Should i let go?

[Mash]

in the last few months since i started this infertility treatment, there are two things i realized...

1. It will happen only when it is destined to happen .. you just cant control it.

2. None of my friends or people i know had 100% success rate of fertility treatments ... Failed IUIs, IVFs etc etc....

most of them advised me to let it go .. and leave it to nature, relax and not worry about it. Easier said than done, i know, cuz i have sweat about it every day past 2 years.... for the last 7-8 months of treatment... nothing changed, no success, only i grew more cranky, restless, tired and heart broken ...
not that i have had a very long history of treatment, but whatever i have had, and whatever i read here and elsewhere has brought me to point where i am thinking if all of it is worth it .... worth all the good time that i can happily spend with my husband but my hormones keep messing me up..

My husband and I have had our share of treatments, he took pills, i had a cystectomy done.. now we both are just waiting for it to happen...

Do u i think i should let go? clomid, duphaston, IUI? i am soooo tired of all the visits and every thing?

please advise...

 

[StTropez]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so dispondent about it all at the moment. Only you can decide what you want to do and what is for the best. I can only say how I feel about it and maybe that helps...

We've been trying for over 3 years. I've had endometriosis diagnosed and laparoscopy cystectomy last year. We've just had our 1st round of IVF... had a BFP and then this morning realised it was a chemical pregnancy and I've lost the baby at 5+1. We've now got to decide where to go from here. At the moment I don't want to do anything but stay in bed and hide from my future. But I know that I want a baby more.

The things you've said are correct. A baby will come to you when destiny decides and there is only so much you can do about it.... However, there are things that you can do that make it more likely. You still need to leave it to nature a bit and therefore it's always a gamble. I know, for me, if I didn't feel like I was doing everything I could to make it happen, I would be forever wondering "what if". I couldn't cope with that. In every other aspect of my life I am making things happen. For this, I have to do it too.

Big hugs...........

 

[JaniceT]

Only you can answer that question. We tried for more than 3 years and it did take a toll on our marriage. So, we took 9 months off to not think of fertility treatments and to just enjoy ourselves. We then tried again and it did work. My OH already has 2 adult children from a previous marriage so it doesn't really matter to him. As for me, I couldn't see my future without children. I love children, having a family, etc. Hence, I kept trying.

You just need to decide if you can be happy without children? If you can, then it's ok to stop trying. There may be other paths in life that could fulfill you.

 

[MarsMaiden]

So sorry you are feeling low. When I feel like this I always go back to the words that I saw in a lady's signature here which really help me...

"If you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place"

No matter how hard it is, I know that I want a baby more than anything and that will one day be worth all the heartache and the tears that I am going through now.

 

[Mash]

So sorry you are feeling low. When I feel like this I always go back to the words that I saw in a lady's signature here which really help me...

"If you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place"

No matter how hard it is, I know that I want a baby more than anything and that will one day be worth all the heartache and the tears that I am going through now.

Thanks ....

i also see no future without a baby ....

 

[Quaver]

Perhaps you could take few months break?

I see ttc as my new hobby/project, I've forgotten what I'm doing it for (baby?).

I really like posting on forums, and looking up on fertility treatments.
Charting temps and doing opks and CBFM. Perhaps it will change over time, since I've only been doing it for 14 months

I had breaks in between though, 3 months and 2 months for work, and 2 month being pg with mc baby, so I haven't been doing it all the time which may have helped Another 2 month break (work) coming up at the end of this year

Remember, we are all in it together

 

[Mamamirfy]

I agree with you being the only one that can make this decision. Maybe you just need a break from it. It starts to consume you. Take a break from the site, from timing BD'ing, from everything for a bit and regroup. the stress can't be helping anything. Take a couple months to decide what you want to do