Sick of the "Starting Over" Comments

[crancherry]

So, I am 34 but will turn 35 right before my due date. OH and I had a son very young who is now 17, and later another son who just turned 9. We are now thrilled to be expecting a girl in December!

I am so tired of people who ask if we have other kids asking why on earth we wanted to "start all over" and acting exasperated at the thought, like adding another child to our family is a giant inconvenience that will impose on our lives. They will ask if this was planned (as if it's any of their business!) and then react in shock when I say yes!

It's not like we were "finished" with the other kids, at 17 and 9 they still need plenty of attention and support in different ways! I really enjoyed the space between them so I felt like I could give them my full attention as babies and also have the help and support of an older sibling; I am looking forward to having two doting older brothers to help care for their new little sister.

To me, it's not "starting over" at all, it's continuing the love and growth of our family which is not negative in any way!

Sorry, just had to vent. I can't wait for our new arrival to get here and am just sick of the attitude all around that a baby is a burden and not a blessing

 

[Casper72]

I couldn't agree with you more. Some people are just insensitive and rude and don't think before they open their mouths. I've gotten similar comments from people as my two daughters will be 21 and 15 when LO arrives. The one I hate even more is that since I will be turning 40 during my pregnancy, some people have felt it necessary to point out that I will be nearly 60 when this child graduates high school. Duh, do you not think that my husband and I didn't discuss this in depth from every angle before we decided to expand our family? Ideally I would have loved to meet him 5 or 10 years ago and had this child at a younger age, but that's not how it worked out for us. The fact of the matter is we met when we did, love each other insanely and wish to share that love with a child that is a part of both of us at age 40 or not. People need to mind their own business.

Ignore them the best you can and don't let them rain on your parade.

 

[Casper72]

Oh, I also get the "was it planned?" question all the time and it infuriates me. YES IT WAS PLANNED! My husband had a vasectomy reversal in order to make this happen and it was not easy for us at all. Sometimes I wonder if people who say these things even realize how rude they are being?

 

[WhoopC]

I get those all the time too, my own mother said 'are you crazy, you were free and clear' meaning my son is almost 18 lol. I tell folks this was planned, just not by me. You don't mess with GOD's plan for your life

 

[Casper72]

WhoopC- I love it and totally agree!

 

[AmesLouise]

I get the same thing: "Are you happy about it?", "Was this planned?", "Did you want to have your kids so far apart in age?"
It bugs me so badly. AND....my two girls are 8 and 6! I just turned 39.

 

[CooCooCaChoo]

Same thing here. I just turned 35 and my other 2 will be 11 and almost 13 when baby arrives. The "you were almost free" comment really makes me mad. I've even had some people ask "what were we thinking". Most of the people who say this to me do not have kids, and I honestly think they are jealous and/or selfish. Hang tough ladies. My Dr told me we arent alone and that they are seeing a lot of older mothers these days.