selfish worries of a first time mom-to-be. Plus, constant crying is back! >.<

[thecurlymama]

1 ) Scared of losing my sex life with OH ! Him and I have a very healthy, very active sex life (obviously, we managed to conceive this little man while I was on birth control!), but I keep reading about how having a baby ruins couples' sex lives. Ah, I know it's a little silly, but I plan on staying with my OH, and probably tying the knot one of these days, and I believe that a healthy sex life is almost a key part of a healthy relationship (for us, anyway!). Right now everything is fine- other than a break for about a week and a half to heal up a yeast infection- we have been just as (if not more) active, and it's just as good (if not better), but I'm scared that after we have a kiddo something is just going to go wrong! Maybe I should just stop reading magazines, but I'm legitimately worried that OH won't be attracted to me or we won't be as passionate anymore . Stupid stupid stupid !

2) MY POOR VAGINA HAS TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH! I know, I know, they are made to squeeze out babies and be okay, but I'm so scared of tearing or having my vagina be, well, "loose". I know there are kegals[spelling?] (which I already do regularly). But honestly, I'm already a little bit self conscious about the way I look down there- I suppose everybody's different and OH doesn't have any complaints but it's actually really hard for me to (TMI!) let him go down on me when the light is on and he has a clear eye-shot of the business and I'm afraid it's just gonna get worse after I give birth. Of course it's worth it for my baby boy, but damn! It's really buggin' me!

3) The stupid f'cking crying from first trimester is back! OOH YEAH, full fledged tears everytime OH tells me he's not coming over, or that he's busy. Sobs when I spill something, the waterworks flow heavy when I watch a cute movie, and whenever I think about how much I already love our baby- just soo many fucking crying sessions!

Really needed to rant. My mom is sick of hearing about my vaginal concerns and honestly I'm not sure if she's very comfortable discussing the topic of my sex life haha! Sorry mom!! ;D

 

[teenmommy15]

I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY!!!.. my OH asked me if sex was gonna be the same after the babys born and i couldnt answer because what if its not, will we not have sex anymore? will our relationship become dry and bland? will our relationship never be the same. will we be more distant? i mean ive had this conversation with him and he says he'll always find me attractive and no matter how different things get our sex life will always be the same. but it just worries me a bit. im very insecure with him going down their to especially when the lights on and he always thought my insecurities were cute but it just idk. And for the crying thats all i do, about everything if i walk home and the house is a mess or something i'll just ball. I guess its just our hormones acting up and your beautiful so dont think your OH wont ever be attracted to you again and if your really concerned talk to him about it he may be able to reassure you.

 

[thecurlymama]

Thanks Beth, good to know I'm not the only one! I plan on being open with him about my insecurities, although that alone is hard for me because he says what he likes about me is my self confidence and that I'm not self conscious
And honestly, I've always backed him up on that, because usually I'm relatively OK with myself, even the flaws, but eek! I'm feeling very flustered and worried these days

And as far as the crying goes, I feel like a lunatic!! bah!!

 

[teenmommy15]

Yeah i know how it is, im generally classified as a stong person and not caring what anyone thinks which are both very true but when it comes to marcus sometimes i just feel so self conscious around him sometimes.

I know, i feel like im losing the last bit of sanity i have left.

 

[MommyGrim]

Me and OH's sex life is still pretty great and we have a toddler with sex-dar! You may not feel like it right afterwards but it really doesn't changed that much (at least it didn't for me)
Also I found this article about childbirth and sex

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/post-natal/sex-after-childbirth#.UUvQXByk87c

Hope that makes you feel better!

(BTW I had a vaginal birth (and ripped pretty bad) and mine is just fine! OH said it's no different)

 

[thecurlymama]

Me and OH's sex life is still pretty great and we have a toddler with sex-dar! You may not feel like it right afterwards but it really doesn't changed that much (at least it didn't for me)
Also I found this article about childbirth and sex

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/post-natal/sex-after-childbirth#.UUvQXByk87c

Hope that makes you feel better!

(BTW I had a vaginal birth (and ripped pretty bad) and mine is just fine! OH said it's no different)

Thank you thank you thank you! Very good to know! I hope same goes for me And I'm looking forward to reading the article .

Beth- I can understand that! I'm normally really comfortable around my OH (Myles), but since I've gotten pregnant there's a little bit more nervousness and worry about, well, everything! Luckily he's a sweetie pie and doesn't judge me and reassures me constantly how much he loves me and how sexy I am, but shit! When a lady is set on something she is SET!

 

[jozylynn896]

Only thing my OH is concerned about is not being acme to cum in me. Lol.
Sorry tmi. But I'm not insecure about many body at all with my OH. I used to be but not at all any more.
I know our sex lifewon't be too different except in the first couple of months if i tear or just feel gross.
Which according to him is fine just as long as i do "other things"-____- men.

 

[haydenmummy]

After I had my son we done it after 6 weeks and I had a 3 degree tear and all my stitches fell out and was very painfull our sex life did vanish for a few months due to being so tired I just wanted to sleep but when my son was about 5-6 months we was doing it 3-4 times a week then with my daughter we done it 7 weeks after as I had a c-section and she is 17 weeks today and we don't really have a sex life me have only had sex about 10 times in 17 weeks but I know it will change once lil one startes sleeping more as I'm so tired my lil boy goes bed at 7 and aleia goes bed at 8 after getting a bath tiding up and doing bottles its 11 and I just wanna sleep haha aleia will then wake up about 2 then 6 and my son gets up at 6 too so its early starts for me but everyone is diffeent xx

 

[xforuiholdonx]

Your vagina is actually tighter after you give birth, not looser :hehe:
Your sex life is really what you make it. After dd we returned to normal every day, every other day sex. Right now, its dowb to maybe twice a week because i just get to sensitive and swollen down there after sex (tmi) while pregnant.
Crying is also.normal

 

[Caitie44]

Oh God, I feel the exact same way about everything! I've always been a bit self-conscious about myself, which I know is ridiculous and everyone should be confident about themselves. Luckily OH is very, very supportive about it all - if he wasn't, he'd probably have freaked out on me by now. I think he just likes being the "hero rescuing the damsel" and being protective. We really haven't discussed our sex life after LO gets here - I think it's more of an unspoken agreement on what will happen, and him trying to get as much before then.

As for the crying, I'm crying all the time. The first big meltdown was actually in the middle of having sex. Talk about a mood killer... Poor OH had no idea what was going on. He kept saying "Are you hurt? What's wrong???" while I was bawling like a baby. Also, cute stories, sad stories, kids movies, things that make me mad, being embarrassed... Pretty much anything makes me cry. I was watching Balto the other night and had to get up to compose myself before I could finish watching it. The fact I'm only 10 weeks terrifies me, lol, I'm going to be an emotional wreck by the end of this pregnancy.

 

[lizmageeful]

Im so worried about that too! Me and OH didnt have a super active sex life pre-pregnancy because we were worried about, well, getting pregnant! ever since its been awesome because we havent had that worry! im just scared were gonna be even more prude-ish after baby cause we dont want another one any time soon!

 

[PregnantTeena]

Hey hun. i'm going through the same thing. Been constantly crying.. and everything.. I noticed your in Washington;. I am also in Washington. I live in Vancouver is that anywhere close? if you need anything you can add me. We'll keep in touch

 

[ClairAye]

Our sex life is definitely not the same, but it's not bad!

Plus after childbirth the vagina actually goes back to normal, I feel tighter than I was before I had a baby!

And constant crying is just normal lol, I could cry over the smallest things, even in public

 

[thecurlymama]

Hey hun. i'm going through the same thing. Been constantly crying.. and everything.. I noticed your in Washington;. I am also in Washington. I live in Vancouver is that anywhere close? if you need anything you can add me. We'll keep in touch

Hey! I live in Bellingham, so I don't think that's very close (?) I think I commented about you being close in one of your older posts. Thank you so much, though!


And thank you to everybody! I'm sorry that you all are going through this or ever have, because it's awful! But it does feel good to know I'm not the only one

 

[PregnantTeena]

Well thank you. i live closer to oregon /: but if you need anything let me know

 

[thecurlymama]

Well thank you. i live closer to oregon /: but if you need anything let me know

Thank you! I will . It means a lot

 

[17pregnant]

You are definitely not alone hun! Like you I have a very active sex life and am worried, but have been reassured by many all will be ok Haha as for the crying, i'm only in first trimester and I really can't stop! I just have to tell myself, it's alright, it's just baby hormones hehe

 

[thecurlymama]

You are definitely not alone hun! Like you I have a very active sex life and am worried, but have been reassured by many all will be ok Haha as for the crying, i'm only in first trimester and I really can't stop! I just have to tell myself, it's alright, it's just baby hormones hehe

Honestly I'm just scared that I won't feel sexy, and if I don't feel attractive how can I please my man? I know that sounds a little bit silly, but, seriously... I feel like being confident in myself is how I enjoy getting him off, and one of the most attractive components of being with him is that he feels good about himself when he's doing things to/with me... ah I don't know, I'm totally overthinking the whole thing but I just can't help it!!

The crying went away for most of second tri, but oooh its back and it's like a goddamn flood! sheesh I feel crazy.

 

[17pregnant]

Oh babe! This may sound totally strange but even though we may not feel sexy, which is understandable being big, the hormones we produce apparently are really attractive? And I totally see where your coming from I don't know if your OH reassures you your still sexy, but mine does, and he said I always will be no matter what size I get. We just gotta learn to believe it! Yeah my OH is the same as yours, and he still actually feels good about himself because to him i'm still the same and will always be the same. I'm not that big yet, only in my first try, but I am definitely getting bigger, I used to be tiny, and it's hard for me but OH doesn't mind one bit.

You give me hope about the crying haha! It does make you feel crazy hey. The other day, I was listening to a song, I can't even remember what song and I burst into tears haha. And whenever I pick my OH up from work, I start blubbing cos i'm so happy to see him lol, its sooo embarrassing.