Sick of hearing it.....

[bek74]

I am sick of the doctors and Paeds always saying " it's a prem thing " so frustrating.
My twins are shocking feeders always have been. Only good thing is they now take bottles willingly where as before they wouldn't take anything and landed themselves in hospital for food refusal.
My twins were born @ 28wks, they are 20mths old ( almost 21mths ) and 18mths corrected and still eat puréed food. They will eat a little mash potatoe off my plate but only a little and bits of cheese and cheese and bacon ball chips ( cause they dissolve in their mouth) I want them eating table food. If I do a plate up for them and try and feed them they may take some mouthfuls but tend to just hold it in their mouth and not swollow. If I allow them to self feed they just play with it and toss it everywhere.
I have tried tinned food with some lumps but they garg and throw up, I am going insane.
The problem I am having is they are over the taste of the puréed foods, they are bored of them and it is getting harder and harder to feed them. They want what we have but can't eat it.
The twins r babies 4 and 5 so it's not like I am a new mum or anything.
I get so frustrated and upset seeing other toddlers eating sandwiches, veges, fruit etc and loving their food. It is getting me down, I feel like a failure and when I ask for help the only thing they tell me is " it's a prem thing " it seems like the programmed response by all Doctors, I want more.

Ok thanks for reading my vent xoxo

 

[toothfairyx]

How annoying for you
Just a thought - do they spend much time in the company of other babies or similar actual age? The reason I ask is because my 28 weekend who is now 17 months actual has gone to nursery 3 days a week since he was quite little and in terms of overall development he has caught right up and in terms of feeding he is now feeding himself with a spoon, albeit it messily. I am not under any illusions that he is some kind of amazing special case more that he sees what the other babies his age are doing and wants to copy them. Also in a situation of 16 toddlers to 6 adults they can't all be fed by a carer at mealtimes or they would starve so he has had to learn.

Are you able to get them together with some baby friends for meals to see if it helps at all? Your other children might just be that bit older that it's too advanced ifyswim?
I appreciate putting them in nursery is not everyone's cup of tea or even appropriate if you are able to be home with them. One thing for sure, they won't starve themselves if you stop assisting them so much!

As for the doctors, mine make no allowances now for his prematurity and I've had more of the opposite - ie stop treating him like a premature baby which has been equally annoying at times particularly as his lungs aren't brilliant and every tiny cold gives him a chest infection

 

[bek74]

No they don't go to daycare as I am a stay at home mum. Michael is the worst of my two, he is actually happy to not eat and has gone over a week with no solids just bottles.
If I could just get them to love food and eating lumps life would be easier.
I have considered daycare but it is a lot of money on a one income family of 7.
I am seriously at my wits end and am getting so frustrated I just wanna scream and wack him, which of course I never ever ever would, I just give up and walk away.
I feel alone and confused and stressed out. My son is just so beautiful and I love him to bits, but he is driving me insane.

I need help......

 

[mumjaney]

Hi there reading your thread I can honestly say that I feel exactly the same way.

My little boy was 25+1 and 1 pound 4oz and is a terrible to feed its almost a nightmare everyday worrying about his food. He was in hospital for six months and took 4oz bottles every four hours without any problem. Then I was told to wean him at six months (which I now know was far too early, and will never do again with my second if they are early). Once I started to wean him he stopped taking bottles and his weight gain slowed down as the purress just don’t have any calories in (even when laden with butter cheese and cream). His milk intake then would be anything from 5oz to 10oz per day.

We have now done the ellas kitchen purees for so long he wont eat them. Even his weetabix and porridge, two spoons and the rest he wont swallow he just sits there holding it in his mouth. However the good thing is that he will now take his bottle a little better and takes 10-16oz per day. So basically he wont swallow anything. He will shove two or three wotsits in his moth at once and be fine with them but anything else and he is very dramatic choking and being sick (which we cant afford ). He's very thin and under weight he’s now 13 and half months and only 16 llbs.

I feel totally lost I see all these specialist regularly and we see an oxygen nurse every two weeks but none of them give any support they just say 'keep doing what you are doing'. I don’t think they honestly know the stress that we feel struggling to feed our babies. One of our nurses keeps telling me I am obsessed with his weight. Stupid thing to say of course I am, its my job as his mum. She says all her preemies are 7-8kgs. That doesn’t make life any easier though.

So big hug to you as I know how you feel. If you have any tips that work for you please let me know xxx

 

[bek74]

Hi there reading your thread I can honestly say that I feel exactly the same way.

My little boy was 25+1 and 1 pound 4oz and is a terrible to feed its almost a nightmare everyday worrying about his food. He was in hospital for six months and took 4oz bottles every four hours without any problem. Then I was told to wean him at six months (which I now know was far too early, and will never do again with my second if they are early). Once I started to wean him he stopped taking bottles and his weight gain slowed down as the purress just don’t have any calories in (even when laden with butter cheese and cream). His milk intake then would be anything from 5oz to 10oz per day.

We have now done the ellas kitchen purees for so long he wont eat them. Even his weetabix and porridge, two spoons and the rest he wont swallow he just sits there holding it in his mouth. However the good thing is that he will now take his bottle a little better and takes 10-16oz per day. So basically he wont swallow anything. He will shove two or three wotsits in his moth at once and be fine with them but anything else and he is very dramatic choking and being sick (which we cant afford ). He's very thin and under weight he’s now 13 and half months and only 16 llbs.

I feel totally lost I see all these specialist regularly and we see an oxygen nurse every two weeks but none of them give any support they just say 'keep doing what you are doing'. I don’t think they honestly know the stress that we feel struggling to feed our babies. One of our nurses keeps telling me I am obsessed with his weight. Stupid thing to say of course I am, its my job as his mum. She says all her preemies are 7-8kgs. That doesn’t make life any easier though.

So big hug to you as I know how you feel. If you have any tips that work for you please let me know xxx

Omg that's what Michael does, he just holds it on his mouth and refuses to swallow.
Same story as you, Paed wanted them on solids for really bad reflux so u tried weaning them, then they developed full refusal and were back in hospital Feb last year for around a month.
Got them home and still weren't the best feeders but a lot better than before.
They at least took their bottles.
I can relate to you.
I felt like I was the only one and nobody understood the pure frustration and daily struggles we go through. I literally dread feed time.
Thankyou for just letting me know I am not alone it means more than you know.

 

[lozzy21]

Continue to give them food to feed them selfs, they will play and throw it around but eventually they will have a taste, it might just be a taste for a while but they will get there.

 

[mumjaney]

I think you are right, the only way forward is to let them have things to hold themselves. Oliver suprised us all this morning as we gave him a rectangular coffee biscuit in a cafe just to hold and he ate it all! I was in shock. He seemed to love it. I do believe that 90% of this eating problem is attitude, sometimes as long as its on his terms he will try it. I just wish he'd like a bannana or a bit of toast x

 

[AP]

Hi hun
We had the same issue for a while but using a spoonful of pasta stars in the puree and increasing it after a while helped.
Unfortunately though, the older they are the harder it can be, it isn't as easy as just letting them explore foods anymore as they are much more aware.

Marleysgirl on here has some good information on this, I'll give her a shout x

 

[Marleysgirl]

Hi there Bek

I can totally empathise with your situation - it's incredibly frustrating, and we are only now beginning to move forward again.

Our son Andrew was born at 29wks very tiny, so feeding & growth has always been a primary concern. We started to wean him at around 6m with tiny amounts of baby rice, at this time he was still on EBM but we changed over shortly thereafter to NutriPrem2 formula milk. We wanted to go down the line of traditional weaning (rather than babyled), so I spent a few months cooking, pureeing & freezing various fruits and vegetables. Andrew rather liked these ...

And then he was hospitalised with epilepsy. When he was discharged, he was on strong steroids to control the spasms which made him really hungry, but unfortunately he had totally gone against being spoonfed and would only take bottled milk. Calorie intake still being the primary concerned, we let him do what he wanted and gave up weaning for a while. When we re-started, he took against all the pureed food that I'd made and would only eat Stage 1 jars.

During the course of the next year (from 1st birthday to 2nd birthday) we struggled to move him forward to Stage 2 foods, he continued to gag on the small pieces of food they contained. We switched over to Plum Stage 2 pouches as they are mashed rather than lumpy, which he liked, but he then took against certain flavours - and we had the "hold in the mouth" problem. I'd stroke his cheek, or distract him with a toy, to get him to swallow. He ended up on ONE flavour of Plum pouch, the lemon chicken with sweetcorn. And he still refused to self-feed.

After his 2nd birthday, we had a session with a lovely community Dietitian who explained that Andrew was hitting his version of the "terrible twos". She explained that he was going through a "neophobic" stage, basically refusing anything that was new to him. And she reassured us that so long as he was eating something, and still getting sufficient calories even if most of that was formula milk in a bottle, then we shouldn't get too stressed about it. Apparently you never see an 11-year-old boy eating baby food ...

Six months on, Andrew is now 30 months actual (27m corrected). He still refuses to hand-feed, I have no idea how he knows what is food in his hand and what is a toy, but he knows! I look forward to warm summer months when we can sit outside with him and let him get messy with food to see if he'll start associating it. But we HAVE moved him onwards with the jars of food, thank goodness. The gagging on lumps has stopped, so he will now actually chew and swallow Stage 3 jars (even with noodles). He prefers chicken flavours still, and likes the food to contain herbs (this was one of the major breakthroughs in understanding his likings), but we can buy from a larger range of premade baby food. He has even eaten home-made mashed roast chicken dinner!!

He continues to have 3 bottles of formula milk a day (he's on super-high-calorie Infatrini), but his morning milk drowns the weetabix; the midday milk is considered a between meals snack; and the last is bedtime. I'm happy with that, it means that if he takes against the flavour of his dinner, we know he's still getting enough calories.

Our routine is such that Andrew tries a new food (a Stage 3 jar with lumps or homemade) at lunchtime, we set a minimum intake of 6 spoonfuls and if he takes more it's a bonus. He rarely clamps his mouth shut now in protest, it's more a case of distracting him and making him giggle then dashing in with a loaded spoon! For his afternoon tea, he still has the Plum pouch of his favourite flavour, we see that as reassuring for him to know that not all mealtimes are going to be a battle.

What can I say to you other than "hang in there, it does get better"

 

[bek74]

Thankyou so much for that. When Michael won't eat he has about 6-7 bottles in that day.
He will self feed but won't swallow it. He can hold it for over an hour.
He won't eat any jars, satchels or home made stuff, tried all flavours and different brands etc but nothing, I can't find one he just loves, if I did he could eat it all day long and I wouldn't mind lol.
He too was on premgrow for extra calories but then refused it so he is on s26 toddler milk but mixed with 50% water then 50% full cream milk.
Again that's ladies for chiming in and at least letting me know I am not alone cause I feel it most days.