T
Tanzibar83
Guest
Hey girls, I suffered a loss last month at 8 weeks 2 days. Took me 14 months to get there, tonnes of doctors and hospital appointments, hundreds of pounds spent on tests and supplements, fertility drugs and it still wasn't enough.
This month we put an offer into a house which got accepted, went to HSBC today to get a mortgage and we got declined, saying our credit score is to blame. Feel like crap once again and I'm so sick of crying all the time. It's been 40 days since I lost my one and only baby and there's only been 3 days where I've not cried. Thought getting a house would help you know? thought it would help distract us both and get us back on track with life - now it feels as though we're right back at rock bottom.
I'm so tired of house hunting, so tired of finding the whole TTC process beyond shite, tired of my job, tired of acheiving in life when it doesn't even guarantee the things I long for. All I want is to feel normal, blend in, be part of the crowd, feel like one of those "average" and "typical" people.
I just feel like a freak, feel like I'm never going to just be normal. Feel like people will look at me in 20 years time when I'm at the back end of 40 and think "aww poor woman, can't get a house, can't have kids" - I don't really feel accepted anywhere yet I don't do anything wrong - where's it gone wrong?!?!?! why do I feel like this?
This month we put an offer into a house which got accepted, went to HSBC today to get a mortgage and we got declined, saying our credit score is to blame. Feel like crap once again and I'm so sick of crying all the time. It's been 40 days since I lost my one and only baby and there's only been 3 days where I've not cried. Thought getting a house would help you know? thought it would help distract us both and get us back on track with life - now it feels as though we're right back at rock bottom.
I'm so tired of house hunting, so tired of finding the whole TTC process beyond shite, tired of my job, tired of acheiving in life when it doesn't even guarantee the things I long for. All I want is to feel normal, blend in, be part of the crowd, feel like one of those "average" and "typical" people.
I just feel like a freak, feel like I'm never going to just be normal. Feel like people will look at me in 20 years time when I'm at the back end of 40 and think "aww poor woman, can't get a house, can't have kids" - I don't really feel accepted anywhere yet I don't do anything wrong - where's it gone wrong?!?!?! why do I feel like this?
