Shout out to single parents!

[Leanna5813]

I just wanted to say I applaud all the single parents out there. I'm thankful I don't have to experience being a single mom, because I have seen how hard it is at times for all of you! When my husband is gone to work and I'm taking care of our son on my own its really hard sometimes. I couldn't imagine never having someone else you can rely on to help. So I just wanted to say good job and I admire you!!

 

[Ruby2013]

 

[Mummy1995]

Thankyou for this. Made me smile x

 

[teal]

xx

 

[daneuse27]

I'm not sure how to take this post to be honest. I think you meant well, so I'm not trying to attack you. But it seems like you've come with this assumption that because we're single, we all have these sad lives that you're really glad that you don't have. I guess I just dont like it when people act as thought they pity me or feel sorry for me.

There are probably tons of ladies that feel different to me, but those are just my thoughts.

 

[Leanna5813]

I'm not sure how to take this post to be honest. I think you meant well, so I'm not trying to attack you. But it seems like you've come with this assumption that because we're single, we all have these sad lives that you're really glad that you don't have. I guess I just dont like it when people act as thought they pity me or feel sorry for me.

There are probably tons of ladies that feel different to me, but those are just my thoughts.

I'm sorry if I offended you! That was not my intention at all. I do not pity or feel bad for single parents. My mother raised three on her own, and lived a very happy life. But at times I did see her struggle, and I have friends who have also struggled. I admire parents who can do it on their own and meant no offense to anyone. Again though, I truly am sorry if it comes off as offensive. It was a thought that crossed my mind when I decided to post.

 

[teal]

I'm glad to see this because sometimes I see mothers in relationships comparing themselves to single mothers just because their partner works long hours and it's definitely not the same thing! x

 

[daneuse27]

I agree teal, I find that annoying sometimes too!

OP, I know you meant no offense. One of the worst things I think about being a single parent are having people pity you. I'm actually in the closet about being a single mom in real life, because I don't want people to start judging and making assumptions about my life. I actually have a happier life than a several two parent families I know and I wouldn't change anything now. So I don't need pity from anyone.

 

[teal]

I agree teal, I find that annoying sometimes too!

OP, I know you meant no offense. One of the worst things I think about being a single parent are having people pity you. I'm actually in the closet about being a single mom in real life, because I don't want people to start judging and making assumptions about my life. I actually have a happier life than a several two parent families I know and I wouldn't change anything now. So I don't need pity from you or anyone.

I don't tell many people that I'm a single mother either. If I'm directly asked about a partner then I won't lie but I don't go out my way.
I'm glad it's not just me in the closet though xx

 

[daneuse27]

I agree teal, I find that annoying sometimes too!

OP, I know you meant no offense. One of the worst things I think about being a single parent are having people pity you. I'm actually in the closet about being a single mom in real life, because I don't want people to start judging and making assumptions about my life. I actually have a happier life than a several two parent families I know and I wouldn't change anything now. So I don't need pity from you or anyone.

I don't tell many people that I'm a single mother either. If I'm directly asked about a partner then I won't lie but I don't go out my way.
I'm glad it's not just me in the closet though xx

Thanks teal, I actually have gone as far as to lie to people I was never used to being dishonest before and feel terrible about not telling the truth, but I made friends who when first meeting them I didn't feel comfortable discussing private details of my life. I've known one very nice lady almost a year now and she still doesn't realize I'm single I feel I should tell her, but at the same time dread having to because I don't want to be thought of as different, sad, pitiful and other things I know people out there think about single moms. Not to mention its been so long now, that itll seem strange that ive waited until now to tell her. i also have another friend i met about 4 months ago, she's married but no kids yet. she also doesn't know about my single motherhood, I have never felt comfortable telling her. its horrible feeling so hesitant to be open and honest with new friends. I absolutely hate it. Its probably been the worst part of single parenting for me; aside from that, I'm happy with my life itself because i have a good support network and couldn't be happier with my daughter.

may I ask how people react when you tell them you're single? Do you get the pitying stares and awkward comments that I'm so afraid if getting? I wouldn't know because I almost never tell anyone x

 

[Dezireey]

To be honest ladies, I think this idea that you can't say you are a single parent is mostly in your head and in today's society and with the values and perceptions on life that most people have today, it's not as much an issue as people think.

There will always be judgemental people, people who will look you up and down if you are just wearing the wrong clothes. But being a single parent is something to be very, very proud of. I always tell people I am a single parent. I just don't tell them the whole story of my arse of an FOB as it's too long a story and they wouldn't believe me anyway! I just say that my ex and I split up two years ago and no-one bats an eyelid! It's how you say it really. If you act as if it doesn't affect you, they don't feel sorry for you.

Look at the last two world wars, how many women back then had to bring up families alone because the fathers never returned from battle? There are soooo many situations that women find themselves in bringing up kids alone and it should be a wonderful achievement. Don't think you have to hide the truth, you are doing the most amazing jobs and are the greatest mums, all of you

 

[rebeccalouise]

I agree with Dezireey being a single mum isn't easy at the best of times, but we should all be so proud! If you feel like you don't want to tell people, don't. It's not really anybodies business but your own. I'm not ashamed of being a single parent, but I don't shout about it. I rarely get any pity to be honest, I've only ever had people telling me that I should be proud of myself and that I'm doing a great job.. I don't mind that in the slightest!

 

[Leanna5813]

I agree with Dezireey being a single mum isn't easy at the best of times, but we should all be so proud! If you feel like you don't want to tell people, don't. It's not really anybodies business but your own. I'm not ashamed of being a single parent, but I don't shout about it. I rarely get any pity to be honest, I've only ever had people telling me that I should be proud of myself and that I'm doing a great job.. I don't mind that in the slightest!

That's what I was basically trying to say is that I'm proud of single parents because I saw how hard it was at times for my mom but she never gave up. I'm happy I'm not a single parent, but not because I pity or feel sorry for anyone that is. I just know how much harder you work and honestly, if anything, you guys are better parents for it because you dont have someone else to share it all with! I didn't mean to offend anyone, but I do understand how some people could look at it as pity because I dont personally know what its like to go it alone.

 

[daneuse27]

To me, saying "I'm glad I'm not you" isn't the nicest way of saying what I think you're trying to say. I wouldn't say to someone with a learning disability that I'm glad I don't have a learning disability (for example.) Some of us are happy with our lives and wouldn't change anything. But quite a few of us have tremendous struggles too, it depends on the situation, just as it does with two-parent homes. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you mean well. I know you didn't come on here to put anyone down.

 

[sue_88]

It seems Leanna was only coming here to say how she admires single parents, let's not twist around her words.

I love being a single mummy, my baby girl is all mine! I get nothing but admiration when I tell people I am a single mum because I do a bloody good job!

I've never lied once about being a single mum, lying to me would show shame and I am not ashamed one bit of my situation. I see a lot of married couples, and a lot of arguments that have followed a baby.....I find my life so incredibly easy that I couldn't imagine someone else being in it, messing things up!

Lots of people say "I don't know how you do it" but these are people who have help so struggle when it's gone, I've never known help so don't know any different, I just, do it!

Thanks Leanna for your kind words!

 

[teal]

I wouldn't say I was ashamed of being a single mum, it's just personal and I'm unsure of people's reactions. One person has said they never thought I'd get caught out which was irritating seeing as two types of birth control failed. When I was pregnant someone else said congratulations but when I said my ex isn't going to be involved she said she better take back her congratulations.

Daneuse - most people have been supportive more than anything one person I had to tell was my boss and she was brilliant. I've not outright lied but I do understand that it's easier at times than being asked questions

 

[sue_88]

Yeah it's definitely personal, for me though I know I couldn't lie, I would feel like was trying to hide it....and I couldn't do that. But that's definitely only for me. It does invite some interesting questions!

 

[teal]

I wouldn't lie about it but I don't go out my way to tell people x

 

[tallybee]

I think you learn to deal with whatever life throws at you because you have to. What's the alternative? I never had any help with my kids when they were tiny and if I'd given up they'd have gone into the care system, giving up just isn't an option. It's not about strength, it's about necessity.

I do get pitying looks because if people ask abut my relationship status I tell them the truth which is I am a widow. I don't want pity but there it is.

You never know what's round the corner, circumstances could change in a blink of an eye and life has to go on.

 

[sue_88]

You're right Tally. My dad recently said to my mum "it's so nice she gets to go out" (in reference to going on a nice hill walk with my friend with baby in Ergo.

But I'm like......of course I go out, I have to! I don't need pity for being alone he didn't mean it nasty but my mum was a bit taken aback by it.