School homework 12yr old !!!

[4 boys]

My son is 12 oldest and is in year 8 , hates doing homework!!
He's a bright child no problems with actual schoolwork he just doesn't want to do homework or even revise...
I'm explaining why and how important it is but feel like he don't care

Just a couple of questions

How much does your child get?
Do they revise at home even if no tests?
Do you help them or let them do it alone?
When they come home from school what does there evening involve??

Just interested in other teens (he 13 in February )

 

[OmarsMum]

I have 2 cousins (14 & 12). The 14 yrs old (grade 9) spends all day studying doing homework & revising, she panics on exam days & she doesnt sleep at night. Her sister (grade 7) is laid back but she do her homework, she doesnt revise everyday, she studies on quiz/ exam days only, & she goes to bed early on exam days. Both girls are A students but the 14 yrs old is competitive unlike her sister who's not so bothered about grades.

The younger girl spends all day reading books or on the net, her sister keeps bothering her mum when she's not studying.

Their mum doesnt help much in studying, she helps them in studying Arabic as it's their second language (English is their 1st language as they are Canadians & were raised in Canada when they were younger)

What's interesting is that the younger girl goes to mainstream classes for Arabs but her sister goes to special classes for non Arabs as she struggled with mainstream Arabic.

 

[4 boys]

Omar's mum-- thank you.

It's strange how they learn and are different in the Arabic classes every child is different and learn at there own pace..hope they do well in school my prayers are with them..

My 12 yr old hates maths but is getting really good grades but he's told me he finds it hard work wise he enjoys school and learning but at home he just doesn't have the interest obviously he's does homework but it a lot of pushing and nagging
I know it's going to get harder but I don't know how to help him he's my eldest so it's new for me
On the other hand my 9 yr son is too brainy he's in year 5 still primary school (UK) and he's doing work my 12 yr is doing ,they can't keep up with him at school.. He's very organised,quick at learning and does homework straight away. His grades are excellent,but I know when he's in upper school that could change there's more pressure but I just want to help my 12
My 12 is on hafiz at mosque he finds Arabic easy and is doing really well in mosque so he's opposite with his school work.
And 9yr old is already on hafiz a lot quicker than my eldest .. They both have different learning abilities just some are very awakward moments when it comes to homework
There main language is English but they also speak little Bangla and mosque it's Arabic and Bangla ..

 

[OmarsMum]

Masha'Allah, it sounds that you raised them well.

It sounds like he's panicking, you can have a talk with him, reassure him that he can do it, he doesn't have to be perfect in all subjects. It's not easy as he has a brother who's not struggling, I guess kids tend to compare their abilities with their siblings. If he needs help in a specific subject, can you consider a tutor?

You could start by getting him an organiser & help him to get organised, then set up a time for fun or an activity he likes. Speak to him openly & offer him help, encourage him to ask for help at home or from his teachers if he needs it.

What are his strengths? Does he have a hobby or something he likes? I'd work on that to build his confidence.

My 20 yrs old brother is having difficulties at uni, & he wanted to quit as he is expecting a low grade in a subject, he was panicking, I had a long talk with him, he was clueless & he ended up crying, I reassured him that it's ok if he doesnt get good grades in all subjects, but he should try harder next time, he loves photography, so I worked on that to build his confidence, I encouraged him to take more photos & start a FB page, it will help him to get organised as it's something he likes.

& try not to compare, they have different abilities, I think so far your eldest is doing great, but he just need some confidence in his abilities

 

[4 boys]

Thank you for you comforting words

I actually embraced Islam in 2000 I got married and have 4 sons.
My sons have made me so proud they love mosque my eldest is learning Bangla/ Arabic,which is so hard and as for mosque he's always there doesn't want to miss anything.. I know I shouldn't expect a lot but I just don't want him to suffer in school as that's whats going to get him through life, he is lacking confidence which has been a issue from a young age so we're trying slowly to improve but I know he can do it he just needs a boost.
I don't compare him with 9 yr old cos there abilities are sooo different like I mentioned befor his learning ability is fantastic to the point we can't keep up with him but our biggest hurdle is his behaviour he is very angry, always hits out, constant play fighting typical boy but it's been a long term problem since he was 3 so both have there own good&bad points...
But back to subject yeah will take your advise on board and have a good long chat see what's going on

So glad your brother took your advise and is doing well my payers are with you and your little one is a cutie marshallah

 

[River54]

My dd in middle school had a homework calendar - that said what subject to do homework/revise on what days, and the teachers were supposed to follow that. It didn't work for dd. She gets a few hours of homework/night. When exams are close, she will start to study for them a few days before, and try and pace out the studying.
I don't help her with her homework except for the occasional time when she doesn't understand what they are asking. And most of those times, I tell her to contact the teacher. Consequently, she goes and asks the teachers when she needs help with something. When she was younger, she was in French immersion, and I couldn't help her anyways, so she learned early on to go ask for help from teachers.
She doesn't do review except for when tests come up.
When she comes home from school, she makes herself a snack, has that, and gets out of her uniform to wind down. Then she starts on homework, has another break for dinner or to go to an activity, then usually ends up doing more homework after that, since she usually has a couple hours of homework/night. During exam week or harder tests, she has dinner in her room to continue with studying. She does take small breaks throughout the evening though.
She is responsible for balancing it all out.(She is in her last year) When she was younger, I'd help her plan out what she had, her estimated time it would take her etc. Got her a planner, and made sure she used it. Now she does it all on her own.

 

[OmarsMum]

Thank you for you comforting words

I actually embraced Islam in 2000 I got married and have 4 sons.
My sons have made me so proud they love mosque my eldest is learning Bangla/ Arabic,which is so hard and as for mosque he's always there doesn't want to miss anything.. I know I shouldn't expect a lot but I just don't want him to suffer in school as that's whats going to get him through life, he is lacking confidence which has been a issue from a young age so we're trying slowly to improve but I know he can do it he just needs a boost.
I don't compare him with 9 yr old cos there abilities are sooo different like I mentioned befor his learning ability is fantastic to the point we can't keep up with him but our biggest hurdle is his behaviour he is very angry, always hits out, constant play fighting typical boy but it's been a long term problem since he was 3 so both have there own good&bad points...
But back to subject yeah will take your advise on board and have a good long chat see what's going on

So glad your brother took your advise and is doing well my payers are with you and your little one is a cutie marshallah

Thanks hun

I really hope it gets better with your son, I guess with little encouragement to build his confidence he will be fine

 

[lozzy21]

Not got a teen but when I was at school homework had to be done before anything else. We could not watch TV etc till it was done.

 

[deafgal]

My son is in honor classes (as I always assume they give extra work) so it baffles me how it takes him 15-30 minutes to finish all his homeworks. Yet he still make excellent scores on his tests and such. Btw, he is 12 too.

Anyway, I have a rule of no tv or anything until after 4:30 (so he won't rush) and if he makes excellent grade, he gets to pick his own homework schedule as long he is done before certain time (8pm) and he can stay up 30 minutes later at night. if his grades start dropping....then I will make the schedule for him..

Anyway, maybe your son have certain issues that need to taken care of. It could be anything like needing glasses (my son have bad allergies and ezcema so it can make it hard on him). From my own experience as I severe to profound deaf in a mainstreamed school, Kids are less likely to homeworks if they struggle with it.

 

[JASMAK]

My son is 10 and we do about an hour or so a day, plus my kids get tutoring two hours Saturday and one hour on Sundays. Tutoring is more teaching. Homework is just getting assignments done. I recommend tutoring. People ask if my kids are behind...no, they are not. But they don't like to listen to me. I am not a teacher. They LOVE their tutors. They enjoy going and come home smiling. And, best of all, they get good marks.

 

[4 boys]

Thank you all

I'm looking into tutoring I know it's harder when they get older with schoolwork/homework, he really enjoys school I think he just doesn't want to bring the work load home they hardly get time to themselves. I also make sure work is done befor 8pm and after the holidays I'm going to talk with his teacher as they recently have changed all sets according to there levels, before say he'd be in sets 1&2 high sets but now they have put children in mix groups regardless how good they are and my sister in laws daughter in year 10 all top sets, but due to the change they have put her in sets with children that can't even speak English ( no offence to anyone) so the teacher focus more on them than her and now her work is starting to suffer

Will keep trying thanks again