Sex after baby.

[MacNYellow]

This may be TMI but I'm desperate for advice. My DH and I tried having intercourse a couple of times when our LO turned 8 weeks. It hurt so bad I had to stop him both times before he was even all the way in. We used lots of lube but it's like there wasn't enough room for him anymore! I had a tear during birth and stitches so is it scar tissue that needs to stretch? Did anyone else have this issue and overcame it?

 

[lau86]

I had a second degree tear both times but sex was much more painful with my eldest. It's normal if you've had a tear and stitches. You've just got to take it slow, I think some of it in my case was psychological too as I was nervous about pain and it was a bit weird having just had a baby.

 

[Oasis717]

Yes I agree I think you think its going to hurt and tense up making it harder for penetration and more painful, I know its difficult but try to relax, I tore with my eldest v badly and I ended up needed further surgery some years down the line as believe it or not I was stitched up too tightly, please don't let that worry you as it was some 23 years ago now and thankfully things have moved on, I did have a large episiotomy with my next then I also tore with my now 9 month old, we resumed bd at 9 weeks but it still hurt so we left it a further 3 weeks and the next time was absolutely fine xxxx

 

[tristansmum]

Yep I had second degree tear. Tried at 8/9 weeks and it was basically impossible to get him in. Left it a few weeks and tried again.Still really painful but ggot in. For a long time initial penetration hurt but then it was ok. This got better after maybe. 6 months. I agree that alot of it was me expecting pain and tensing up. Try try try to relax.... Deep breathing, loads of lube and go slow. X

 

[RLK]

Trying to get it in is the most painful part! Once its in, and then you begin you relax its much easier! 12 weeks pp and it still hurts to go in, but after a couple of mins it's great

 

[tubs]

For me, when baby was about 6 months it's started to feel a bit normal. Still always a little painful at start though.

 

[Snufflepop]

Nearly 4 months pp here ( 2nd degree tear and stitches) and still a bit painful, especially the initial getting him in. Agree that maybe I am making it worse by anticipating that it will hurt and then tensing up so am trying to relax/breathe etc.

We want to ttc no2 in jan so need to get it sorted by then !

 

[Coco Tutu]

yup, it was painful for me too. We tried at 6 weeks but stopped, because I hurt too much. But once the midwife checked my stitches and told me that they have healed beautifully and there was no chance of tearing, we tried again. I was more relaxed. It still hurt quite a bit the first minute, but it was fine after that. Try out position that allow you to control the rhythm and depth. And just tell your partner that you are a bit anxious about it, so he can take some extra time with foreplay

 

[babytobe]

Oh I'm so glad I'm not the only one!....

I was thinking that I should be completely healed by 6 weeks. But here I am after 10 weeks postpartum and we only tried for the first time yesterday. It hurt too much to keep going after penetration started, but I'm not too concerned because I think it just needs a little more time. I had first degree tears, but they were complicated and the doctor took an hour to stitch me up. I tried to stay relaxed during sex and I think that did help open things up, but when it hurts... it hurts! I think we'll wait another week and try again.

Oh the joys. And I know someone who had sex less than a week after! No tearing of course..... I just can't imagine!

 

[princess2406]

I had a 3rd degree tear and have a lot of scar tissue. I remember it being so painful and sore for the first few months, we tried 6-8 weeks pp. just take your time and eventually it does get easier, lube is a must!