should of been a great week :0(

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by jx6, Feb 1, 2011.

  1. jx6

    jx6 proud mummy of 4

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    Feeling very sad and struggling this week
    I should be 20wks and having our scan :cry: instead I'm feeling empty & lonely.
    theres a lady at school who is 20 wks and I feel so sad when I see her bump :sad2:
    My DH is struggling too and is trying to hide it and bury himself in work
    Everywhere I turn there's news of pregnancy's,births etc :cry:
    Just needed to say how I really feel to anyone who will listen :hugs:
     
  2. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
    Im so so sorry! :hugs::hugs:

    That really suck, really wont help working with someone around the same dates you were! ARH ... why is life so unfair?

    Do something nice or plan something nice to try and take your find off things, get your hairdone, go to a spa, have a weekend away, something, you really deserve it!:hugs:
     
  3. beth30

    beth30 2 Rainbow Boys and Preggo

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    yes. I understand. I have been buying gifts for baby showers... for everyone who found out they were pregnant the same week I did. I loved purchasing the little pink outfits...but it was heartwrenching when I had to give them to the momma's to be. Hopefully soon, we will have our own little bumps or BIG bumps... just stay positive. We all have our tough days, weeks, months, or years. But when you're at the bottom there is only one other way to go....up... so look up. *Hugs*
     
  4. kas22

    kas22 Well-Known Member

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    i hope you no its ok to be sad, the more you try to hide your thoughts and feelings the more you will feel the pain!!

    you say your partner is having a hard time too, you both should take some time and talk to one another! its ok to feel angry hurt, pain and sadness, just take each day as it comes!! and things will get better over time!! the magic word 'time' lol!!

    keep well xx
     
  5. fides

    fides Well-Known Member

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    i am so sorry. hang in there, jx6

    i quit counting where i would be at because i just don't think i can handle that.
     
  6. mami2karina

    mami2karina Mami of 3~Expecting #4!

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    :hugs: I am so sorry hun. I know exactly how you feel. I m/c our twins Christmas Day and one friend delivered a baby the day before, then New Year's Eve my best friend found out she was pregnant and said she was aborting (thank God this weekend she changed her mind before her appt Thursday) and my other friend delivered her boy/girl twins Friday. I was breaking down Thursday night. It had been almost 5 weeks since the m/c, no AF, no signs of O'ing. I was giving up and calling my OB to have them induce AF yesterday. I kept getting :bfn: after :bfn: and was so angry. I knew my body had failed me yet again. But since Thursday I had been really sick, tested negative on FRER that day. Saturday still was sick so I broke down and went to Dollar Tree and grabbed 6 tests. Even though I knew in my heart that it was going to be negative I took one that night when I got home, and there it was...a 2nd line, faint, but there. Next morning, a little darker. So Sunday afternoon I went and got a FRER and it was dark immediately. It will happen for you. I'm sorry I'm not trying to upset you. I just know how you feel I felt the same way. So angry, sad, disgusted. Now I am in fear that I will be going through it all over again. But somehow have this sense of peace that everything will be okay. I am so sorry for your loss. Try to go and do something for yourself, go out to eat, get your nails or hair done. Something special just for you. I kept torturing myself looking at all the BFP's I got with the twins, I don't know why I kept them, just to drive myself insaine I guess. I just really didn't think that I could go on after that loss. Even though it was my 6th m/c it was THE hardest one. Keep your chin up. And you will get your :bfp: again and you will experience all those wonderful things for yourself. :hugs:
     
  7. Dawny

    Dawny TTc after loss baby W2

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    I totally understand, I had a MMC in July and was due in the 21st Jan, whilst two of my neighbours were due the week before and the week after! They both had happy healthy pregnancies which I am totally happy about, but I am so jealous that right now they r holding a gorgeous baby in their arms n I'm left here empty, alone n now needing to see a specialist!

    I'm also due on a girls night with some friends n two if them r heavily pregnant, n I'm so so jealous I don't know yet if I'll go!

    But then I think to myself that all the jealousy, bitterness n upset is not healthy for me and my body. I'm not saying u must snap out of it right now, we all cope/deal with things so different so must do things our way, but I wanted u to know u r not alone in your feelings but it will get better n u will get the BFP we all want.

    Xxxxx
     
  8. nicb26

    nicb26 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hun,
    I should be 20 weeks too. It's so unfair isn't it, especially when you see pregnant women. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Take care xx
     
  9. serenas_song

    serenas_song Well-Known Member

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    so sorry. my 20 week scan would have been last week. we'll never know if our little one was a boy or a girl :(
     
  10. bbbunny

    bbbunny Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss :hugs: When I lost my first I had 2 friends who were pregnant the same time and it really hurt seeing there bumps when I was still greiving mine.

    Have you thought about perhaps planting a tree or getting some memorial to your baby that you can both visit? I heard of somebody who put a pair of baby booties in a box with a letter from both her and her husband to the baby. She buried it in the garden and would go and sit near it and talk to the baby when she was feeling sad.
     
  11. jx6

    jx6 proud mummy of 4

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    Thank you everyone for your messages of support:hugs:
    I'm so sorry for all your losses no-one should have to go through this:flower:
    Thanx Eternal my DH has told me the same but I just dont feel worthy at the moment to spoil myself I just dont like me very much?
    Beth30 thanx hun I know your right onwards and upwards you have been so strong to buy those gifts for others and very selfless good on you hun :hugs:
    Kas22 Thanku I too am a great believer that time heals I suppose I'm finding it extra hard at the mo as my DH doesnt want to talk about it now unless we have to,he's dealing with it his way but I need to talk about it its with me 24/7 I dont really have anyone else I can talk to about it and so you ladies are my lifeline at the moment :hugs:
    FidesThanx hun you hang in there too,I wish I would stop counting the weeks maybe I will now?Until countdown to due date.I just cant seem to, my head and heart still feel pregnant?:cry:
    Mami2karinayou've been thru so much i'm really sorry
    Thanku for your kind words and i'm over the moon for you wishing you a happy healthy 9months :hugs:
    Dawnyaww thanx and it must of been really hard for you especially having friends due around the same time.I think u shud see how you feel nearer the time of going out with friends,do what feels right for you. I do need to snap out of it a bit I've been better but just think because of the timing its a particular bad week
    Nicb26Aww bless u hun I'm sorry we have this in common take care hun and wishing u a BFP very soon :hugs:
    serenas_songI keep thinking the same we would of known whether we were having a boy or girl it pains me not knowing,I would like to give our angel a name but feel I cant because of this,tho I obviously sympathise with all the ladies who lost their babies later and did know,I hope this comes across ok I know what I mean but think it may sound insensitive which is the last thing I would want? :blush: FX for you
    bbbunnyThanku,it seems we've all had to share the experience surrounded by pregnant friends. I'm sure everything feels magnified and we pick up on lots more than we probably would have?That is a lovely idea and I would def be up for the idea I just dont think my DH could cope with that yet maybe on our due date tho I dont know how he's going to deal with that as it should of been fathers day:cry:
    I really appreciate you all taking the time to listen and reply so I felt I wanted to reply to you all,sorry for the long message!
    FX for all you lovely ladies and I'm hoping,wishing & praying we are able to share much happier experiences very soon with our :bfp:
    Big :hug: and :dust:
     
  12. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    You didnt do ANYTHING wrong, you didnt cause this and you most certainly do deserve some treat and you time, i was thinking of acupuncture, dont know it thats sounds relaxing to you, but i can apartently help fertility and help with MC. Do it, you need some you time to think about you and your body. you do deserve it and i understand that you feel like its your fault, i do too, afterall it feels like our bodies that failed but it wasnt, its just one of those things, which sounds harsh but nothing we did caused it.

    my husband had a hard time taking about it, but ended up having a row and saying about how i needed him to talk, he said he is upset but feels like the man cant talk about his feelings and can only say things that will help. which i explained isnt what i need. since then things are a lot better. we talk about the baby much more and that really helps, especially when he says he is suffering too.

    How are you feeling today? i have good and bad days, last week was bad, this week was ok until yesterday but thats for other reasons. i really hope today us easier for you. i wish there was something i could say or do to help you get through this difficult time.

    im so sorry this has happened to you.
     
  13. jx6

    jx6 proud mummy of 4

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    Thank you :hugs:
    I remember you mentioning acupuncture but I've not really thought about it for myself I think I will look into it tho thanks.
    This has really knocked my confidence, and I'm just feeling rubbish about myself feeling a bit lost like I dont know who I am anymore Ive just had a massive clearout and got rid of nearly all my clothes just dont feel like that person anymore,I cant explain it :shrug:
    I know I'll be ok and just having a few bad days I'm sure I'll be different again nx week :dohh:
    I think I need to have a bit of a heart to heart with DH. I can understand why he's like he is, it's his way of dealing with it and it's not like I want to talk about our baby all the time but I feel like I cant mention it incase it upsets him.:shrug:huh i dont know :wacko:
    Enough about me,how are you?I think your going to be lucky this month you sound like you've been doing plenty of bd :blush:
    When are you going to be testing? :hugs:
     

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