Sex not fun.. :(

[claudia_ann]

Ok.. so this may be TMI but I don't know where to turn. OH and I have been trying for 9 months now. Having a hard go of it lately because all we think about is babies and everyone around us seems to be pregnant or have a baby and we just get sad now wondering whether it will ever be our turn.

Our newest problem is last night, we were BDing and neither one of us was into it. HOW BAD IS THAT!!! We couldn't even finish because we knew neither was into it and it just wouldn't happen. We both felt like shit afterwards and I felt horrible. We talked a little about it but I'm still feeling like crap. We have a really great loving relationship and are absolutely attracted to each other. I just don't know what to do. It just seems like sex has become a chore in some ways and to make matters worse, we've been dissappointed so much that in some ways I almost feel like I'm starting to resent the act itself because its not getting me pregnant. How FKed is that? We both want to continue to try. My ovulation date is set for Friday so we don't want to miss our chance... but I'm worried that this will happen to us again.

Is anyone else going or have gone through the same thing? Am I the only idiot who does this??

 

[KiraLeigh]

I know how you feel hunny, the problem is something you used to do as a form of pleasure has become a mechanical act that's only there to serve the purpose of getting you pregnant.

I have been trying for a little over 2 and a half years and sex does become routine. You need to rediscover the things you loved about sex. As does your partner. Perhaps recall a mindblowing sex session you've shared in the past and try to recreate it, or even better, try to top it! If you've liked the idea of something for a while (perhaps roleplay, or sensual deep love making with candles, massage oil, sexy lingerie, feathers, ice the works!

Don't have sex from now til Friday, just write each other sexy little notes till then, tell him what you are going to do to him, tell him what you want him to do to you and so on. Buy something that makes you feel sexy and just blow his mind with how sexy you are and how into him you are.

I can promise, Friday will have so much sexual tension you wont be thinking about the fact you are ovulating.

When you finish try to keep him inside you for atleast a few minutes or until he's fully flaccid as it's a known fact that conception is more likely if you feel love and closeness. xx

 

[Sparkles237]

i've got the same problem right now, our sex life use to be brilliant but this month as we've hit our 13month trying we really have hit a brick wall last night neither of us wanted it i managed to try and put it off for a few days saying my period was longer then normal cos i just couldn't bare doing it, last night even thought we did it and he managed to finished he said himself his heart wasn't into it just like me, hopefully we pass this phase quickly

 

[kcsandoval]

My DH also had that talk with me before we even started to think about having a baby. Sometimes we forget that they feel it too. I have been trying for a while now and I tend to vent on this site than him. If he talks about it, of course I respond with millions of idea, but I try to reframe myself from boring my husband with baby talk. They are men, and, well, they love the sex, not the work. So, when I predict I'm ovulating, I create comfort for him: I make strawberry with fondue, have a warm water running for him (after he finishes showering, he has more energy) and when he's in the shower, run to the room and wear sexy clothes for him. I know this might be TMI, but I pleasure him orally (what man does not like that) and after that, he is ready to go. You have to find what your man likes and stop looking at the watch/calendar and run to him to tell him your ovulating and start to have sex.

We all have it different, but remember ladies, we married these men because they love us, why not make them have fun while we are TTC. Just my 2 cents.

I'm extremely worried and tell my DH (future, we are getting married this month) that I have an apt on 5/28 with the OBGYN, and he just tells me, "Cool, hopefully they have good news for us!"

 

[PlainBoppli]

That happened to me and hubby a few days ago. It was not fun..nor romantic..at all. He pretty much was like 'get on your back'.
Doesn't that make ya just swoon ladies? LOL.
Considering neither of us were in the mood for it I was glad it didn't last long.

What happened to the foreplay, the carressing, the touching... making out...

He expects me to get him aroused, which I don't mind of course, but um, hello...what about 'lil' ole me over here...

Sigh....hubbies...what would we do without them... =)

 

[welshgirl21]

Maybe try having a 'date night' on Friday? Go out or cook a romantic dinner with candles and talk about anything but babies, remember why you fell in love in the first place, then come home, wear something that makes you feel sexy and it will be totally different as you will be relaxed and connected as a couple.

 

[monalisa81]

nice lace lingerie, corsets, babydolls and heels work like a charm hun
also you may try to do it in another room for a change xx

 

[claudia_ann]

He came home today with flowers and little candy hearts that say I love you. We talked a little more and agreed that we need to bring more romance back into it. And we are going to have a date night on Friday night too. I think we both feel better and I'm realizing that even though we are on a mission we need to relax and enjoy each other too.
thanks for the replys ladies. its so nice to be able to vent on here.

 

[kcsandoval]

Don't know how your husband is, but if he is anything like my husband, then after seeing you in ANYTHING sexy, he will be begging for you to wear more stuff like that! On a daily basis...gotta love these men!!

 

[aquaria6]

So many of your posts claudia_ann I feel I could have written myself. DH and I also had a horrible bd experience this past weekend. I'm glad you and yours have worked things out and are feeling better.

 

[StranjeGirl]

Totally normal!! So many people complain about this and it has nothing to do with attraction etc. It has to do with needing to have sex to make a baby and sometimes you are tired etc, and you cant just do what you want and wait til tomorrow to bd. date night sounds like a great idea!

 

[dozydormouse]

Hope you sex up the sex to both your satisfaction!