Second child....experiences and age gap advice please

[angelbump]

Me and my partner are looking to try later in the year (july/august) my son is 3 in august and is from a previous relationship.
I am so scared of adding a 2nd child into our family and though i am excited to do it all again i fear for what my son will be like. He gets along great with my partner most of the time although is a little stroppy bum as lets face it he's 2 and has no idea why he isnt getting his own way every second of the day.
I fear how I'll manage to share myself between all 3 and have time for friends, family and work?
Is it as terrifying as I'm imagining? I'm scared of how the children will get along, space, stress and suffering with ocd and anxiety again (as previously did after son was born).
I've heard from friends its easier 2nd time round but i know this isnt the case for everyone.
Basically just after some reassurance and success stories of intergrated families and second children😊
Thanks in advance x

 

[Teri7489]

Our second came along making a 22 month age gap and it's great. First few weeks were the usual newborn madness but our little guy just fitted right in to our routine. Out daughter was included in everything so helped change change his bum, wash him all that and helped feed him expressed milk. They are now 3 and 17 months and best friends. I love watching them play together. Space wise we used to live in a one bedroom flat and all survived! Key is just being organised. We are now in a big 2 bed house and to be honest, it's just more to clean! lol. It's hard at times but you manage to share your time. initially i got my daughter to help out with things she could and other times she sat cuddling in to me whilst I fed her brother or she played on the floor with her dolly. I made sure to have time just us when her brother slept as I got one to one time with him during the night. I have PTSD after having my daughter during to a horrific delivery then prolonged severe baby blues but didn't have anything like that with my son. Only time will tell.

Sorry for the long post. Good luck with whatever you decide x

 

[angelbump]

Thank you so much for the reply! Its actually put me right at ease. I know its going to be hard regardless but nice to know that its normal for it to be a bit tough sometimes. Its more the time that i think worries me the most and how my little one will react. Hopefully he is fine and at the moment he is obsessed with babies and thinks theyre adorable so long may it continue xx

 

[Cariad_x]

My son is from a previous relationship and I was terrified when my partner and I decided to have a child. Yet Ollie is so so excited to meet his baby sister! He constantly cuddles by bump, rubs it, kisses it and asks when the baby will be here. He tells me all the things he wants to to and hasn't shown any worries.

I'm expecting some jealousy when she arrives but tbh I think that's the same with any addition to a new family. I'm more worried at how I'll find having two young children. Haha.

 

[angelbump]

Aww thats lovely, what will the age gap be between your two? I'm worried about having 2! How do you split your time between newborn, toddler and spouse? Just baffles me! I know women do it everyday with more but i just cant wrap my head around it! I guess it'll all somehow fall into place? X

 

[Cariad_x]

The baby is due 5 days before Ollie's 4th birthday - VERY bad planning on our part!

I'm. Not sure how it's going to work but I figure that so many women do it that it'll work itself out. I only work 3 days a week as I'm a nurse so I'm hoping that havibg 4 days off will help a little!

 

[angelbump]

Wow that is a close one...thats how i feel ...it just will.
Im currently studying childcare and voluntary working so hoping to have finished my course before falling pregnant. I also need to drive before second is born! These are my checklist before trying x

 

[Thegoodtwin]

DD will be 4 in April and I just had DS on the 8th. When we first told her she was going to be a sister she wasn't thrilled but by the end of my pregnancy she couldn't wait! Since he's been born she's been incredibly helpful getting mommy diapers and wipes and singing to brother when he cries. It's so precious. Our only problem is she's still adjusting to not having all the attention on her. Their father and I split in October so it's really just me trying to divide my attention which is nearly impossible with a newborn. She has more tantrums now and I'm assuming it's from her seeing her brother cry and I go running so she thinks it will work the same way? Hopefully in a few months she'll adjust