Sex?

[BellaBoo0512]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and carrying a lot of fluid so I'm huge, I've also got a dialated kidney which is causing me quite a bit of pain and to top it off I have got a very uncomfortable haemorrhoid. Needless to say that I'm not feeling very sexy at the moment!

Me and hubs haven't had sex in almost 2 weeks (I was in hospital last week) and now he keeps hinting and I keep making up excuses. I just feel so cruel! I just feel so horrible and can't understand why he would want to have sex with me when I'm like this...

I've just told him how I feel and he says he honestly doesn't mind but now I feel really guilty

 

[Kaileymonster]

Try a spooning position. You can still be really close to each other yet not so he's laying on the bump. It's normal to feel so icky when you're so big and sooo pregnant. If you really don't feel up to it then I'm sure OH won't mind. Try a candlelit bath and get him to give you a massage and have a little fumble, sometimes that's all we have and it's just the intimacy that he wants. There is nothing worse than being super pregnant and not feeling your best and feeling all yucky. But your OH clearly doesn't care and still fancies your pants off!!!

 

[tristansmum]

Don't.
I'm 36 weeks and we have not had sex for about two months! We were the same with my son. Sex is the last thing I want to do these days. Men can take care of themselves. All goes back to normal eventually but right now you need to look after you. X

 

[LilMiss_91]

Me and OH have barely had sex since about 12/14wks. About 3 or 4 times in total. I did feel bad to begin with but it's just not what I want right now so I refuse to feel guilty about it. If you really don't feel like it then that's upto you, you shouldn't do it just because you feel like you should and I'm sure your OH wouldn't want you to do it for that reason either! You obviously respect his wish to have sex but equally, he has to respect your wish not to try not to make yourself feel bad hun, it isn't forever after all xx

 

[BellaBoo0512]

Thanks for your replies lovely ladies I'm feeling a little less guilty on the poor guy now. I just do not feel like it whatsoever and it wouldn't be fair to him because I'd just be laid there waiting for it to be over... Gawd that sounds awful! He will just have to please himself for a while till I'm feeling upto it haha I'm sure he will survive! X

 

[LilMiss_91]

Thanks for your replies lovely ladies I'm feeling a little less guilty on the poor guy now. I just do not feel like it whatsoever and it wouldn't be fair to him because I'd just be laid there waiting for it to be over... Gawd that sounds awful! He will just have to please himself for a while till I'm feeling upto it haha I'm sure he will survive! X

Aw hun, honestly, the last time me and OH dtd I WAS pretty much just waiting for him to be done :S I felt awful! So I decided I defo wouldn't do it again until I was totally up for it lol. It will be better if you wait till you're both in the mood I think x

 

[stellababy]

i am amazed you are still having sex at 37 weeks! i had sex yesterday at almost 35w and got a big cramp on my lower stomach... i told him that was the last time of this pregnancy

honestly, dont feel bad for your hubby for not having sex a few weeks. he is not the one who is giving up his body for 9 months and carrying this child. he will understand, and things will go back to normal once your baby is here

 

[TwoRdue]

Me and oh have not had sex sinceweek 17 (doc orders) but they said that we can again when I am 36 weeks but I just dont feel like it and poor hubby is counting down the days.

 

[Powell130]

Mine won't even have sex with me anymore lol it creeps him it cuz of the baby. I mentioned labor inducing sex in a few weeks and he gave me the craziest look lmao

 

[iwantabub]

sounds wierd... but because of how lowzy i been feeling we hadnt dtd in a week...
(we usually are multiple a day ppl to begin with so a week is a long time)...
on saturday morning as i was waking up DH tried some moves, but they were really nice, rubbing my back and softly touching my neck and shoulders and we ended up doing it in the spooning position...and boy was it sooooo much better than any other position atm...
felt so nice and it may sound odd but i think i reli needed it...

remember its not just about sex for some men... my dh likes being showed that i love and want him and id almost forgotten i needed that too... it wasnt about the sex it was about being intimate... we laid for a while after and cuddled and it was so nice....

just remember that some men, not all but some use sex for more than just a primal act (my dh would never reli go do himself coz for him its not about that as much as being attracted and loving someone, so the old "he can take care of himself" comment is a tad heartless if it was me saying it to dh, again tho all men are different) , some need to be shown affection and love too.... so maybe if your not up for the actual sex part remember to tell him how much u love him and maybe do something nice for him to compensate... doesnt have to be sexual, something as simple as a back scratch for 5 mins

but def dont feel guilty... our bodies are so up and down atm and its not fair to put yourself under any pressure to do something that may hurt u or make u feel uncomfy for a while.

goodluck and hope u feel better soon

 

[littlemisscie]

DB and I still have sex every 3-4 days. I feel so icky and unattractive (it's been really hard on me to not have a flat tummy and all these lovely stretch marks) that it kind of helps me to know that he still wants to dtd. Spooning is a good position for so late because you're not really on baby or uncomfortable. You can also spoon but open your legs up

 

[Taurus8484]

Sex............what is that????

 

[Jendra]

I stopped being able to have sex in the second trimester. Too much pain and discomfort. Now I'm 2.5 weeks out of pregnancy and with several more weeks to go till sex is doable, it's been a stupid long time. These things happen. Despite having a vagina, this doesn't mean it's always open for business, just as being pregnant does not reduce you to a vessel. You the human being are allowed to be off the sex market from time to time. Feeling unwell is one of them.

Give yourself a break. Men have hands, good imaginations and, barring that, the internet.

 

[MrsGards]

My husband gets told straight.. not tonight, probably not tomorrow and wednesday isnt looking good either. If he wants to give himself a party.. he can go ahead! I have no problem with him going wild.. he doesnt even have to leave the bed, as long as he doesnt wake me up im fine with it!
LOL We havnt had sex in weeks, probably months actually i cant remember!! Once I hit 38 weeks we will probably be dtd to try and start things off, not for fun!!