Selling / giving away toys... why do I feel so guilty?

[Marie000]

I am going through my stuff and I really want to downsize our lives. We will be moving soon, probably to a smaller apartment.

One thing I am having a lot of trouble getting rid of is toys, in part because they are not mine. My daughter is too young to decide what she wants to keep... and I feel bad choosing for her. But mostly, I feel horrible selling or giving away toys that were given to us as a gift.

Would you be mad at someone if they got rid of a toy you gave them a year earlier? Or more recently?

For example, my brother and his family gave Ariane a big bag of foam blocks last year. And recently, they gave us some duplo blocks they didn't need anymore. Ariane already had some wooden blocks and some mega blocks. How many sets of blocks does a girl need?

 

[tommyg]

I personally would keep the duplo but I'd reconsider the foam and wooden blocks. But that also depends if she still plays with them.
I think people do understand at this stage that LOs do out grow things, and that is the reason why so many people pass toys on either to others or the charity shop.
Today I have cleared a bundle of books, and can't decide what I should store for baby2 and what I should pass on.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I defiently wouldn't be mad at anyone, mainly because I understand having too many toys and also how quickly they grow out of them. Mine quite often have different likes from one month too the next.

I understand though, we've probably got about two barrels of toys that we don't really need just because I don't want to give them away, somehow I always manage to find some sentimental meaning to them that no one else quite gets lol

 

[jd83]

I clear out toys a few times a year, but I kind of have to or we'd have no room for new birthday and holiday toys. They have way too many toys. I usually pass toys on to my nephews or sell them really cheap to mommies in my neighborhood.

 

[FAB mama]

I feel like you. I'm awful at getting rid of things and I get so sentimental! We have a lot of attic space left in our house though so there's room for those things if they can tolerate the heat. I may get rid of some things but I also want more kids so I don't want to throw out too much!

I think if LO hasn't played with it much or if it's annoying and not educational or was bought second-hand I'll be more likely to get rid of it.

Out of the blocks if you need to downsize, I'd keep the duplo and wooden blocks. I don't find that much can be done with mega bloks and especially not with the foam. I wish I hadn't gotten LO so many mega bloks. I think the duplo will be more appropriate as he grows. The wooden blocks are nice for practicing balancing at this age. As you can tell, we also have lots of blocks!!

 

[Yo_Yo]

You definitely need to keep the amount if toys you have in check-we have a double room as a playroom, and it's wall to wall with toys!! And that's after a major clear out! They can take over your house if your not careful, so don't feel bad at all.

 

[Ceejay123]

Gosh no! I always feel better because I tend to give Riley's toys to family! Though now I'm going to have to keep a fair few -.- SO MUCH SPACE !

 

[sethsmummy]

DO NOT FEEL GUILT! haha i kept ALL of ds1's toys and now i need to do a serious serious clear out! I have toys everywhere in every room. people wont mind and at the end of the day if you sell them you can put it towards new toys for L/o that reflects what she is interested in or her stage of learning .. or put it towards her christmas xx

 

[BabyMamma93]

hmm.. my OHs dad and his OH have 2 kids, she is a serial seller, she buys stuff and sells it a week later..
we bought my OHs brother his first pair of walking trainers, he wore them once she sold them, fair enough they grow out quick, but IMO it would have been nice if they had of asked seen as we paid like £60 for them, plus she sold them, then had another LB.. they did the same with a jacket my OH gave his dad, he didnt like i so she advertised it for sale until i messaged her..
as for a toy id bought them.. i think i would be pretty pissed, not at the fact its for sale, but it annoys me how someone makes money out of things YOU bought, if they were taken to a charity shop, or childrens hospital i wouldnt be mad at all..

 

[jd83]

hmm.. my OHs dad and his OH have 2 kids, she is a serial seller, she buys stuff and sells it a week later..
we bought my OHs brother his first pair of walking trainers, he wore them once she sold them, fair enough they grow out quick, but IMO it would have been nice if they had of asked seen as we paid like £60 for them, plus she sold them, then had another LB.. they did the same with a jacket my OH gave his dad, he didnt like i so she advertised it for sale until i messaged her..
as for a toy id bought them.. i think i would be pretty pissed, not at the fact its for sale, but it annoys me how someone makes money out of things YOU bought, if they were taken to a charity shop, or childrens hospital i wouldnt be mad at all..

Hmm..this I don't really get I guess. I can see in your example, yes, as it seems she doesn't even properly use it first so that's annoying to have your money wasted. But things that I sell, personally, that have been gifts, were well used/well loved by my kids. Me selling them is because they no longer use/need them, and the money goes towards other things they need, like bigger sized clothing. I donate plenty to others, as well, though. I don't sell everything.

 

[tommyg]

Babymamma I understand your frustration. I'd take it that you and Mil have totally different tastes. I think in future I'd lower my budget and give gift receipts. Allowing her to discreetly return stuff for the full value and get something she does like and will use. I'd hate my money to be wasted like that.

 

[sethsmummy]

hmm.. my OHs dad and his OH have 2 kids, she is a serial seller, she buys stuff and sells it a week later..
we bought my OHs brother his first pair of walking trainers, he wore them once she sold them, fair enough they grow out quick, but IMO it would have been nice if they had of asked seen as we paid like £60 for them, plus she sold them, then had another LB.. they did the same with a jacket my OH gave his dad, he didnt like i so she advertised it for sale until i messaged her..
as for a toy id bought them.. i think i would be pretty pissed, not at the fact its for sale, but it annoys me how someone makes money out of things YOU bought, if they were taken to a charity shop, or childrens hospital i wouldnt be mad at all..

I can understand the whole being a little angry since things don't seem to be used before they are sold. But at the end of the day you don't buy gifts for people and then expect to be asked what they are allowed to do with them. It is a gift... not a loan of an item. Once you give someone a gift you have no say or rights over it.

Sounds like you need to do what pp said, lower what you spend and maybe ask what they need/styles they like before buying to avoid buying them things they don't like or are going to grow out of fast. My little boy grew out of his first walking shoes in a couple weeks. They're no good to me just sat around so yes I would consider selling them regardless of price/ who they come from.

 

[RaspberryK]

We have kept a lot of things for future children, if we do sell anything especially gifts, I prefer to use the money made to put towards something for him.
Xx

 

[maryp0ppins]

hmm.. my OHs dad and his OH have 2 kids, she is a serial seller, she buys stuff and sells it a week later..
we bought my OHs brother his first pair of walking trainers, he wore them once she sold them, fair enough they grow out quick, but IMO it would have been nice if they had of asked seen as we paid like £60 for them, plus she sold them, then had another LB.. they did the same with a jacket my OH gave his dad, he didnt like i so she advertised it for sale until i messaged her..
as for a toy id bought them.. i think i would be pretty pissed, not at the fact its for sale, but it annoys me how someone makes money out of things YOU bought, if they were taken to a charity shop, or childrens hospital i wouldnt be mad at all..

A gift doesn't come with conditions. ...you gave it to them, it is now tbeirs, you cant tell them what to do with it!

Op I would keep what you need and donate or sell the rest.

 

[amazed]

I sell on now to buy new ones for the kids

 

[Redfraggle]

I wouldn't expect anyone to keep something I'd bought for their lo forever, they grow so quickly it is obvious presents will be eventually sold on or given away. Everyone I know who sells their lo's toys or clothes use that money to buy something new lo needs/wants so its like a gift that keeps on giving!!

 

[BabyMamma93]

im not saying people should keep them, everyones different if someone bought me something i wouldnt sell it, id much rather give it away, i personally would feel guilty if i sold something someone bought me, but thats my opinion, like i say everyones different

 

[jd83]

im not saying people should keep them, everyones different if someone bought me something i wouldnt sell it, id much rather give it away, i personally would feel guilty if i sold something someone bought me, but thats my opinion, like i say everyones different

I guess for me, when it comes to the point of doing a clear out of things we don't need/use anymore, I couldn't tell you who bought them. Whether I did, or someone else did. I don't keep track of gifts indefinitely, there are just too many kids items to do that.

 

[BabyMamma93]

i understand what people are saying about selling toys, i would get more pleasure out of giving them to a childrens hospital or nursery

 

[tallybee]

im not saying people should keep them, everyones different if someone bought me something i wouldnt sell it, id much rather give it away, i personally would feel guilty if i sold something someone bought me, but thats my opinion, like i say everyones different

I guess for me, when it comes to the point of doing a clear out of things we don't need/use anymore, I couldn't tell you who bought them. Whether I did, or someone else did. I don't keep track of gifts indefinitely, there are just too many kids items to do that.

I'm the same, I can never remember what came from where lol.