Screaming constantly. Tried everything.

[Brightxeyes]

I am literally at breaking point now.

I've posted about this before. The first week it was very annoying hearing the loudest ear piercing screams (for no apparent reason or for any reason you could think of!) and we at first attempted to ignore. But by the end of the week the other half started shouting at him to stop.

He has stopped shouting at him, we've continued to try and ignore. We've put him in his cot as if to say you will not get our attention by screaming. He will literally do it for everything. I've tried covering his mouth cuz I heard that worked for some people.

Today I cracked, and I've shouted at him. So much my head hurts. I've had over a month of constant screaming. I work, and have been doing over time (over double the hours I usually do) and it feels like the only time I spend with him is him screaming. It's not like he isn't getting enough play time and attention. Yes, maybe he's bored of being in the house all of the time, but I literally cannot stretch myself any further. I am completely broke constantly, I don't earn enough to cover bills. My partner is self employed and works from home, he's having to cover the part that I can't, which is then making it look like he earns a lot more, but rather than put money back into business he's paying a lot more rent and bills. So my child tax credits have been reduced to practically £0.

With all the stress I have, and my son screaming on top of that I really think I am going to crack.

At this rate the neighbours are probably going to report us saying our child is screaming all god damn day. They also know our landlord so if they're unhappy with the screaming too they could just tell him and he could say he won't renew our contract just before bloody Christmas

I am so fed up its unreal.
This is not normal. I feel like I need to take him to the doctors because surely there is something wrong with him for him to scream so much.

Oh, and to top it off, I can't hold him where he's comfortable. He hates it. But when my other half holds him, he's golden. I swear he just hates me or something. Like I'm just not good enough.

 

[caitlyn2009]

I understand you are going through a hard time but the screaming is perfectly normal. My son does it when he is happy, mad, bored, excited, tired etc. my daughter was the same. I honestly don't believe he should be punished or put in his bed for something that most babies do. We taught my son to say shh and whenever he gets too loud I whisper to him and he will whisper his babbles back. It is a stage he will eventually grow out of. Just remember the louder the people around him the louder he will be.

 

[staralfur]

You said he screams for everything, is it mostly happy screaming? Mad screaming? Screaming because he thinks it's an interesting sound? Or a mix of all of it?

You said you think he might be bored in the house all the time... have you tried taking him out just for a walk or to the park or something? He could get his screams out in a place where it's appropriate and not as overwhelming. Just a few minutes of fresh air has always calmed my LO, too.

I would really steer clear of putting him in his crib as punishment as he'll start to associate it with negative feelings and it could make your life harder by introducing sleep problems. I actually wouldn't be punishing him at all, he doesn't understand why screaming is 'bad' so it's probably just confusing for him. Have you tried saying "shh" calmly and then speaking to him in a quiet voice? If you think he's doing it for attention then maybe try to calmly acknowledge that he needs/wants something from you, set the tone to be relaxed and non-stressful and you may notice that he mimicks your tone naturally.

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

I went through something very similar recently. Just screaming, and whining non stop. Unless I was somewhere else, like my mils house or just at the grocery store, he was just unhappy. I wasn't handling it very well, especially as we had just moved and I had a ton on my plate and a screaming needy baby. The longer it went on the more irritated I was getting, and mad and just sooo over it. I didn't even want to be in the same room as my baby, I almost resented him and just wanted to go away for a little bit. The worse I felt and the more irritated I got the worse ds got. I felt like I was just fighting a losing battle!

Then, it sort of clicked that he was acting worse when I felt worse. My guess is I was projecting my bad feelings and negativity towards him and he was responding. I too thought he hated me, because I couldn't make him happy.

Once I started just generally being more positive, and it's not exactly easy, things started getting better. If he screamed or whined instead of groaning and moaning or ignoring him I would start doing things, like play with him or hold him. And I would just think thoughts of love instead of annoyance. Which can be hard, babies can be such annoying little creatures! Or I would sit with him while holding him on the couch and watch a program with him. Basically anything that would be fun, or entertaining or comforting in any way.

I still have off days, cause I'm human, but for the most part things have gotten so much calmer and happier all around.

And like the others said, don't punish him for screaming. He doesn't know it's wrong or understand that it's unpleasant. It's one of the only ways he knows how to communicate at this point and you are the example on teaching him the right time and place for screaming, or loud "speaking". By punishing him you're essentially telling him that making noise is wrong, and he can't differentiate that you mean only loud noises. To him it's all noises. So like others suggested, when he screams gently shh and then calmly talk to him in return.

Good luck and I hope things calm for you soon!

 

[Indi84]

I know it's awful, trust me. My son did the exact same thing, didn't matter if happy, sad, angry, excited, he did a high pitched scream.
All day. Friends and family would comment he was the highest pitch baby they had ever met, I called it the instant migraine. I had a headache for weeks on end.

You need a break mumma! You're re enforcing it in a very negative way, putting in the crib, hand over mouth etc, is there anyway you can have an afternoon/day off by letting a grandparent help out? Just drop him off go home and chill out.
Other things is to change the situation, if he starts the house, quick in the pram and go out for a walk, down the park, in the garden, switch toys, even go to a different room to play.
If you're struggling to find the time invite a friend over to take him out.
My son also went through a massive phase of only daddy would do, I mean like a nine month phase, I'm a sahm and we'd be together all day fine, then daddy would come home and he'd cry if i went near him, it was so hard!

 

[Brightxeyes]

I literally don't have friends. I haven't seen a friend in months and can't honestly call anyone a friend. My parents look after him two or three days a week when I have work. My inlaws can't have him (and they only used to have him when I had work anyway) because my father in law had a heart attack two weeks ago.

The house is a state so any free time I get is tidying up, but because he's screaming I am usually with the baba or feeding him so I tidy after he's gone to bed, but most of the time I'm too tired to do most of it.

Other half has enough on his plate with work:

I just hate working so many hours to be paid bugger all and have to stress about being able to afford rent and bills.

So all of that is getting on top of me. I also hate the house. The babas room is so tiny I have just managed to squeeze his cot, draws and a changing table in. He can open his draws because it's literally touching his cot. That's how tiny his room is.

It's also too expensive for the size I think but we were forced to move after our old landlord wanted to sell.

I just need the screaming to stop because I can't handle everything else that's happening. I literally don't have time to go to the park. It takes God knows how long to get ready to go anywhere with him. By the time he's ready he's hungry or needs another nappy change. It would take up one-two hours of my day which I literally do not have spare. I used to go on daily walks with him every day (not even to the park but around the area) but that's when I wasn't working:

My mom also won't be able to have him on Mondays and Thursday's due to hospital appointments. And guess what? Work has put me in for Monday's and Thursday's and I'm pretty sure my manager will not be very happy if I say so I'm just avoiding saying it and hoping we sort something.

I may as well quit my job because it's just impossible.

But then my boyfriend will have to pay all the rent and bills and his business would close down because he'd have no money.

So the screaming is the top of the iceberg pretty much.

 

[minties]

I don't have any advice as I don't think mine were screamers, they were just starting to walk at 11 months so concentrated on that (Thomas was a screamer at 3-5 months though). I just wanted to say that you have a lot on your plate, you poor thing, you must be so stressed out. You have my utmost sympathy. Kids and working is so hard, I'm hopefully returning to work soon and I don't know how I'm going to juggle everything.