Sex, pictures, wtf

[BlueFly]

I don't really know where to post this and don't want to talk to any of my friends about this so here goes

Bf and I are together almost 5 years, bought a house, have a puppy and are Ttc. We are generally very happy together. He has always wanted to have sex less then I have and I'm usually pretty okay with that. He also a little more vanilla then I am, which I can deal with.

A little while ago, I looked at a text conversation from his bet friend(yes I know I shouldn't have) and saw that his best friend constantly sends him pictures of half naked and naked girls. Some his best frien knows and some are just from the Internet. I also saw that they were both writing really crude things about what they wanted to do to the women as well.

We have had a really difficult year (nothing to do with is, in fact the things that happened made us want the house and baby together) and I have definitely gained some weight. I have never been small, but have always been considered quite attractive. He has never said those types of things to me, nothing even close. Seeing those pictures and the conversation between them has made me feel really insecure and disrespected.

Am I being sensitive or is this something I should be worried about?

I know men look at other women all the time, I guess it's the things he says that bugs me is the things he writes. Things he has never said about or to me

 

[Baby France]

I think I would bring it up with your OH.

I personally don't mind porn, but I would be extremely upset if I know that his best friend had sent him nude pictures of women that they knew...that is out of order and I'm pretty certain the girls wouldn't be too pleased either.

I would say something to him about how disgusted you are and how its affected you and your view of him.

 

[Bexivillian]

I have no problem with porn, and luckily my OH just isnt interested (tragic freaky porn when he was younger put him off )

I would not be happy seeing pictures of women they know naked on his phone. I think its really degrading.... Especially as they are saying what they'd like to do to them.....!!! But if you confront him you need to deal with the issue of invading his privacy.

Good luck

 

[moomin_troll]

a person wears many different hats. especialy men, the way he acts around his firends will be completly different to the way he acts around u.

boys will be boys and they always like to keep up with each other, pretty sad really lol
so i dont think u have anything to worry about, altho i wouldnt be happy about naked pics on my OHs phone so id want them gone

 

[snowfia]

I don't think it's anything to worry about a such but if my OH was doing the same I'd be very upset.
It's disrespectful to you and the women they know in person as I'm sure they weren't taken to be spread around.
Talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
Good luck x

 

[xJG30]

I know exactly how you feel! 2 months after I started seeing OH I found stuff... brought it up with him and things were alot better.

 

[Emma&Freya]

I don't no what I'd do tbh. I think I'd just be glad he's not saying it TO another girl

 

[BlueFly]

The pictures weren't girls my bf knew and he never said thins about the real life girls just the porn ones

Anyway, talked to him about it and he felt horrible about makin me feel bad. We are all good now

For me, I was making a mountain out of a molehill. We have had a lot of tragedy recently in our lives an I have leftover feelings from that

Thanks for the responses

 

[snowfia]

I'm glad everything's ok

 

[emilyjade]

glad things are sorted x

 

[helenas81]

I've found things my other half has looked at etc and it really upset me. I brought it up straight away. It's best to try chat about it, explain how u feel! My bf and I used to be very sexually active but not so much now, so when I did find stuff it really hurt as it was like he wasn't bothered about me anymore!
We had a big big looooong chat and sorted it all out

 

[leahsbabybump]

i dont mind porn and dont mind men who look at naked ladies luckily my current OH isnt bothered anyway but my x was an addict lol anyhow boys will be boys he has to act macho infront of his mates i suppose or they will think he is going soft lol it wouldnt bother me at all i think if was my OH i would have a laugh and a joke about it tbh
now the fact that it really upsets you and you mentiond something about the stuff he says to you and doesnt say to you i think you need to have words with him about this as if he is directly or purposefully hurting you rhen its out of order hun