Scared to get excited

[Mini Ginge]

Last year around this time, at our 22 week scan we found out that our second baby had very severe Spina Bifida, it had effected our daughters spine immensely and also her brain, so much so that we were told she would not have survived if I would have carried her full term. After I gave birth (naturally) to our Angel, 3 weeks later I haemorrhaged due to some matter being left behind from the birth.

7 months later we find out I was pregnant again, but I miscarried at 8 weeks.


Because of the past year, I am so petrified to get excited about this pregnancy. Me and OH have only told my parents, we don't want to tell anyone, our families are so close, and we don't want them to go through the pain again if anything was to go wrong again. I had a scan at 6 weeks after I had a bleed and I saw the baby and heartbeat etc, all was fine. My dating scan is in 3 weeks. We will probably tell family after that, as long as everything is ok.

I can't help feel guilty for not getting excited. My OH is also petrified about us going through hell again. Is this normal?

 

[madtowngirl]

First of all, I'm so very sorry for everything you have experienced. I can't imagine the pain you have been through.

Second, I think given everything you've experienced, it's very normal to be scared. I had an early mc, and *I'm* scared to be excited. Don't feel guilty, I think these feelings are completely normal.

Wishing you a healthy 9 months, and no more heartbreak.

 

[Mini Ginge]

Thank you for your kind words, but I wasn't after any sympathy. I find myself very lucky that we have our daughter.

Just as long as I'm not a bad person for not being able to get excited.

Just seen that you have been trying since 2012 for you BFP. With my daughter it took us 18 months before we finally got what we wanted. It was when we finally agreed to stop trying that it finally happened. Don't give up, and try not to stress or over think it.

 

[Kadiya]

I think you're completely normal and shouldn't feel guilty. I am still waiting to be excited for this pregnancy, it makes it hard to when you've had recurrent loss. My OH has actually been happy and luckily been able to reassure me but I've been on the verge of tears some days. We had an u/s last week which showed things were actually really good but I'm still concerned it definitely didn't help that all my symptoms except bigger bbs went away either but luckily for me that last u/s was right after they disappeared too.

 

[Claire788]

I know what you mean, I've had 2 MC's and cant get excited, I'm nearly 29 weeks, and have only told friends that I've seen (no FB announcements etc) haven't bought anything yet etc... I haven't really got my head around coming home with a baby, terrified to get excited - even though at this stage, I know chances of stillbirth etc are like 1%.... but I'm a glass half empty kind of person.


Don't feel bad about it at all, its completely normal considering your history xxx