Self representing in court

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by Emsabub, Oct 27, 2018.

  1. Emsabub

    Emsabub Well-Known Member

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    does anyone know if this will be something difficult to do?
    My court date is coming up & im terrified of representing myself, even though my side is completely true & honest and I go a bit red/embarrassed when public speaking.
    Cafcass have done their phone call but the report won’t be ready for another week due to issues with kids from a previous relationship ex was banned from seeing, they need to cover all bases and the reasons why. I’m just super nervous!
     
  2. JessdueJan

    JessdueJan Single Mam to 3 & 2 Whippets

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    I have just been through the court process, it dragged on for 8 long months with 6 court hearings.
    I think representing yourself is do-able along as your are confident.
    I was a wreck, I knew my side was true and what was best for the children, I had cafcass in my corner and even then I just crumbled in the court room and would never have got my side across without the solicitor being there to speak on my behalf.

    If you have the confidence to keep composure under pressure then you will be just fine. Good luck.. I hope its resolved quickly and with the best
    possible outcome xx
     
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  3. LadySparkles

    LadySparkles Member

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    Yes it is doable. I’ve been through it but we had a solicitor and she did not. One thing we learned from her was to keep it factual. Do not say anything you can not back up with fact, it’ll discredit you. If you use only fact and have evidence, it’ll also help you to come across more confident. Good luck. It’s an awful stressful time, I feel your pain but it’ll be over soon. Just stick to truth and fact. Love and light xxx
     
  4. Emsabub

    Emsabub Well-Known Member

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    Thank you girls!
    My whole side is backed up because I’m proud to say I’ve done nothing wrong, it ended up with supervised contact for the duration of a Section 7 report to be produced.
    Back to court end of January! Luckily they accounted for baby’s due date early Jan so I don’t have to worry about going back with a newborn at home !
     
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  5. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

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    ETA: just saw your update! Glad to hear things went well and it does sound like you are holding your own. Keep it up, strong momma!
    ——
    Absolutely not! I grew up around lawyers, and they have a saying, “The man who represents himself has a fool for a client.” Family court is awful and full of intricacies. I have been in and out of court for nearly a year with my ex. I had a crap lawyer and fired him and got a new one. She is on fire! She knows the ins and outs of the laws to protect my son, she does the talking, and I cannot imagine going into something as important as the physical protection and financial support of my so without a lawyer, and I have a pretty good background in law from working for my stepdad’s law office.

    Does he have a lawyer?

    But honestly, no. Get a lawyer. Call your stare bar for free references, and free 30m-hour long consults from one or two attorneys. Ask a friend for a reference. Work out a payment plan. I got mine through my friend, so she gave me a discount. She has dropped her rates multiple times and offered payment plans as well.

    I have spent over $20k in attorney’s fees, and I don’t regret it. Because I have seen what going in alone or with a bad lawyer can do. But my ex hired a very knowledgeable, expensive attorney himself.
     
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  6. Emsabub

    Emsabub Well-Known Member

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    So sorry Dobby I've only just seen this!

    Yes, he does have a solicitor/lawyer. He's not paying for it though which aggravates me so much! I am in no position at all to get one either, no where is doing free advice so I have to settle for the Citizens Advice Bureau, even if they can't represent me that's ok.

    Latest update is I am meeting with Cafcass in just over a week, they want to discuss everything and eventually want to see our daughter, though she is only two so I'm really unsure what they can do. She isn't really speaking proper sentences nor knows what she's on about!
    It just keeps coming back to me about his past and why shouldn't my child be protected when his previous two were? It doesn't matter how long ago these things happened they still did, like they say once a cheat always a cheat but in a different sense :evil:
     

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