Scarlett2
Family of five!
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2015
- Messages
- 331
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I have two boys. With my first I desperately wanted a boy, I was one of four girls and the only grandchild (my sister's child) was also a girl. I wanted it for my father, who had never had a boy, for my husband, who really wanted a boy, and I suppose for myself because for some reason I thought it would feel more special. (No judgements please!) We didn't find out, I wish in retrospect that I had, I found it quite stressful not knowing and worrying about how I would feel if he had turned out to be a girl.
With my second I desperately wanted a girl. We found out because I felt that if I found out I could get over the gender disappointment before the birth. And I did. I cried on the way home from the scan but got over it and by the time I gave birth it really wasn't an issue. I ought to add that we didn't tell anyone else (actually I think I told one friend who was in exactly the same situation and was also having a second boy, which really helped) and I was fully prepared for the comments post birth as well as preparing myself. BUT part of 'getting over it' (sorry, there doesn't seem a better way to express that) was feeling that I could always try again. We had always said that having three was an option. Four isn't.
So now I am pregnant with number three. I really really thought I wasn't bothered and I don't think I am as bothered as hubbie is. But as time goes on I am feeling the same stress and anxiety as with number one because the reality is that I am worried about spending my life without a daughter. But this is definitely it.
I don't know whether to find out and try to get over it, although I won't have the same fallback of 'we can try again' or whether to hold out for the birth and then when it turns out it's another boy I should, hopefully, love it regardless. I just don't know. I'm 28 weeks now.
With my second I desperately wanted a girl. We found out because I felt that if I found out I could get over the gender disappointment before the birth. And I did. I cried on the way home from the scan but got over it and by the time I gave birth it really wasn't an issue. I ought to add that we didn't tell anyone else (actually I think I told one friend who was in exactly the same situation and was also having a second boy, which really helped) and I was fully prepared for the comments post birth as well as preparing myself. BUT part of 'getting over it' (sorry, there doesn't seem a better way to express that) was feeling that I could always try again. We had always said that having three was an option. Four isn't.
So now I am pregnant with number three. I really really thought I wasn't bothered and I don't think I am as bothered as hubbie is. But as time goes on I am feeling the same stress and anxiety as with number one because the reality is that I am worried about spending my life without a daughter. But this is definitely it.
I don't know whether to find out and try to get over it, although I won't have the same fallback of 'we can try again' or whether to hold out for the birth and then when it turns out it's another boy I should, hopefully, love it regardless. I just don't know. I'm 28 weeks now.