Self appointed Maid of honor now this!

[jzgrace]

First of all just to give an idea of the relationship. My mom left my dad my twin brothers and I when I was two. So my father raised us. (And was an amazing father)
My mother went on to have two more children . Within the last 4 years (31 years after she left) ive been getting to know my mom and half sister. When I announced that I was getting married my mother said "you know your sister wants to be your maid of honor". So what could I do? I had to have her as maid of honor. Now that I am pregnant my mother says "you know who wants to be baby's God mother right? Your sister" ok this is where im getting annoyed. The girl is 30 years old, still lives with my mom, never had a job for more than a month, and refuses to work or go to school. Has my mom buy her EVERYTHING.And cant even take care of herself. So HOW on earth could she take on the responsibility if being a God mother to my child?? I am closer to my sil than to my half sister. And she is the one that I asked to be maid of honor and who I chose as God mother for my child. So now I have to tell my mother that my sister is just not the person who I would choose to take care of my children if (god forbid) anything happen to us. My mom and sister blow EVERYTHING out of proportion and take things WAY too personal. I dont know how to tell them. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!

 

[reeshy]

I probably just wouldn't even tell them and I'd choose the person I wanted to choose. It's not your place to be accommodating to them. It's weird that your mom even put you in that place and she is the one who should feel awkward, not you.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I think if it was me I'd just not mention the situation to them again, and then if you wish to have god parents go ahead and chose them

It's nobody else's business but yours who you choose to have as the godparent to your child.

 

[DocMcStuffins]

Agree with the others, I wouldn't tell your mum anything.

Just go ahead and ask whoever you choose to have as your baby's godparent and when the time comes your mum will find out who the godparent is like everyone else. It's really nothing to do with her and she certainly shouldn't be making you feel awkward about things. Why on earth she thinks that decision should have anything to do with her influence I don't know.

If she ever asks you why you didn't choose your half sister I'd just ask her why you should have!

X

 

[jzgrace]

I probably just wouldn't even tell them and I'd choose the person I wanted to choose. It's not your place to be accommodating to them. It's weird that your mom even put you in that place and she is the one who should feel awkward, not you.

That is what I thought too. You all are right im just going to ask my sil and leave it at that.I guess I should keep in mind that she has no space to demand me to choose my sister when she brings it up again. Ty

 

[jzgrace]

I think if it was me I'd just not mention the situation to them again, and then if you wish to have god parents go ahead and chose them

It's nobody else's business but yours who you choose to have as the godparent to your child.

The funny thing is my mom is the one to bring it up. I steered clear of that subject purposely. It was even crazier when she kept hinting that if it were a girl I should name her after my mom and sister. It really makes me angry to think about considering all the crap she put my dad brothers and I through. I am going to just ask my sil and leave it at that. If they dont like it oh well.....right? ?

 

[jzgrace]

Agree with the others, I wouldn't tell your mum anything.

Just go ahead and ask whoever you choose to have as your baby's godparent and when the time comes your mum will find out who the godparent is like everyone else. It's really nothing to do with her and she certainly shouldn't be making you feel awkward about things. Why on earth she thinks that decision should have anything to do with her influence I don't know.

If she ever asks you why you didn't choose your half sister I'd just ask her why you should have!

X

Exactly my thoughts! And I love that suggestion. I will have to use that question as my response. I love it, its so true. Thank you!

 

[Googiepie]

Agree with previous posters. It's your choice who you want to be the godparent to your child, your mom shouldn't have even mentioned it. I think it would mean less to me if I had to hint at someone to make me the godparent.

 

[jzgrace]

Agree with previous posters. It's your choice who you want to be the godparent to your child, your mom shouldn't have even mentioned it. I think it would mean less to me if I had to hint at someone to make me the godparent.

Yeah I would feel the same. I was raised to not pry or ask if someone wants to talk or has something to say they will. I just cant get used to anything different. Its almost offensive.