Should I divorce him?

[Ginger84]

Hi, i would really appreciate your opinions on my current situation regarding ex- husband and his wanting a divorce.

Basicially we have been married for 2 1/2 years, this pregnancy was planned and it took 9 months to get pregnant so it didnt happen overly quickly. Anyways in December he decides to tell me he is unhappy and wants to leave, didn't give us a chance to talk, or work things out in our marriage, he just packed his bags and left 2 weeks later.

I am still living in the house and he is continuing to pay the mortgage until it sells. He came round last week to say that i can have all the savings, money from the sale of the house, the car and he will pay more than the csa will make him pay for child maintence- all on the condition that i divorce him asap. I know he is being more than reasonable with giving me everything
(which seems a lot but is not actually much in terms of £ as he can afford it as he earns about 6x as much as i do)

So its been 10 weeks since he left, i am still reeling with the shock and suddeness of it all, as well as trying to sell the house, and prepare for the birth of our child due in 3 weeks. Am i being unreasonable to ask him to wait until i can get my head clear about things? He says if i dont divorce him he will think of reasons to divorce me and i worry that if this happens he will not be so reasonable about the money and stuff which i need to help me and the baby in the future.

So what do you think? put myself through the emotional stress of the divorce now or risk not getting as much if he divorces me? I cant beleive he is putting so much pressure on me so close to the baby coming. He really has no idea how much it is upsetting and stressing me out.

Oh yea and when he came round last week he decided to tell me that he never really wanted a baby and he is seeing someone else, kick me while im down why dont you.

Thanks in advance for your replies, sorry for the long post

x

 

[lal]

Ugh. I would say take the $ now, he sounds like a slimeball and that's probably the most you'll get out of him. I wouldn't want to be with somebody who would do that to me (much like I don't want to be with FOB after all he's put me through). I understand wanting to wait, and if it would be easier for you totally do that. I just found that toward the end of my pregnancy putting my foot down became a lot easier, and once my son was here I was really glad to have a lot of the tough decisions already made.

 

[sophieee18]

I say go for it hun. You're better off without! Us girls are always here when you're stressed and need a rant. I hope things get easier for you! Men are all w***ers

 

[billy2mm]

can you tell him you need to wait till after the baby is born and a few weeks/couple of months old before you can consider it as its a tressful time and you need to concentrate on you and baby bonding and getting into a routine and finding somewhere to stay and sorting out your individual finances before going onto the divorce?

im about to file for divorce (on thursday actually if the copy of my marriage certificate has arrived) and its a long and complicted proceedure even if both parties agree. it will be very expensive and you need to see if you can get legal aid or if he will pay your legal fees too.

its not as straightforward as he seems to be trying to make it.

if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me hun

 

[Maybe1stBaby]

Don't you think there's something a bit odd about the suddenness of it all?

As in...what's he hiding? Personally, I'd try to investigate what's his rush...is he hiding some assets from you that you might be entitled to once you give birth?

The rush sounds kinda sketchy to me....

I'd wait until after the baby is born; it doesn't really sound like he has any reason to divorce you like he says.

 

[Ginger84]

Don't you think there's something a bit odd about the suddenness of it all?

As in...what's he hiding? Personally, I'd try to investigate what's his rush...is he hiding some assets from you that you might be entitled to once you give birth?

The rush sounds kinda sketchy to me....

I'd wait until after the baby is born; it doesn't really sound like he has any reason to divorce you like he says.

I agree i think he might be hiding something, but it could also be because of this other woman and his guilt about leaving me when pregnant. I dont know.

I feel like i should and will divorce him in time i just dont get the rush. And actually i have been far too understanding and reasonable about the break up and letting him see the baby etc, i feel like if i give into this without a fight i will seem like a complete pushover and he will always be getting his own way. None of this was my decision yet i have to be the one to deal with all the crap left behind while he swans off into his new life, new flat, new woman.

Life sucks sometimes

 

[Maybe1stBaby]

Divorce him in your own time if it feels right for you.

life does suck sometimes, but it will get better. My grandmas always says this too shall pass.