Shy hello :) Would love some advice!
- Thread starter baymax
- Start date
Hey Rikka,
Congrats on the LO. You asked about studying... I was completing my final year of school when I had my LO, last year.
During my June exams, she was born. I managed to stay breastfeeding and in school and working some small jobs to get enough money to contribute but to still have time with my LG. I wrote my final matric exams in November and as difficult as it was, I did quite well.
I started up a business just before my daughter was born and this year I plan to work on my business and get some good money coming in. I also am going to be studying psychology through a distance education university in my country. I have already done 3 photo shoots this year and people actually don't seem to mind that I'm baby-wearing while taking pics, lol.
Also, a lot of "baby" stuff on the market is literally just for money making purposes. I put myself down to one question when I see something, "Would my great grandmother have used this?" If not, I don't buy it. That has saved me a lot of money.
Getting child support also helps a lot so I would really make sure make arrangements- regardless of pride. I wish I had accepted the child support sooner!
Congrats, once again and good luck
Congrats on the LO. You asked about studying... I was completing my final year of school when I had my LO, last year.
During my June exams, she was born. I managed to stay breastfeeding and in school and working some small jobs to get enough money to contribute but to still have time with my LG. I wrote my final matric exams in November and as difficult as it was, I did quite well.
I started up a business just before my daughter was born and this year I plan to work on my business and get some good money coming in. I also am going to be studying psychology through a distance education university in my country. I have already done 3 photo shoots this year and people actually don't seem to mind that I'm baby-wearing while taking pics, lol.
Also, a lot of "baby" stuff on the market is literally just for money making purposes. I put myself down to one question when I see something, "Would my great grandmother have used this?" If not, I don't buy it. That has saved me a lot of money.
Getting child support also helps a lot so I would really make sure make arrangements- regardless of pride. I wish I had accepted the child support sooner!
Congrats, once again and good luck
Hey all, thanks for all the advice Cheyby, your story is amazing! You accomplished so much (even WITHOUT having a baby that's amazing). When I go back to uni next month hopefully I'll be able to sort everything out.
Quick update on the situation thus far: I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, she prescribed me folic acid and recommended some other vitamins, so everything is all good there. She passed me on to a midwife who seems wonderful, I'm meeting with her next week. I'm just over six weeks.
I'm planning on telling the father tomorrow. I have no idea how he'll take it, I'm so scared. But I know I have to do this, I think I've kept this from him long enough :S
Cheyby, your story is amazing! You accomplished so much (even WITHOUT having a baby that's amazing). When I go back to uni next month hopefully I'll be able to sort everything out.Quick update on the situation thus far: I went to the doctor a couple of days ago, she prescribed me folic acid and recommended some other vitamins, so everything is all good there. She passed me on to a midwife who seems wonderful, I'm meeting with her next week. I'm just over six weeks.
I'm planning on telling the father tomorrow. I have no idea how he'll take it, I'm so scared. But I know I have to do this, I think I've kept this from him long enough :S
I just got home from work, I made the mistake of telling the father before work today haha. I'll start at the beginning. I invited him to grab a coffee this morning, where I pretty much blurted it out as soon as we sat down, so I wouldn't lose my nerve. He was shocked, like he didn't say anything for a while. He then got angry and asked if I was sure it was his, he just got into a relationship, did I have any idea how it'll stuff everything up for him. Then he kind of went on to blame me. At this point I basically ran away bawling my eyes out. The father isn't a bad guy at all, I think just because it was so completely out of the blue, and he had a lot planned for this year that having a child wouldn't allow him to do. He's said as much in texts where he's been apologising profusely and he's been trying to call me a lot since about an hour after I saw him, which I haven't replied to or answered, I don't want to talk to him right now :/
Pens
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Well done for telling him, getting it straight out there was probably the best thing to do. I'm sorry that he got mad at you, you're right that it was most likely just the shock of it all but he still should have considered your feelings, it takes two to tango and you're probably going to have to put things on hold as well, it's not all about him. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to him right now, I wouldn't want to either, give yourself a few hours to chill out and then maybe reply, you'll probably be able to discuss it properly now it's sunk in for him. 
How are you feeling apart from the obvious?
How are you feeling apart from the obvious?
I think I'll talk to him tomorrow after work. I just am too upset and tired to deal with this at the moment :L Thank you for the support
I'm feeling tired all the time, cranky, achey, and I am vomitting constantly. I've been experimenting with things to make me feel better, and a few things have worked and have saved me for when I have to work. I'm sick in between and occasionally on my breaks XD I'll talk to the midwife about it next week and see if she can recommend anything else.
I'm feeling tired all the time, cranky, achey, and I am vomitting constantly. I've been experimenting with things to make me feel better, and a few things have worked and have saved me for when I have to work. I'm sick in between and occasionally on my breaks XD I'll talk to the midwife about it next week and see if she can recommend anything else.
good job for telling the father! as the pp already said, it is just a shock reaction and the fact he's tried to contact you later and apologized profusely is a good sign. no matter how cautious you are when breaking a news like this, it is always gonna be a shock. it is not so much how you said it, as much as the content and the consequences.
i am sorry he sounded so selfish and aggressive but hey... shock and fear can do crazy stuff even to the best of the people.
take your time to digest his reaction and then reply to him. cry your heart out as much as you feel you need to. his reaction albeit understandable was really poor and it is normal to feel the way you do and he needs to understand this as well. you've been dealing with this great so far and really kudos for it.
i hope it all clears out with him! when are you telling your parents?
i am sorry he sounded so selfish and aggressive but hey... shock and fear can do crazy stuff even to the best of the people.
take your time to digest his reaction and then reply to him. cry your heart out as much as you feel you need to. his reaction albeit understandable was really poor and it is normal to feel the way you do and he needs to understand this as well. you've been dealing with this great so far and really kudos for it.
i hope it all clears out with him! when are you telling your parents?
Thank you I've calmed down a bit. I replied to him yesterday, and we arranged to meet up next week and calmly talk about it. I'm meeting the midwife tomorrow, so I'll have extra stuff to tell him. Hopefully we can sort this all out :s
I think I'll tell them after I've discussed everything with the father, I think I'd feel better telling them if I have things sorted out. I'm also really nervous :L
I've calmed down a bit. I replied to him yesterday, and we arranged to meet up next week and calmly talk about it. I'm meeting the midwife tomorrow, so I'll have extra stuff to tell him. Hopefully we can sort this all out :sI think I'll tell them after I've discussed everything with the father, I think I'd feel better telling them if I have things sorted out. I'm also really nervous :L
