Siblings attending HB?

[MissRhead]

Anyone else planning or had their other children present at their homebirth? Can you tell me how you and they found it? Also, has anyone planned their homebirth quite late? My midwife told me to make my final decision by my next appointment in 2 weeks where I will be 36 weeks, will their be enough time?

 

[tablefor4]

My DS was present at my homebirth with my DD. He was 4.5years old at the time. The only other people present were my DH and the midwife.

We had told DS about birth earlier, explained there might be some weird noises but it was okay and Mum wasn't sick - just that it was a bit sore to get the baby out. We explained that there might be a bit of blood, but it was okay too, that's what happened when the baby came out and that there was nothing to be worried about. We told him he could come into the bedroom or watch his movies in the lounge - or come back and forth - whatever he wanted to do.

I was in labour during the day, nothing major and manageable. While I was coping, we didn't say anything to him. When it became more intense, we got heaps of snacks out for him and told him the baby was getting ready to come. He just kind of shrugged and went back to his dinosaur movie. I was in active labour for 2 hours and 45 minutes and over that time he just wandered back and forth between the lounge and bedroom. When I got a bit noisy, he sat up by my head and patted my hair and offered me his drink bottle. He was there when she was born, he looked down and said "ewwww, she's slimy". When the cord was being cut he asked why - we explained it was how the baby was fed on the inside, but she didn't need it any more. He thought about it for a moment and said "Yeah, and anyway, you'd have to cut it because if you wanted to ride a bicycle, she'd be bouncing along the road beside you". Made me crack up - and I realised that he because he knew there was nothing "wrong", he was very unfazed by the whole process. Then he went back to his movie.

He is now 13 and DD is 8 and we're planning a homebirth for No.3, due in 10 weeks. Both will be here and both can choose to come and go into the room if they please. DD is adamant she wants to be woken up if it's in the middle of the night, DS just shrugs and says whatever.

It seems your LO is over 4, so if it's explained very matter of factly (and they are not an extremely sensitive child), they will probably do fine being there.

You don't need much for a homebirth - they don't tend to confirm them til later in pregnancy anyway to make sure you haven't had complications that would preclude your eligibility. 36 weeks will still leave you plenty of time to get organised. I had such a great experience last time, and I have relatively uncomplicated and fast births, it was a no-brainer to do it again.

All the best!

 

[MissRhead]

Thank you so much. I really think my LO will be fine with it, he is very interested in the whole thing and we even watch one born every minute together lol. If he did however get upset my parents live on the same street so it would be no trouble to get my dad to get him (my mum will be my BP) I think my main reason for really wanting him their is for my own benefit (is that selfish!) I think he will help keep me calm and manage the pain better if he is in the room with me.

I'm unsure weather I want a pool or not, I don't want to give birth in a pool but I wonder if I'd like the option of labouring in it or if my bathtub would do?

 

[tablefor4]

Sounds like your ds will cope just fine!

Re:the bath. I suppose that depends on how big/deep your bath tub is. I tried the bath with dd but I got too hot and it wasn't quite deep enough to be much use. In fact it rather aggravated the pain in my pelvis. But whether thats because it wasn't deep enough and too hard, or just because that was labour in general - I don't know. Weird pregnancy buoyancy and slope on the bath made it impossible to get comfortable or torkeep my belly in the water.

I had ds in hospital and was only allowed to labour in the pool which was sufficiently deep. I do remember it being lovely for that purpose.
My hb midwife has her own pool so I am aiming for hopefully a water birth this time.

I'm almost jealous that you're that much closer to birth than me. Im finding it interminably long!

 

[moomin_troll]

I went into labour when my son was in bed and finished by the time he got up, was annoying because the useless mw made me go hospital for stitches. So they didn't meet when I wanted
I had my mum and little sister turned up at my birth, then the mw turned up late. So I really didn't need her. I loved my hb.
Do u have anyone that could come just to entertain ur lo? That was my sisters job, but he slept through it all

 

[ljo1984]

I got transferred from my hb but my little girl who was almost 2 at the time was there during most of my labour, I'm quiet so she wasn't phased or worried, just played with toys then my mum came to entertain her too. I'm planning on having both my girls there this time, my youngest probably won't be interested until there's a baby to look at but my eldest loves everything baby, birth related and has watched plenty of hb videos on YouTube. She's my mini mw

 

[MissRhead]

Thank you for all the replys, I'm thinking of just letting him come and go between my house and my parents so he doesn't get bored if its a long time then just try and make sure he's at home before I deliver.

Re the pool my midwife said she can try and source one from someone who's had a HB already and I'd just need a new liner, where would be the best place to get one from?

I'm getting really excited now, I was really unsure at first but now it just seems perfect, I have this image of my LO helping to cut the cord and having my family around me, I've been really anxious about the whole thing this time but I feel so much better with this x