RoseNoire
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- Feb 18, 2013
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I'm having a lot of jealousy issues/confusion right now over my unofficially soon-to-be SIL (they aren't officially engaged - yet 
).
The back story is that I married my dh 6 months ago, and we started ttc a few months before that. Out of three brothers, we were the first to be married, and I would have the first grandchild. Here we are, 8 months later and still no bfp :/ And on top of that, my unofficial SIL (who is still in high school) is not on bc anymore and could become pregnant before me! I am still getting to know her and we are becoming really close. Right now I feel like we are heading towards having a really amazing relationship, but the idea of her stealing my thunder is killing me inside. I would love to have an amazing, close relationship with her, but I feel like if she became pregnant before me, it would put more strain on me than I could handle. I just start thinking of the complete and utter unfairness of it all! I'm out of high school, I'm married, I should have the first grandchild! I have these nightmares where she is pregnant and I'm not and I wake up crying.
I wish nothing but the best for her, and I would love for her to become pregnant shortly after me, but if she got pregnant first... and I don't feel any hatred towards her, just the idea/scenario. It makes me feel like something is horribly wrong with me that I can't get pregnant, and that I feel this way about the possibility of her getting pregnant. I grew up with 4 brothers, but because of serious problems with my mother, I am cut off from most of my family. How do I deal with my feelings about this so I don't jeopardize my much cherished relationship with her?
).The back story is that I married my dh 6 months ago, and we started ttc a few months before that. Out of three brothers, we were the first to be married, and I would have the first grandchild. Here we are, 8 months later and still no bfp :/ And on top of that, my unofficial SIL (who is still in high school) is not on bc anymore and could become pregnant before me! I am still getting to know her and we are becoming really close. Right now I feel like we are heading towards having a really amazing relationship, but the idea of her stealing my thunder is killing me inside. I would love to have an amazing, close relationship with her, but I feel like if she became pregnant before me, it would put more strain on me than I could handle. I just start thinking of the complete and utter unfairness of it all! I'm out of high school, I'm married, I should have the first grandchild! I have these nightmares where she is pregnant and I'm not and I wake up crying.
I wish nothing but the best for her, and I would love for her to become pregnant shortly after me, but if she got pregnant first... and I don't feel any hatred towards her, just the idea/scenario. It makes me feel like something is horribly wrong with me that I can't get pregnant, and that I feel this way about the possibility of her getting pregnant. I grew up with 4 brothers, but because of serious problems with my mother, I am cut off from most of my family. How do I deal with my feelings about this so I don't jeopardize my much cherished relationship with her?
