery with her baby in her arms and it was lovely!

Cut a longer story short I ended up having an ELCS at 39+2 and it was AMAZING!!! Our little girl was born 8lb 1oz at 9.39am on 19/10/2011. Best day of our lives! I was also scared of the c-section but it went great (even the spinal which I was dreading). We even plan on another baby in a few years or so and again I will have a c-section. Strangely enough people ask if I could now go through with a natural birth! Errrr no my phobia hasnt disappeared!! Lol.

Speak to your MW and if you go to therapy and it works then fab but if it doesnt dont worry as there are options for you. As my MW said they cant force you to do something that brings so much distress etc as it is kind of abuse!!!!

Good luck hun and feel free to message me if you want to talk!!

xx

 

[Butterfly89]

I am SO terrified of labour, but because of my heart mainly. I have a muscular problem that causes irregular heartbeat which leads to skyrocketing blood pressure, chest/shoulder pains, racing heart, breathing problems kind of like asthma without the congestion, and random fainting spells. Normally, it's just really really annoying and interferes with my working out properly, but it's not dangerous. The doctor who diagnosed it in my teens just said know my limits, don't overdo it, but it's not like my heart will randomly give out. Except he said it could be an issue in childbirth.

I also have a really, really weird pelvic structure where everything is all scrunched up together (like all the lower organs) and a short torso. So I'm afraid ( I know, this sounds silly) LO will get stuck, and I'll have to push really hard and my heart will give out. I honestly think its a valid concern from what I've read of this condition (myocardial *wordIcan'tspell* tachycardia). Some women nearly died apparently, but some had ok births too. It seems like such a risk to take though. Plus if I am stressed, LO will be so that scares me too. =(

I know c-sections are longer recovery, can have serious complications, and there is a risk of LO having to go on oxygen, but I have researched it a LOT since my teen years and I found out about all this and I think it is the safest option *for me*. I also have anxiety problems and thinking about labour already makes me so stressed. =( I can't imagine how terrified I'll be later on... I really don't know, my doctor doesn't have much advice so I am waiting for a referral to a specialist to get more opinions.