Should I just admit defeat?

[pachamama92]

We are having another boy. With DS 1 my OH wanted to give him his name as it was his dad's too and I refused straight out but said "maybe the next one" thinking "pay, yeah right we will cross that bridge in the future"

Well, now we are having another bot and the pressure is on. Here's where I feel like I'm being a bad person though.. OH's dad died the week after I found out I was pregnant and obviously OH was distraught. He didn't even have a chance to tell him he was having another baby. The one thing that got him through it has been this baby..

Edit: posted before finished!

But now I really want him to have a different name!! I know, I'm awful!!! I think even if his dad had a different name than oh that would be fine. It is having two members in same house with same name which is going to piss me off! Tell me to grow up and cave. I think deep down I just don't want oh to win which is awful!!!

 

[Amy1123]

Maybe you guys could compromise on something. I'd there another way to honor him? Did he and OH share a hobby?....like baseball and the name could be baseball related. Something along those lines... his dad's favorite thing, birthstone, color, favorite car, song, band..there are so many possibilities to honor someone.

Just be honest and tell him u don't like the idea of the same name in the house

 

[jessiebella86]

Could you use it as a middle name? Xx

 

[wannabemomy37]

I'd compromise by honoring him in a different way as PP stated. I'm not one for Jr's so I'd stick to my guns.

 

[kneeswrites]

I don't think you're being unfair. My husband's dad is dead and so is mine. I would love to name my son after my dad somehow, but his name isn't very appealing (Kurt) and I respect that my husband isn't okay with that. Similarly, his dad's name was Jon and I wouldn't be okay with that. However we are using his middle name, Risley, to honor his dad, but that's because we also like the name. You have the right to LIKE the name of the child you're growing.

 

[AP]

I wouldnt cave, but, i would compromise. DH wouldnt let me compromise at the time and I regret not putting my foot down for a compromise.

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

Can you have the name as a middle name? I always do first names as names i love and then middle names for naming after people, my eldest is Brendan Samuel Richard (Samuel after his dad 'my ex husband', richard after my uncle who passed away) second child is Kairen Charlie (charlie is because my names charlotte) and My daughter Avaleigh Franciz Ashley (Franciz is my dad and Ashley is her daddy's name) being as they dont use their middle names on a daily basis it doesn't matter if you dont even like the name lol, but with a first name it has to be a name i love and i couldn't compromise on that, so if i was in your situation i would have to say no sorry i wouldnt use the name as a first name, im sure your OH will understand, the name is forever with your little boy you need to love it x

 

[Delphine11]

I'd give it as a middle name. That's a reasonable compromise and honours and remembers his dad.

I don't really like children having the same first name as a parent personally. It just seems weird to me as they're separate people. Middle names are slightly different.

 

[CandiceSj]

I wouldn't be able to just suck it up and name my child a name I wasn't completely on board about.

I would definitely try to compromise and a middle name could be something, or else a variant of the name if that exists (like if their names are John, Jonathan could be used, that kind of thing), or the same initials, or maybe the dad's middle name or variant is usable as a first name?

What is his name, out of curiosity?

 

[Buffyx]

Do you actually even like the name?!

 

[cherrylips100]

You aren't awful at all. If you don't like a name then you don't like it. There are plenty of other ways to honor someone...same initials, same middle name, same letters...

 

[ellahopesky]

I'd just use it as a middle name x

 

[LillyFleur]

I'd stick to your guns if you don't like the name.

For example my Dad and DH Dad are both called Stephen, so it would be nice to give baby that as a middle name, but I hate the name - I find it really dated so there's no chance I'm using it.

 

[LoraLoo]

The two names in same house wouldn't bother me Nd I think it's quite nice when names are passed down, however if it's a name you don't like or you really don't want to use it, stick to your guns. Persuade him to use it as a middle name x

 

[SilasLove]

My DH and son share tge same name. I wasn't in to it at first at all, but it was important to my husband so I allowed it. I don't regret it one bit. They share the name Joseph and we made our son a 2nd instead of a Jr. And that isnt how its supposed to work, but we did it anyway. Usually the II is left off and he just is Joseph. Now we do call him Joe Joe and my husband Joe - but it isnt weird and it works out.

But do what you want, and if you really are 100% against it then dont do it or use it as a middle name. It will work out either way you decide. GL xx

 

[kcenn]

Talk to him, he should understand. You should both be happy with the name!

 

[mod19]

I wouldn't cave either. I've already told dh no if we have a son since he's a 2nd (II) . But him and his dad also have very unappealing names (Donald Glenn who does that to their child?) . I could however see a compromise in using it as a middle name. No one really uses it ever anyways.