Should we wait or ....?

[Beastandbaby9]

Both currently 20, own house, one income household. 3 fur babies, and two vehicles owned. Also married. People saying we are too young or should wait? We desperately want a baby to complete our family what do all of you think? Married less than 1 year ago.

 

[tcinks]

You're adults and seem to have a pretty stable life, I see no reason why you couldn't start trying if you feel ready! People will always give advice when it's a good time to do one thing or another, and how to go about doing it...but it is up to you guys to decide what's best for you!

 

[Beastandbaby9]

You're adults and seem to have a pretty stable life, I see no reason why you couldn't start trying if you feel ready! People will always give advice when it's a good time to do one thing or another, and how to go about doing it...but it is up to you guys to decide what's best for you!

Thank you so much for your response, I'm new to this community

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Your story sounds very similar to ours when I became pregnant with my first. I found out I was expecting 3 days after my 21st birthday in July and we were just married in December. We actually didn't buy our first home until I was 8 months pregnant so that is something you already have going for you. I'd say if you feel it is the right time, then go for it. People are always going to give you "advice" and judge you no matter what. When I had my first child, people were pressuring me to have another, to try for a boy. Luckily we did get one of each the first time, so people assumed we were done. When I told people I was pregnant with #3 everyone asked me if she was an accident!

I wish you the best of luck in whatever choice you decide to make and I hope you stay around. Most of the ladies on here are very supportive

 

[Beastandbaby9]

Your story sounds very similar to ours when I became pregnant with my first. I found out I was expecting 3 days after my 21st birthday in July and we were just married in December. We actually didn't buy our first home until I was 8 months pregnant so that is something you already have going for you. I'd say if you feel it is the right time, then go for it. People are always going to give you "advice" and judge you no matter what. When I had my first child, people were pressuring me to have another, to try for a boy. Luckily we did get one of each the first time, so people assumed we were done. When I told people I was pregnant with #3 everyone asked me if she was an accident!

I wish you the best of luck in whatever choice you decide to make and I hope you stay around. Most of the ladies on here are very supportive

We don't own our home yet I guess I should've phrased it differently lol, oops, we are renting currently but it's just us we aren't living with our parents or anything. We both are so broody. Idk what to do? We are for the most part financially stable.

 

[arturia]

Both currently 20, own house, one income household. 3 fur babies, and two vehicles owned. Also married. People saying we are too young or should wait? We desperately want a baby to complete our family what do all of you think? Married less than 1 year ago.

Wow, that's a lot of adult stuff ticked off for 20 year old. Good work! And the people saying you're too young are just opinionated. It's totally your call. Here's some advice:

It really depends on if you want to travel in the next couple years or do anything else that requires more flexibility than a child will offer you.

It's not impossible for sure, but going and seeing places is a lot more difficult when you have a little one. Not so bad when you have an older one, but don't expect your future 5 year old to appreciate ancient Rome or anything. (beaches would probably be a good choice though.)

Since you're living on one income already, it's probably worth noting that infants don't actually cost much on their own, so long as you already have a room for them.

 

[Beastandbaby9]

Both currently 20, own house, one income household. 3 fur babies, and two vehicles owned. Also married. People saying we are too young or should wait? We desperately want a baby to complete our family what do all of you think? Married less than 1 year ago.

Wow, that's a lot of adult stuff ticked off for 20 year old. Good work! And the people saying you're too young are just opinionated. It's totally your call. Here's some advice:

It really depends on if you want to travel in the next couple years or do anything else that requires more flexibility than a child will offer you.

It's not impossible for sure, but going and seeing places is a lot more difficult when you have a little one. Not so bad when you have an older one, but don't expect your future 5 year old to appreciate ancient Rome or anything. (beaches would probably be a good choice though.)

Since you're living on one income already, it's probably worth noting that infants don't actually cost much on their own, so long as you already have a room for them.

Wow thank you for your kind comment! We already have a 2 bedroom home that we are renting to own! So I think we're pretty set!!

 

[arturia]

Both currently 20, own house, one income household. 3 fur babies, and two vehicles owned. Also married. People saying we are too young or should wait? We desperately want a baby to complete our family what do all of you think? Married less than 1 year ago.

Wow, that's a lot of adult stuff ticked off for 20 year old. Good work! And the people saying you're too young are just opinionated. It's totally your call. Here's some advice:

It really depends on if you want to travel in the next couple years or do anything else that requires more flexibility than a child will offer you.

It's not impossible for sure, but going and seeing places is a lot more difficult when you have a little one. Not so bad when you have an older one, but don't expect your future 5 year old to appreciate ancient Rome or anything. (beaches would probably be a good choice though.)

Since you're living on one income already, it's probably worth noting that infants don't actually cost much on their own, so long as you already have a room for them.

Wow thank you for your kind comment! We already have a 2 bedroom home that we are renting to own! So I think we're pretty set!!

Reading over this again, I'd say school is another big decision to make. If either of you want to go to school (if you're 20 you're likely too young to have been college grads, though not guaranteed, but clearly the employed one of you is making a great income already.) you'd best do it before baby. You'll likely not find it easy to find the time to attend classes until your future child is 12 or older, due to the challenges of childcare. And honestly... maybe that's OK. If you're doing well and are financially stable on a single income and have career growth potential and the other wants to be a stay-at-home parent, college might just be not necessary for your family.

 

[BSN2MOM]

If you feel like you're ready it wouldn't hurt to at least NTNP maybe? I would also think about travel or other life goals that could be priority over starting a family, however, that's not to say that once you have a kid you can't still achieve goals! It does sound like you're both very responsible and it wouldn't hurt to just not prevent because there is a chance that it still won't happen for quite some time! Best of luck to you

 

[MindUtopia]

Only you know your situation, but yes, had I been where you are at 20, I would have wanted to wait. Financial security is important, but it's not the most important thing you need before you're ready to become parents. I was in the exact same position as you when I was 20 - actually I moved out on my own at 17, a bit shy of my 18th birthday, but there's no way I would have been ready for a baby. That's just me and my experience.

You really need time for your relationship to grow and to grow into adulthood, to spend your time doing the things you can do now (that you couldn't do 3 years ago as a 17 year old) and that you won't really be able to do again once you have children. Travel, enjoy time together as a couple (you'll have a hard time even being able to have dinner alone together once you have a baby), sleep, develop yourself, learn something new, take a class in something you always wanted to do, get yourself further along in your career so it can better absorb the shocks of taking time off to parent and deal with a sick baby or sleepless nights, etc. You're married and you've already made some big adult life decisions, which is a great sign of maturity, but it may also mean you've not done all the things that normal 20 year olds do either. Would you regret that if you never did?

Becoming parents means you won't really get a chance to easily do those things in the future if you realise you missed out on something, like taking a 3 month trip around the world or pursuing a degree in something you always wanted to study or lots of romantic weekends away together as a couple, once you start a family. If you feel like you have done all those things, then yes, you might be ready. But I definitely look back on that time in my life and am glad I did that stuff first rather than having a baby when I was younger. I felt like I got it all out of my system and achieved a lot while it was easy (and cheap with no childcare to pay for), and so I think that made it easier to transition to a different kind of lifestyle as parents when we were ready for life to slow down a lot. That would be my advice just based on my experience. I had my daughter when I was 32 and for me, that was perfect, but I didn't meet my husband until I was in my mid-20s, got my degree, did a master's, was halfway through a PhD when we had our daughter, traveled, we both lived and worked overseas, felt settled and secure, etc. That was perfect for me, but it just depends on what you want to do in say the next 5 to 10 years and how starting a family fits into that for both of you.