Second Trimester Losses - Now Open

[rossyrozela]

I have two children a girl 12 and a boy 7.
After trying for more children, for 4 years I was pleased to find I was pregnant, but last week at 21 weeks and 4 day pregnant I gave birth to my little boy. Because I was under 23 weeks medical staff would not help me keep the baby, and if he was born alive they would let him die.
I feel I was treated very poor by medical staff and to bad to go into but have been left with lots of questions about trying for more children. I now its early to think of this, I am not trying to replace my baby but fill the void left in my heart.
Is there anyone out there who has had a simliar experance.

hiya sorry to hear about your lost,i had to go through asurgical abortion to terminate my baby at 20 weeks and 5 days,like you i was treated very badly by the hospital,they basically told me to go online and look up Maristopes then book ,they never referred me there and didnt even give me aptint out of my scan (the 20 weeks one)i have put in acomplain and it has been over 25days and still no reponse,they had written to me to say they will get back to me not longer than 25 days.its been over 35days

 

[seralyn83]

I gave birth to a baby boy, whom I named Michael yesterday. I was 18 weeks along. The nurse I had was wonderful. The doctor tried to say I couldnt know if it was a boy or girl because at that stage in pregnancy it doesnt count. I was very upset by this. Michael was a very real part of our family by that point. I had felt him kick many times and thought that was a terrible thing to say. When the doctor left, the nurse allowed me to look over my sons little body and name him and grieve over him. Without her, it would have been much worse. I know I will have another baby when im feeling better, but I feel so empty. This is not the way its supposed to go. When your tummy is empty, your arms are supposed to be full. I dont know how to feel. My husband is also grieving and is having a hard time knowing what to do for me. Any comments will help. I know i am not the only woman to go through this, but I do feel very alone right now.

 

[mhazzab]

Seralyn- Left you a message on your other thread, I'm so glad you came over here.
I am so sorry for what has happened, it's just horrible and something nobody should have to go through.
I can't believe the doctor said it didn't matter what sex your baby was, of course it does, he is your son and always will be.
I remember the first few days being so so hard. It's been 9 months for me now but I still remember the pain all too well.
There's lots of lovely ladies in here who will be here for you. It may be worth you starting a new thread down below in the main bit, I dont think many people look in this thread and I don't want you to miss out on the support you need.

If you have any questions about what happens next / funeral / anything to do with your baby or ideas to make some memories of him please don't be scared to ask, either in the forum, or pm me.
Thinking of you xx

 

[seralyn83]

thank you so much, i dont know how to start a new thread.....Perhaps you could walk me thru it...

 

[mhazzab]

if you are posting from a PC...

if you look under this message, you will see
BabyandBump>Loss Support Forums>Second Trimester Losses.

Click on 'Second Trimester Losses'.

This will take you into the main second tri losses forum.

Then, look for a box somewhere near the top of the page that says 'New Thread'. this will open one up for you to write in.

if you can't get it to work let me know, and I can start one for you, to reply to.

xxx

 

[DueSeptember]

9 Days late...AHHHH

 

[Annie5]

I lost my baby yesterday at 19 weeks, it's still inside me and I'm waiting for things to progress. I feel like I'm going crazy as haven't really stopped crying and can't sleep/eat. As if loosing a baby wasn't hard enough I'm now waiting to deliver it, I'm so scared. Wish they could just knock me out, this is the cruelest thing I have ever experienced. I don't now how I'm still breathing, I feel numb and even with a supportive husband so alone.

 

[mhazzab]

I lost my baby yesterday at 19 weeks, it's still inside me and I'm waiting for things to progress. I feel like I'm going crazy as haven't really stopped crying and can't sleep/eat. As if loosing a baby wasn't hard enough I'm now waiting to deliver it, I'm so scared. Wish they could just knock me out, this is the cruelest thing I have ever experienced. I don't now how I'm still breathing, I feel numb and even with a supportive husband so alone.

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened to you. I lost twins at 23 weeks, almost ten months ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. For me, they were still alive when I was in labour, so i didn't have to deal with still carrying them when they had passed away. It is scary, but you will find a way through it.
You might get more replies to your message if you post a thread in the main part of the forum, not many people check this thread, I left instructions in the post above for someone else if you are struggling to find it. There's a good thread somewhere that describes things you can do, to make some memories of your baby, if you want to (I'll find the link and post it). I wouldn't have thought of doing any of this, so, if you feel strong enough, maybe you can read it before you go into hospital. thankfully my hospital were great and took photos, footprints and supplied a blanket / hats / toy but not everyone is so lucky. have you been told anything about what will happen next? xxx

 

[mhazzab]

https://www.babyandbump.com/stillbirths-neonatal-loss-sids/199243-ideas-memories-your-baby.html

how to make some memories of your baby xxx

 

[katesh79]

I lost my baby 8 days ago at nearly 18 weeks..we are having him cremated today, my son Henry David Lopez...The whole things doesnt feel real..we had to do IVF to conceieve I dont understand what has happened...

 

[Makky]

Loosing a baby is never easy, even if you have never seen them or touched them.The fact of the matter is that the baby shared everything with you while it was in your belly.Its been a year since I have lost my baby girl Zoe at 16W2d, I still get sad about it. I have lost 4 babies thus far but Zoe's loss is the one that hit me the hardest.I would love to be a mother one day but for now the fear of loosing yet another baby is too much to bear. Apparently I have incompetent Cervix and will need a cerclage next time I conceive, sad part is I don't know when that will be

 

[quirkyms]

I just wanna commend this forum on having very clear, expanded "topics". like waiting to conceive (after a m/c) and mid-trimester losses. its been 40-odd days since the 19 week loss that shattered my life. no warnings, completely unexpected, and till now, still no answers. ive been surfing and surfing for information and looking for support groups all over the internet for mid-trimester losses but there arent any. i cant quite relate to losses before 10 weeks, nor do i feel quite right in stillbirths threads. So, here we are, finally. im so grateful to find some support, some empathy. Coz life goes on normal for everyone else at large, your friends, parents, even your partner. even i act and look kinda normal most times. its only when im alone, on the bus home, taking a shower, before bedtime etc that i can indulge in my grief. Thank you.

 

[MsShona]

Thank you for this forum! I had my baby at 15w5days. Although the medical term is a miscarriage, I felt like it was very different. I mean I had labor; I had a tiny human form that came out of me; I had a boy. A week later, my head is just spinning. I keep thinking that it was something that I did wrong...even though you hear it all the time not to blame yourself. My 1st trimester was worrisome...with bleeding episodes, strong aversions to food and smells, and overwhelming fatigue. On top of that, we tried to conceive for 15 cycles before we finally did. It was always a relief to go into the doctor and hear the heartbeat on the doppler and see him wiggling on the ultrasound. Even up until my very last ultrasound (after my water broke), he still had a great hearbeat of 155 bpm and was wiggling around in the small amount of fluid he did have left.

It's just so devastating. Since I was in the 2nd trimester, I was getting to be more comfortable. I waited until the 12 week ultrasound to make a large-scale announcement. Now a month later...nothing. I'm also afraid of conceiving again. Just never imagined my luck would be this bad (I have no other children).

 

[Jadeamber]

I am so happy I stumbled across this page I finally feel I fit in after having two late miscarriages in the last 15 months my first at 23 weeks and my second on the 2 nd of June 14 at 21+4 weeks. I give birth naturally to both my little boys and feel that being placed in the miscarriage section breaks my heart because they where both close to the legal 24 weeks